Newswire - HOUSTON, TX: Investigation Yields Clues to Collision

Since the mid-space collision with the Russian space station, there has been an intensive investigation by both the Soviet and U.S. Space Agencies. After weeks of inquiry, finger-pointing and political jockeying, it appears that the cause of the mysterious accident, which placed the space station and its residents in jeopardy, has finally been determined.

In terse statements at a recent press conference, Russian and U.S. Space Agency spokespersons said Thursday, "We have concluded joint investigations concerning this potentially tragic accident, and each agency separately arrived at the same conclusion regarding cause of this incident, which was primarily due to one problem:

"OBJECTS IN MIR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR."

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