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Hi My name is Jan. You have been visiting my angel Samantha May. Samantha is the baby of three. She was a passenger in her boy friends car. On May 18th I got the phone call every parent fears. Your daughter has been in an accident. Samantha was sliding over to sit next to her boyfriend after saying something funny. As he took his eyes off the road for a second when he looked back they were in the ditch. They hit a brick embankment at 50 miles an hour. Very little damage to the car or the boyfriend. Samantha however hit the rearview mirror & windshield with her head, breaking both. She was in a coma from that point on. For 10 days I begged, pleaded, & cried. But on May 28th in the early morning hours as I played the song my heart will go on she slipped away to heaven. I am very grateful for the fight she did to give me those precious days to loving care for her and to say everything I wanted to say. The theme song of both pages have special meaning to us both. My heart will go on was her favorite after seeing the Titanic movie too many times to count. This sparked her need to talk about people going on after someone dies with her family as well as with her boyfriend. I wonder now if somehow she knew she would be gone soon. The other song still has haunting memories for me and I break down when I hear the first few notes. The song how do live without you says it all. On the 5th day of her hospital stay a conference was called, we were told the human that once was Samantha was no longer there and never would be again. This played at 0100 am. I crawled right in next to her and sang this in her ear between heart wrenching sobs. I had to let her know what her leaving would do to me. When this song plays I am right back there, I smell her freshly washed hair, feel her cold cheek next to mine and hear the machines in the back ground. Someday i hope it will be a pleasant reminder of those last days. I have been blessed with many signs from her that she indeed does go on. Too many to list here. Samantha loved animals, Unicorns, bunnies,etc. She helped her dad build houses and did the brick work on most. She had plans to work where her sister Angel is now and attend school to get her counseling degree. She had plans to marry and have two children if which she had already named. Mekala Marie & Dakota Keith. She was a pack rat that saved many things so I many tapes of her singing and talking with friends. I have two other children both grown now. My three bedroom home is empty without them. I try to go on through this life as I know she would want but find it hard to do most days. I truly hope my other two understand why I think of her all the time and they know I love them no less. Many months ago I came here looking for others. I am sad to say I found many, but grateful for the love and comfort I have found. In doing these pages for my angel it has helped me to get through this first tough anniversary. I also hope that by visiting her pages someone else will be able to find comfort with me. I want to thank you for taking the time to meet my special angel. Samantha was also a giving person in her death as well as in her life. Months before the accident she let me know her wishes. She helped to save three peoples lifes through her precious gifts. Jan mom to Samantha May forever 15. |
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