From the Editor:

Welcome to the first edition of The Weekly Woof! We hope to make this your first and most trusted source for canine news. We are commited to giving you unbiased impartial coverage of events in the World of Woof, and we will never discriminate on the basis of race, color or breed.

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FOOD THIEF
BUSTED -
HOOMINS TAKE DRASTIC ACTION!!

ALTON, IL (UPI) - A three-and-a half year old Golden Retriever named Blaze was brought up on charges of food theft this week after his hoomins found him with his head in the food bag helping himself once too often.

Mr. Blaze, who previously had a clean record (and a clean plate), said little in his defense. As he was led away to his crate, he could be heard saying "the diet made me do it!" His hoomins reluctantly acknowledged that he had been feeling deprived for months on the restricted rations ordered by TED.

The same hoomins have foiled future such thefts by purchasing two hefty food bins which can be padlocked for storage.

The perpetrator is currently on probation.

CONTRIBUTORS TO THIS ISSUE

The Canine Clowns, Korbie

SECRET REVEALED!!!

WHY DOGS HAVE WET NOSES!

When a man named Noah started building a boat in the middle of the desert, all his neighbors laughed. But Noah wasn't listening to them, he was listening to the G-d of the Hebrews, who said to build a boat. So Noah built a boat, which he called an ark.

When he finished it, he rounded up all the animals, two by two, to travel on his ark. People laughed at Noah's possums, panthers and penguins. They laughed at his cheetahs and chinchillas, giraffes and gazelles, and rhinoceroses and hippopatamuses. But into the ark went all the animals two by two.

Soon, it started to rain. It rained, and it poured, and it rained some more. People stopped laughing and the ark started floating.Noah and his family and all the animals, two by two, rode safely on the waters for 40 days and 40 nights.

When the rains stopped, out of the ark came Noah and his family and all of the animals, two by two. Except one. No one could find the little dog. Noah searched everywhere. He looked on the first deck, then the second deck, then the third deck. Finally, in the farthest corner in the lowest deck, he found the little dog. The dog was shivering and standing with his nose pressed hard against the side of the boat.

"Come here, little dog!" called Noah. "It's time to come out! Here, doggie, doggie!" The little dog wouldn't move. Noah gently pulled him away. "What's this?" said Noah. "A hole in the ark! The ark might have sunk! Little dog! You kept us safe- me, my family, and all of the animals, two by two! With your little nose!"

The little dog was proud. But mostly, he was hungry. "Little dog," said Noah, as he pulled out a juicy bone, "so all the world and all the generations will know your great deed, your nose will always be cold and wet, just as it is today."

That's how the dog got his cold, wet nose. When you feel it remember the little dog who used his nose to protect Noah, his family,and all of the animals, two by two.

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WILL WORK FOR FOOD - Hungry Golden Retriever will sit, come and stay for food. Contact BLAZE