May 30th

 Now this is a state that knows how to live!!  Beautiful sunny days and
 warm balmy evenings.  Mountains and deserts blended together. What a place!
 Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful.
 I've finally found my home.  I love it here.
 
 

 June 14th

 Really heating up.  Got to 100 today.  Not a problem.  Live in an
 air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.  What a pleasure to see
 the sun every day like this.  I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
 

 June 30th

 Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
 and rocks.  What a breeze to maintain.  No more mowing for me. Another
 scorcher today, but I love it here.
 

 July 10th

 The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week.  How do people get used
 to this kind of heat?  At least it's a dry heat.  Getting used to it is
 taking longer than I expected.
 

 July 15th

 Fell asleep by the pool.  (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body.)
 Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do.  I learned my lesson though:
 got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
 

 July 20th

 I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
 By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of
 a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery.
 I told the kids she ran away.  The car now smells like Kibbles and s--t.
 No more pets in this heat!
 

 July 27th
 Dry heat, my butt.  Hot is hot!!  The home air-conditioner is on the fritz
 and AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
 order parts.
 

 July 30th

Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,100 monthly
in damn house payments and we can't even go inside.  Why did I ever come
here?
 

 Aug 4th

 115 degrees.  Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today.  It cost $500
 and gets the temperature down to about 90.  Stupid repairman peed in my
 pool. I hate this state.
 

 Aug 8th

 If another wise acre cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to
 tear his  throat out.  Damn heat.  By the time I get to work the radiator
 is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like roasted
 Garfield!!
 

 Aug 10th

 The weather report might as well be a damn recording: Hot and Sunny.
 It's been too hot to make love for two damn months and the weatherman says
 it might really warm up next week.  Doesn't it ever rain in this barren damn
 desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus
 just dried up and blew into the pool.  Even a cactus can't live in this heat!!
 

  Aug 14th

  Welcome to Hell!!!  Temperature got to 123 today.  Forgot to crack the
 window and the heat blew the window out of the Lincoln.  The installer
 came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"  My wife had to
 spend the $1,100 house payment to bail me out of jail.
 

  Aug 30th

  Worst damn day of the summer.  I'm not leaving the house.  The monsoon
  rains finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than hell.
  The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in Mexico with it's new $500
  windshield.
 

  That does it, we're moving to New York for some peace and quiet!