Having witnessed the loss of many of my pets in the last 20 years of breeding, to old age, and some earlier than expected, I have learned to deal with these
deaths, they are certainly not easy, but I know we crossed paths for a
reason, and will cross paths sometime, somewhere again, but for now I
must move on with whatever crosses my path now, and love what is
presently in my life, but I will never forget the ones in the past.
Now I can smile when I think of many of them for what they gave to
me at the time. Death comes to all living things with time. When we lose a
companion, even for breeders, we must find all the good in the loss,
even though the underlying conditions of the loss were not pleasant.
When we look at what fulfillment and good that was brought into our
life with these companions, we can and MUST then move on to our next
companion for however long they will be with us and enjoy every minute
we share with them.
Whether they be human or canine, there are just no guarantees when the
final day will come. I have learned to do what I can to check lines or
pedigrees for potential early losses, as I do with any potentially life
threatening conditions that may show up in my human family, and try to
do the best I can with the situation, either to prevent it or to treat
it. Prevention in my eyes is always better than cure, however we cannot
prevent what we cannot see or predict. Anything that lives may die at
any moment, and one cannot always point the finger at the breeder, for it is truly as hard on us as it is on the buyer, also knowing that at somepoint we are also the buyers of new breeding stock and would not deliberately pay for unhealthy breeding stock.
The mourning process is the hard part. When we mourn we heal, and with a
little time our strength returns and we are ready to dearly love the next
soul that is drawn to us, to become a part of our life again. Whether it be a single pet, or for a breeder, any one of their breeding
dogs, they are loved and dearly missed............but when they go they
take a part of hearts, ALWAYS leaving a little room for us to love the
next, and they are always around us in spirit.
So when it is time to say goodbye to a best friend, our pet, it is always a topic,
that always sends our stomachs into a feeling that it is a bottomless pit, a
subject that we never think about when we bounce home with that wonderful
companion, and little bundle of wrinkles, so young with so much to live for,
and death a long time off. Funny how we as human beings disregard death
as part of life, and then when faced with it, we really do not know how to
face it. Fact is we all live to die, hopefully at the right time. *So what is
the right time, when or where..* All living things seem to sense when living
is coming to an end and we as their owners, companions etc. have that sense
as well.
As unpleasant as the thought is, or a relief if suffering has been involved, it is always good to think about that thought ahead of time so when the time does come, we try and follow our thoughts through. Death is tragic at any age, and tragedy is always sad for us. But it is a time when that inner strength must surface, and for most of us it does.
Our inner strength will
surface for us and for others facing the same. My outlook on death has
changed drastically over the many years. Being a nurse, brought that to my
doorstep many a time. I believe everything on this planet is here for a reason,
whether it be a bird that sung its song to teach us melody, a hamster that
spun its wheel to make us laugh, a deer that walked majestically through
the forest to make us admire, a snake that slithered to alert us to things
that crawl, people to make us learn who and what we want to be and who
and what we don't want to be, a dog to be *mans best friend* and
companion for their life....to teach us how to be us. We can tell them
everything and anything, they are THERE to keep our secrets, we can cry,
they are THERE to catch our tears, we can yell, they are THERE to hear
us out, we can laugh, they are THERE to enjoy our joy, hugs, kisses,
cuddles, when no one else is THERE to hold us. They are there to take
whatever we have to dish out. Boy it seems to me they are almost as close
to us as our very own soul. Soulmates.... a thought. Souls never die, so
when we think about dying we take our thoughts to ~ ~ where do all these
souls go. I believe the body dies but that wonderful soul .....never dies.
They all go off to places like *Rainbow Bridge* and there they await the
arrival of all the souls they have ever known. So I know when I loose a
close earthly relation, to me they are physically not within our reach, but
are they in soul?... never doubt a will and they soulfully move on to be with
their past parents, their pets, friends..... us when we arrive, and as such,
we will once again meet. I know....... nice thought..............but this is
truly my belief.
When our purpose has been fulfilled here, we move
on...............but the physical letting go is a heart wrencher. Especially
for those left behind. Once in a while, I sit watching my gang , and
thoughts come to my mind when I see something familiar in the way of a
trait I have seen before "could that habit that puppy has be genetic, gosh
his grandfather was the only one that ever did that ????? As time passes,
pain fades and that new puppy you just got................well they say all
things that once lived have the choice of being re-born.......you just never
know. When it is time to say goodbye, my best and only
advise is to BE THERE, hold tight, kiss, hug, cuddle, for it is their time now
and YOU are their strength now, and the last thing they will see and hear
before moving on.
You will know that time, by the look in their weary eyes,
for these eyes have fought the battle of life whether it be long or short
lived one. Many have chosen to have veterinarians come to their home for
the last and final parting of our best friends, and most vets have no
problem doing this. Many also choose to have the dog cremated and the
ashes put in an urn to sit forever with you. This I wish I had thought of,
because going back to my thoughts then, I was too grief stricken to even
think to request it, only months later, I wished I had done this, but again
this is a personal thing, and many may choose a different route. Others will
send the ashes windward over their pets favourite stomping grounds.
Whatever ones preference, these are some of the options. Go with your
guts, 9 out of 10 times they are right. No one can tell anyone when the
time is right to euthanize a pet, it is so hard to make that choice for
them, and so much easier for us to have things we love pass on naturally or
in their sleep, but, it does not usually happen that way. We will always ask
if we did the right thing. It is the right thing to do, when your heart aches
for their pain, and they are no longer the pet you knew. And again stay
close to your breeder, they are there if you need them. Illness is illness,
accidents happen, and death is the final outcome. When the time comes to
say goodbye, and there is nothing more that can be done "do onto others as
you would have them do onto you", and with that, you know you have done it
the only way YOU could, would and the way they would of wanted you to.
You will remember that for the rest of your life.............and if you can
be there, BE THERE, it is their time now.
Many believe, many do not - as I already mentioned I AM A BELIEVER that we all cross over to the other side, the spiritual world, and I am an absolute believer that our pets go too, and are there to meet us when we cross over. Why, How, Where, When, How Do You Know? Why do so many want to know, and with so much proof to answer so many questions, how can one not believe! WHAT DO I CALL PROOF!
Is there really life after death - YOU BET! We are all here to make the world a better place, hopefully, and if we are here to act out our free will, to make the world a worse place, then WE ARE here to teach this world what to watch out for and how to work with the good, and fight back against the bad, and it is called experience.
Pets, the perfect friends, companions, mentors, stress relievers and a total unconditional love givers to humans. Small beings of light that I believe travel to the same place our eternal light travels to once we leave our physical bodies and *cross over*.
If you have ever believed or questioned your belief in *dejevu* *ghosts* *familiarity with a certain era* *the presence of someone who has past* *unexplained phenomena* *out of body experiences* *near death experiences* *the power in the healing of prayer*, then you may have witnessed the proof that so many let go as coincidence.
I love to explore all of these, and have done so for many years. I have visited psychics that told me things that NO ONE COULD OF KNOWN, including the telling that a black dog walks with me always. He was my best friend and the one that taught much about this breed, the chinese shar-pei. He was my loyal mentor and he could read my eyes, as I could his. My readings of many books, have covered yes of course, John Edwards and his most famous show of reuniting people with their dead loved ones and pets, called Crossing Over, plus his many books, but also Sylvia Browns many books on Life on the Other Side, and of course Neale Walsh's conversations with God 1, 2 and 3. INCREDIBLE reading for those that want to know more about this *Life After Death* Eternal Life, and the fact that our pets play as much of a role over there, as they do here.
We must learn to celebrate the passing of life here, with the returning home of life to the other side, where I truly believe we will all meet again. After all we were promised eternal life. If you were ever a doubter of this incredible possibility, try reading the above and see what you think. Knowing you pets and family are always around, is so much more believable to me, after reading the above and the many, many other books written by so many, that I have read with such enthusiasm.
When the time comes, to part with our beloved pets in this lifetime, part knowing, their journey here is finished, and they are now passing on to the next realm to wait, and watch, and yes Rainbow Bridge may actually exist. Your spirit and soul, guide you through this lifetime, and your guts are the best judge of what to do and when. Follow your feeling, that feels best, and know you are making the right decision.
All of the above sheds a little different perspective on the subject of death. The old saying that all
our pets will be waiting at Rainbow Bridge, brings a smile to my face.
My family and myself are very close, and my mother always comes over for
tea always to be greeted by a swarm of shar-pei when she gets in the door.
Many times I joke and I ask what she will do when we all cross over, and
she is greeted with ALL my dogs that I ever owned awaiting my arrival
at Rainbow Bridge..............well I just could not even begin to imagine
tea time......besides I will deal with that celebration then.
My best and final advice to anyone that loses a beloved pet is to take the time to accept the loss, but don't take too long. Take a friend and go visit a
breeder or your breeder and spend a little time with some puppies and
other adult shar-pei, adopt or rescue another. Talk about it, cry about it, reminisce about it......and before you know it, another will have moved into that empty space paving way for yet another hopefully beautiful relationship and
bond with a one-of-a kind breed.
With my final comment and that pending decision of having to put a pet to sleep, I always tell everyone - when your pet is no longer the dog you knew, and you know their pain outways their quality of life and they are no longer enjoying their life, and there is now more pain than not, the time is right, in most cases our guts tell us what to do, and know in your heart you have made the right decision, be there with them to comfort them through their last moments and tell them it is okay for them to go, and you will know, as hard as it is, you have done them right.
For all the ones living - give them lots of hugs.
Treat me kindly, my beloved
master, for no heart in all the world is more
grateful for kindness than
the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with
a stick, for though I should lick your hand
between the blows, your
patience and understanding will more quickly
teach me the things you
would have me do.
Speak to me often, for your
voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the
fierce wagging of my tail when your
footsteps falls upon my
waiting ear.
When it is cold and wet,
please take me inside, for I am now a
domesticated animal, no
longer used to bitter elements.
And I ask no greater glory
than the privilege of sitting at your
feet beside the hearth.
Though had you no home, I
would rather follow you through ice and
snow than rest upon the
softest pillow in the warmest home in all
the land, for you are my god
and I am your devoted worshiper.
Keep my pan filled with
fresh water, for although I should not reproach
you were it dry, I cannot
tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food, that I
may stay well, to romp and play and do
your bidding, to walk by
your side, and stand ready, willing and able
to protect you with my life
should your life be in danger.
And, beloved master, should
the great Master see fit to deprive me of
my health or sight, do not
turn me away from you.
Rather hold me gently in
your arms as skilled hands grant me the
merciful boon of eternal
rest -- and I will leave you knowing with the
last breath I drew, my fate
was ever safest in your hands.
By Beth Norman Harris
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of Shar-Pei Canadiana.
Web Site opened October 25, 1997. Web page designed by Vicky McBeth.
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Last Updated January 2009.