Why did the baby cat join the red cross?
It wanted to be a first aid Kit.
What do you call a cat that has swallowed a duck?
A duck filled fatty puss.
What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
1st Woman: My cat thinks it's a chicken.
2nd Woman: Why don't you take it to the vet?
1st Woman: We need the eggs.
What does a cat use to cross the road?
A purrdestrian crossing.
What did the cat who had no money say?
I'm Paw.
What type of cat has eight legs and loves swimming?
An Octo-Puss.
What happened when the cat swallowed a one pound coin?
There was money in the kitty.
What do you call a cat that travels by train?
A com-Mew-ter.
Customer: Do you sell cats meat?
Butcher: Yes, as long as they are accompanied by a human being.
A black and white cat crossed my path this morning, and since then my luck has been patchy.
Billy: I've lost my cat.
Johnny: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper.
Billy: Don't be daft, he can't read.
What pantomime is about a cat in a chemist shop?
Puss in Boots.
Sam: I wish i had enough money to buy a pedigree cat.
Bill: Why do you want a pedigree cat?
Sam: I don't - I just wish i had that much money.
Pete: Have you ever seen a catfish?
Paul: Yes, I have.
Pete: How did it hold the rod?
What did the cat rest its head on when it went to sleep?
A Cat-er-pillar.
Detective: I am on the trail of a cat burglar.
Sergent: How do you know it's a cat burglar?
Detective: All it stole was a saucer and a pint of milk.
What do you give a cat that has everything?
A wide berth.
