Hassell's Ixtapa Trip (1996)

In late May of 1996, we departed San Francisco to Ixtapa, Mexico, with a brief layover in Guadalajara. The flight went smoothly, and we arrived at the Ixtapa airport in the late afternoon. We'd made reservations at the Krystal Ixtapa hotel, and their van driver was waiting for us.

It was about a 15 minute ride to the hotel, and the landscape was parched and dry with little if any greenery. During the last few minutes of the ride - as we got closer to the hotel zone on the beach - lush greenery and golf courses were everywhere. Money = green.

We had reserved an oceanview room at the Krystal Ixtapa sight unseen, mainly because we'd been so pleased with the Krystal Vallarta in our previous visits to Puerta Vallarta. We were not disappointed.

The Kyrstal Ixtapa (henceforth known as the "KI") had the usual open-air lobby with picturesque waterfall. We settled into our 10th floor rooom with private balcony and spectacular view of the beach, pool and ocean. The room featured a mini-bar, cable TV, a king bed and bathroom with tub and shower.

TRIP HIGHLIGHTS

THE BEACH -

Since we didn't rent a car, most of our activities centered around the gorgeous stretch of beach directly in back of the KI. With the rip currents strong and the waves pounding, swimming was usually off-limits, although we enjoyed the view from some comfortable chaise lounges next to the pool and overlooking the beach. It was hot (90-96 degrees F) and humid (90-95%), particularly in the afternoon, so we came to understand why post-lunch siestas are quite popular.

THE POOL -

The huge, free-form pool was lovely and offered all the amenities - swim-up bar (with submerged cocktail tables), bridges, waterslide, and manmade cliff with waterfall. The pool was kept immaculate by the ubiquitous pool cleaners and their nets.

Every morning around 9 or 10, the activities began with a water aerobics class. We always knew when the class began because the pounding beat of "The Macarena" introduced it. And believe me, we learned the Mac well before leaving the KI.

Next, a brisk volleyball game started, with young and old having fun.

We'd always made fun of those stupid poolside games resorts offer. But with a little lubrication of the tequila variety, the Activites folks talked us into entering a couple of the silly poolside contests during the week.

Bill astounded me by entering the "Sexy Belly" contest and doing an outstanding job of workin' it to the pounding beat of (you guessed it) - the Macarena. The crowd agreed, and he tied for first place.

Then in a weak moment, we entered the ever-popular "Drunken Banana" contest, which is even sillier than it sounds. Each couple had to eat a banana (without touching it with anything except their mouths), drink 2 beers, blow up a balloon and pop it between their stomachs - all as fast as possible.

We led the pack until we tried to pop the balloon. After driving the crowd wild with our repeated awkward attempts to crush the balloon between us, the growing feelings of nausea caused us to concede victory to a younger, thinner couple whose hipbones did a nice job of puncturing the damn thing. It took about a half hour before the banana/beer inspired queasiness subsided. Whew.

TRANSPORTATION -

We never rented a car in Ixtapa, taking taxis the few times we wanted to go to Zhijuantenejo or more than a mile from the KI. This didn't cramp out style at all. Car rentals run about $50/day and up.

We did rent a golf cart for about half a day and spuzzed all around the Ixtapa area - it was great fun.

FOOD/DRINK -

The best meal we had in Ixtapa was at a restaurant called Bogart's on the hotel property. Definitely dressy, Bogart's is a 3- or 4-star restaurant featuring continental fare like filet mignon, lobster, and Cherries Jubilee. The ambiance is straight out of the movie, "Casablanca", with Morrocan style furnishings and decor, pictures of Humphrey Bogart everywhere, a lighted pool in the dining room, and a pianist (with white piano) playing "As Time Goes By". Lovely. Expensive.

The KI's Patio Restaurant offered a decent breakfast buffet for about $8 American dollars. Fruit, juices, eggs, pastries, potatoes, breakfast meats, and omelets and sopas made to order. Good view of the pool and the beach, too.

Across the main drag from the KI is the Opal Cafe, a breezy, open-air cafe that's very popular among the tourists. Good breakfasts and sandwiches at reasonable prices.

ZHIJUANTENEJO -

Otherwise known as "Z-Town", Zhijuantenejo is a typical Mexican town compared to the tourist zone which is Ixtapa. Bill went to Zhijuantenejo one afternoon, and came back to hotel late that evening, swearing he'd found "the REAL Mexico". Oh yes, he was also wearing a guitarro's woven hat and a serape smeared with the remains of the snapper dinner he was bringing back for me. Bill had made some friends in Z-Town, and enjoyed several rounds of tequila before climbing into a taxi to come home. I only wish I'd had a camera....

SHOPPING -

There are many shops near the hotel district in Ixtapa, most concentrated in several shopping centers along the main drag. Beachwear, T-shirts, and hats seemed to be everywhere. We did find the cozy little Sergio Bustamente shop which offered a nice selection of the artist's works. We ended up buying a small bronze sculpture called "Rostro, Muro, Pies" ("Head, Face, Legs") after bargaining the shopkeeper down $100. A certificate of authenticity accompanied the sculpture.

After a week of sunning, swimming, and relaxing, we left Ixtapa with fond memories.

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