I never thought that I would come to a point where I would say that Jesus is my best friend. Growing up, I had a terrible attitude. I thought everyone in the world was against me, and I'm afraid I gave everyone a reason to be. I grew up in the church, but I didn't know what it meant to be a Christian. Oh sure, I thought I was a Christian; but what I was really doing was "playing church". I went to church every Sunday, taught Sunday school, sang in the choir, helped with church dinners and the like; but aside from Sundays, God rarely, if ever, crossed my mind. Even then He only had a few hours at the most. In my mind, I was righteous. I was perfect. I was wrong. Things got worse as I got older. I hated life and couldn't see any point in it. I isolated myself from people and then somehow turned that into their fault. It was always someone else's fault...I was always the victim. Of course seeing myself this way didn't help my mindset improve any. I don't remember much of my high school years, but I remember that I was in a lot of pain. I was depressed most of the time and at times struggled with suicidal thoughts. It wasn't all bad, though; there were times I was happy, but they were few and far between. I think I hid it pretty well, though, because I'm not sure many people knew I felt like this. I was a pretty mean person who never hesitated to let my family know what I thought of them...and unfortunately, it was hardly ever very nice. I think I was known for my temper tantrums (pretty sad for a 16 year old), stubbornness, anger, violence, and my horrible attitude--none of which I am very proud. So in an effort to rid myself of whatever was plaguing me, I threw myself into religion. As I said before, I saw myself as righteous...even holy. I remember thinking how much better I was than those in my classes at church. I did good things...I helped people...I was baptized as a baby...that made me a Christian. Right? Well, my attitude somehow began to improve; but I was still depressed and very angry. I think I just learned to hide it better. About the time I started attending Alma College, we got a computer. I ended up getting addicted to the internet--chat rooms in particular. This in and of itself wasn't a good thing. It isolated me even more from my family. BUT, Romans 8:28 says that "all things work together for good to those who love God"; and even though I didn't love Him yet, He brought about a miracle through my addiction. It was through this addiction that He brought me into contact with some wonderful Christians who taught me what it was to be a real Christian. To paraphrase author Kay Arthur, I was able to move from a religion to a relationship. And that has made all the difference. There is no way I can explain it; but the moment I gave my life to Christ, the anger and depression that had been a part of me for so long were taken from me. It was like I was a totally different person, and as it turns out I was. The Bible says that when we trust in Jesus as our Saviour, we are a new creation. This is something that I cannot thank Him for enough! When I think about how different my life is now than it was a few years ago, I am amazed. No one knew how I felt during all those years, but there's a world of difference between who I am now and who I was then. I'm not saying that my life is perfect now. Far from it! There are still things that I struggle with. But with His help, I know I can overcome them. He's helped me to realize that I don't need to turn to people or things to be happy. All I need is Him. He has given me joy beyond measure. Even on my worst days, I'm still happy because I know that no matter what happens God is in control. This is something you can't possibly understand unless you've been there. (For an update, click here) I wish I could tell you just how much Jesus loves you! I just don't have the words to express how much He cares for you, but the good news is that you can experience His love for yourself! All it takes is acknowledging that you are a sinner (because we all are. No one is without sin...no matter how good that person is.), realizing that Jesus Christ is the only one who could sacrifice Himself for our sins (He loved us...YOU...so much that He took the sins of the world...YOUR SINS...upon Himself and died on a cross. He didn't have to. He did it because He loves us!), and accepting Him as your Saviour. This means making Him - and Him alone - the Lord of your life. It doesn't matter how you do it. There's no "formula" for becoming a Christian. Just tell Him your heart. Tell Him that you know you're a sinner and you're sorry. Confess your sins to Him, and He will heal your hurt. He CAN and WILL do it. Those who sincerely seek Him will find Him. He promises us that. Trust me when I say that this is the most important decision you'll ever make. It took me 20 years to do it, and I don't know how I managed so long without Him. I've been a real Christian now for 5 1/2 years; and no matter what I have gone through, I have never, ever regretted giving my life to Christ. I pray that you will find the same to be true for you. One last thing. If you have decided to take this all important step, please talk to someone about it. You can email me, and I can get the name of a church in your area where you can talk with someone in person about what a relationship with Jesus means.