I always wanted to find my birth parents. It wasn't because of any disrespect for my real parents, but I just felt as if there was a part of me missing. I began asking little questions about the age of 16. All the information I got was that you had to be 18 in order to really start. So I just gathered little bits and pieces over the next few years. Once I had my first daughter, Ashley, the search became a little more serious. But over time I had no luck. So as time went on I just got little bits of information here and there, but nothing that ever really helped. Although any information you get is some help. It's like doing a giant puzzle. So when I was about to be married, I tried once again. I thought wouldn't it be great to have them all there at my wedding. No luck! My husband was very supportive in my search, even though there wasn't a whole lot he could do for me other than just be there when things always failed. I tried everything out there and nothing ever seemed to work. I always would get so close and feel this is it I finally found them, only to run into the biggest, hardest wall. Talk about the worst feeling in the world. It would feel just like my heart was ripped right from my body. So I would then quit for a while to try and get my nerves back on track, then after time, start again.

After about 2 years of marriage, I needed surgery. So off on my journey I went again. I had to find out something, especially on my medical information. It is so hard when you go to the doctors and they ask all these questions and you have no answers. Time came for my surgery and I had no information. I then became pregnant with my 2nd daughter, Kiah. I had numerous problems during my pregnancy. Then after she was born, she needed to have surgery. It wasn't real serious, but any surgery is scary. I really needed to get my medical history now. Ashley and I have just about every allergy known to mankind, and it seemed Kiah was following suit. I worried as to whether she would have a reaction to something while in surgery or not. I set out on my voyage once again determined that this time I would accomplish my goal. Time was getting closer for her surgery and I still had no information. I had met that big wall of disappointment again. But this time I wasn't giving up so easily. A friend came to me and said she had saw on a television show about a group called "REUNITE". They were in Columbus, Ohio, which is about 2 hours from me. I debated on what to do. I had already spent what seemed like a fortune and nothing had worked. But I decided to give it one more try. I went to a meeting that they held. I sat there and listened to everyone and they sounded just like me. It seemed a little strange, because for years no one knew how I felt and here sat a whole roomful. After the meeting a lady approached me and asked when my daughters surgery was. She said that if I could give her 3 months she would have an answer for me. So I said ok. On January 13th, 1995, which was friday by the way, my phone rang. It was Reunite. She has the names I need. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know whether to jump up and down, or just pass out. She said "Don't do anything till I get back with you!" Of course I agreed, but she didn't know me very well. I immediately jumped off the phone grabbed the phonebook and started going through the names. Father was Martin but there was way to many Martin's to call. I then went to Maley's, which was mothers name. There was only 6 Maley's in the whole book. What are the odds that they were all related. I picked one and dialed, no answer. I picked another, there was an answer. I started to sweat profusly. Now what do I do, what do I say? How do you explain what you are doing? Well somehow I managed to get it out and low and behold it was a cousin. She said "Come out, I will get ahold of your mother!" I hung up and called my best friend, Denise. Told her the scoop. She said "WAIT! You can't go with out me, after all these years you have put me through this!" I then called my mother and said this is it I found her. She however was unable to go this night. I told her I would call as soon as I got home and fill her in. We arrived at the cousins house. We sat anixously waiting. Another cousin came and was checking me out. I felt like I was on display or something. They said how I was the spitting image of my mom and sisters. They were in shock at how much I looked just like them. Let me tell you talk about nervous, I was nervous. Sweating like a, well I don't know what, but I was sweating. There was a car pulling down the drive. They said she was here. You talk about wondering if I could run and hide. I was scared to death. In walked a man, then his wife, THEN the birth mother. We hugged, sobbed, cried, laughed, cried again. It was strange, I guess I did look just like her. As a matter of fact I am just about her all over. We have so many things that we do just alike. Our favorite purfumes are the exact same. The exact same. Is that wierd or what? We even tie our shoes the same. The girl with her was one of my sisters and her husband. But her husband was a friend of mine. We were fixed up on a date together once. And I had just talked to my sister the week before we meet. I had even worked with her and 2 of my cousins too. It was so odd. I now have 5 sisters, Tami, Dee & Debi, twins, on my moms side. Kelly & Seneca on my dads side along with 2 brothers, John and Joe. Tami, the twins, Kelly and I talk all the time. It's like we have known each other all our lives. As for my birth mother we see each other once in a while. My birth father lives in Wyoming along with Seneca. I have met Seneca, she is 20 now. But my birth father won't acknowledge me. But thats alright. I have found what I wanted and left the door open to whomever wanted to walk through, and the ones who have walked through I continue to see. I didn't want to pressure anyone into anything. I left it up to them all. We have so much fun together. Alot of times I miss not having siblings growing up and wonder what it would have been like. But I have them now and have to remember I cant grieve for the past, I have today and the future to reach for. We can never make up lost time, but we can make new time together. And that is exactly what we are doing. It is still strange to say I have 5 sisters and 2 brothers but I like saying it. I feel whole and connected now. I feel fortunate that I do have 2 mothers. Even if my birth mother is still kinda uncomfortable. I do know that if I did ever need anything, she would be there. Here is one of those strange things that happen in life. When pregnant with my last baby everyone always asks whats the name. I told my sisters it was Peyton. They all looked at me with the biggest look of surprise and unbelief. What I asked. They said that is grandpa's name. I just about died I couldn't believe it. I never knew what his name was at all and I had picked it out for the baby. Which was nice, because grandpa died shortly after Peyton was born. Some other strage things are that I always ran around on the south side of town. Never had friends here where I lived, They were from south side. Absolutely loved this farm that was out of town, and on the way to Tami's told her how I loved it and was sad it got ran down. She looked at me once again in surprise, that was where we lived and grew up. We all knew the same people and ran with the same people. Its like I knew somehow all my life, but just didn't realize it. We were all connected in some sort of way and still are and always will be.

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