From the
Editor:

Thanks for supporting The Weekly Woof! We have high hopes that you'll become a regular reader, and have some exciting features planned for you in upcoming issues. (Some might even be of interest to those hoomins who we know are reading over your shoulders - though we know they'd deny it!)

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Landmark Legal Decision:
PROPERTY RIGHTS
OF PACKMATES DEFINED!

A lengthy and vicious beagle dispute was settled out of court recently. The Hon. Judge Barkley who presided over the case issued a complex opinion, which was digested by the Weekly Woof's legal team of Cocker, Cocker, Cocker & Cocker, who summarized the Judge's ruling as follows:

1. If I like it, it's MINE.
2. If it's in my mouth, it's MINE.
3. If I can take it from you, it's MINE.
4. If I had it a little while ago,it's MINE.
5. If it's MINE, it must never appear to be yours in ANY way.
6. If I'm chewing something, all the pieces are MINE.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's MINE.
8. If I saw it first, it's MINE.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes MINE.
10. If it's broken, it's yours.

It was also noted that "only" dogs in a household would probably be within their rights if they were to apply these principles when attempting to resolve property disputes with their hoomins. However some hoomin experts remain in disagreement over this interpretation of the guidelines.

- WRECKREATION -

Our repawter, "Little Miss Mischief " has collected hair-raising tales of
DOGGIE DESTRUCTION!
You can even confess misdeeds of your own!

CLASSIFIEDS

7 mo Schnoozer needs summer job. Experience as unofficial therapy buppy at mymom's greenpaper place (she is PLV [Pretty Lady Vet] for hoomins), also buppy sit (have sat on buppies from mini-doxie to woolf). Been in buppiehouse, meanmom cut back T*R*E*A*T*S. Contact Leibchen c/o terryt at caldwell dot org

Are YOU Lonesome Tonight? Try the WINK*WINK Connection & Lonely Hearts CLUB

Walk a Mile in My Paws

This issue, learn about being a Therapy Dog!

By
Ripley

When I used to go to BDence in Indiana, She Who Must Be Obeyed (hoomins called her a trainer) was a tester for Therapy Dogs International. My mom thought that since I was so calm and gentle (and adorable!) that I'd be a good LovingHelpingDoggie (therapy dog). So, when I was not a buppy anymore, Mymom and I took a test together, and we did furry furry well. I got a special tag to wear on my collar that says "I Am A Therapy Dog," a neat card that has my handsome face on it that Mymom carries in her wallet, and a bunch of other stuff.

Now, in Minnesota, Mymom is in charge of a group called Pals On Paws, which is a chapter of Therapy Dogs International. We work with other LovingHelpingDoggies and their Moms and Dads and visit hoomins who have to live in a special place with nurses and helpers. Most of the hoomins we visit are many dog years old, but they are nice and sometimes a little sad because they can't have their doggies live with them, or their doggies are at the Bridge. So we come, in all our cute furry glory, and wag our tails (if we have tails!) and let them pet us and talk to us.

It is furry important work. Doggies have to be awfully good, and not jump or lick or put paws up. You can't be scared of rolly-chairs or medicine smells or noises or loud voices or anything. When we go by a room, Mymom asks the hoomins inside if they want to visit with the dog (MEMEME), and if they say "yes," in we go! They pet me, talk to me, tell me how pretty I am and ask lots of questions about me! Sometimes they tell me and Mymom about the doggies they used to have. It's fun, because I get lots of attention and skritches, and I get to wear my fancy bandana with the important patch on it! I go visit a couple of times a month, and I always get my furs brushed and get to GOFORARIDE!

If anydoggie or their mom or dad wants to know more about LovingHelpingDoggies, e-mail me, Ripley, and Mom and I will help.

If you're a dog with an interesting job or hobby, we'd love to take a walk in YOUR paws! Tell us your story!

- TRAVEL -

SIX WAGS OPENS FOR SEASON

Packs from across the nation are making the expanded "Six Wags Over America" a part of their vakashun plans this summer. Park officials point proudly to improvements in all the park's themed playgrounds. Watch for a review of the facilities in an upcoming issue!