Hope
I found the following story on the internet several years ago,
right after I was diagnosed with MS
and having a hard time dealing with it all.
I'm sorry I don't know who wrote it.
But it really touched my heart.
LIFE IN THE BLACK HOLE
Several years ago a member of an MS meeting referred to MS as being "in a black hole". It can refer to the pits when new symptoms develop, when you go into active phase, or just dealing with the daily events.
Taking 6 rounds of cladribine made me especially weak and I was deeper in the "black hole" than I have ever been. I started thinking about the experiences I was feeling and came up with this very vivid picture of what it was like to me.
Yes, I am in the "black hole". It is a deep hole and sometimes a thick, slimy grease is poured around the edges so that when I try to climb up I slip and fall back in.
Jesus and the Angels are in the hole with me. The hole is lighted with the glow of Jesus' face. It's not a blaring, blinding light but a soft glow. It is a cooling glow because the Angels gently move their wings.
Jesus keeps reassuring me that things are going to be OK. Ever once in a while I think I'm getting stronger and want to try to crawl to the top and peek out. Jesus agrees that I can try and cups His hands and lets me step up to see out. Lately, grease has been poured down the sides. I slip and fall back in. Jesus keeps telling me that "it's OK". He wipes my tears with His long white robe. We laugh about His robe being soaked with the tears but He assured me that that too is OK--it's drip dry.
Now, I'm feeling like I'm getting closer to the top and can even see light from the outside. I continue to be lifted up while standing in Jesus' strong hands. He keeps telling me, "you can do it. I'm helping you." I do know that if the sides get greasy and I slip back in Jesus will once again clean me up, wipe my tears and give reassurance that it's OK. I can't stay in the "black hole" forever. I must return to the outside but Jesus assures me that He will be there with me also.
The Angels softly sing but I am especially comforted when Jesus sings the chorus of "Lean On Me". "Lean on me when you have no strength to stand. When you feel you're going under, hold tighter to My hand. Lean on Me when your heart begins to bleed. When you come to the place that I'm all you have, then you'll find I'm all you need."
It's a very uncomplicated, simple life in the hole. It's not full of hidden meanings, difficult thoughts and commands. It's not spoken in King James words but in soft, gentle, common words that I can understand. Jesus doesn't speak so loud or fast that I can't process the speech. He is very patient, gentle and calm.
It's an experience that I will NEVER forget. God has frequently been there but Jesus never left my side. I think of God being like a Grandpa and Jesus being like a Daddy.
Back to the TinRib's MS Links Page
Back to the TinRib's Home Page