Angel Babies
by: Jon Crane

Saturday Ramblins, Vol. 2, No. 2 (January 23, 1999)

The French have a saying that goes, "A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase." Some infants never get that chance but remain little angels forever.

Lana's second child, Joshua, was born in 1988 with a birth defect. He was a thanatrophic dwarf and was not expected to live beyond a few hours … days at the most. But Lana didn't see it that way. In her eyes, this beautiful little boy deserved as good a shot at life as any child. Because of her nurturing, love and faith in God, Joshy did live – for seven months. Enough time for a strong bond to be formed between mother and infant.

In the backyard of the house Lana grew up in, there is an enormous, old China rose tree. Ever since she was a child, Lana counted the days till spring, waiting for the tree to bloom. Each year since she could remember, by June, the tree was covered with hundreds of blooms. It was under the China rose tree that she wanted to bury Joshy's ashes.

By early May, the ground had thawed enough for Lana's father to dig a small hole at the base of the tree where the tiny measure of Joshy's remains were scattered. It was Mother's Day, 1989.

Lana went through emotions that the rest of us can only imagine – feeling separated from the special baby she loved so much and whom she nurtured to a short life beyond the expectations of her doctors. She wanted so much to feel him in her arms again; she wanted to see in his face that it was all right and that he was loved and safe.

At the height of her grief and anguish over Joshy's loss when depression and loneliness were beginning to take over her life, a small miracle happened. She was in her father's back yard, sitting on the ground with some little things of Joshy's spread around her. She looked up and there on the China rose tree was a single white bloom. It was the only bloom that appeared the entire spring. Lana's angel was saying, "It's okay, Mommy. I'm safe, warm and waiting for you."

Last May on the same day – Mother's Day, Lana's ashes were scattered under the same China rose tree, two angels together forever.

The same year Joshy was born, 1988, another angel I know was pregnant with her second child. A sonogram showed it to be a boy and the name David was the first choice for him. Stacy's first child, also a boy, had been a normal pregnancy with a normal and relatively easy delivery. There was no reason to suspect any complications with this pregnancy.

When Stacy was four months into term, she had a dream one night. She dreamed she awoke to see a little boy of about 18 months hovering near her bed. She knew at once that it was her son, David. He smiled at her, a reassuring smile filled with warmth and love.

The next morning, Stacy had a scheduled check-up with her obstetrician. The doctor placed his stethoscope on her stomach and said, "That's strange. I should be able to hear a heartbeat." He immediately sent her for a sonogram.

Sadly, the sonogram revealed the fetus to be lifeless. David died sometime during the previous 24-hours and the doctor removed from him from his mother's body. Although Stacy was devastated, she realized she got to have a moment with her little angel: the only one she was to have in this life. David had come to her in a dream – maybe at the moment of his death – to reassure her he was okay.

Skeptics may wish to argue a coincidence or other happenstance at these incidents. I, for one, would not be drawn into their debate. I knew Lana and I know Stacy. I know what is in their hearts in the wake of the immeasurable loss of a child. I also know that God is good and while He takes away with one hand, He gives with another. It may be only a single bloom or a fragment of a dream, but often, it is enough. And while Lana, Joshy and David are not angels in the biblical sense, they embody the spirit of God's goodness and His gifts that live in the hearts of those who knew them forever.