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the not–so–fine print — home last changed 23 September 2006 |
this is a personal web page, created mostly to fend off boredom... and because i don't feel like keeping all this stuff in my head. i reserve the right to add to, remove from, mutilate, or trash the contents of this site at any time without asking for anyone's permission first or notifying anyone of the grisly details after the fact.
every site on the web is likely to contain material which is inappropriate for children, teenagers, adults, parents, in–laws, and ferengi with small lobes. this site is no exception. deal with it, and enjoy yourself.
i accept no liability for any damage that may occur to your body, mind, or psyche as a result of using a computer, wandering through the internet, viewing material on this site, or banging two empty halves of a coconut together.
i am not culpable for any unfortunate decisions you make which adversely affect your personal, corporate, or imaginary assets. whether or not the inspiration came from material on this site, you made the conscious or unconscious decision to read it and act on it. accordingly, my advice to you is this: bite me.
i am, however, responsible for any good fortune that befalls you at any point in your existence after you read any material on this site, or on any portion of the internet which i have also viewed. send me money. i also accept payment in the form of attractive girls, particularly ones with a french or british accent.
i use some nonstandard fonts on this site, which you should download in order to enjoy optimal viewing conditions. these include, but may not be limited to, the following: Candara, FG Charyn, FG Delany, and Morpheus. many fonts are available, free, at grsites.com.
i will not be held accountable for stuff that appears elsewhere on the internet. if you're bothered by something that i pulled from another site, or if you find something offensive on a site that i link to, i'm not the one you should be yelling at. if you ask me nicely to remove the link to a page that you don't like, i'll think about it. no promises though, because i like some stuff that other people think is offensive. like cold pizza and root beer for breakfast, and cereal right before bed. with whole milk. neener neener.
that being said... if you have issues with anything that appears here, tough luck. Jennifer Love Hewitt is pretty hot.
all text on this site is copyright (that's ©) owned by me 1997–2008, all rights reserved. images created by me are mine, don't be stealing them and pretending to be me or my friends. not that you'd want to be me, but resist the urge anyway. rights to all other images are probably owned by somebody but i don't usually know who. so be respectful.
in some places, i may use names that are copyrighted by someone other than me. like World of Warcraft, for instance. this site is not sponsored by or affiliated with any corporate entity, and use of copyrighted material without specific or repeated references to copyright status shall not be construed as a challenge to their ownership. i recognize that these names, terms, expressions, and epithets are copyrighted. you can sue me if you really want to, but there isn't much to take.
i didn't write the jokes on the jokes pages, with the exceptions of the ones i specifically claim credit for. you probably shouldn't claim any credit for anything on these pages. they're funny, let them be. or suffer unspecified and vaguely frightening consequences.
i did write the stuff on the writing pages. it's mine, don't mess with it. more than being copyrighted, it actually means something to me. i put a lot of time and emotion into it. if you like it, cool. if you wanna put a link to it on your page, i'm flattered. just give credit where it's due. and it would be nice if you emailed me to introduce yourself and let me know what you're up to. thanks.
i wrote this page too, but feel free to copy whatever you like of it. fine print sucks; more people should write legibly.
Geocities is cool. get a page, if you don't already have one. they're free and stuff.
most importantly: girls rule, boys drool. have a cool day.