How to apply for a Lap Angel job
This is a story about cat heaven and how you, even being a human, can get there. It's a great place and I'm here since June, 23th, 2003, just two days before my 13th birthday on Earth. |
As all cats none is more self confident than me... | But sometimes... | and then I hear that same old story... |
Zuca, I must explain was the cat who lived here before me.He was rescued when he fell from the roof he was born on when he was barely a 3 week old kitty. He lived here for many years and had a good time. Besides being of no particular breed, I have to put up with hearing all the time that he was a perfect gentlecat, from whiskers to tail tip and that he never did any of the mischief that I do. |
I got an idea ! - knowing my humans so well he certainly could
pass me some of his useful tips and tricks ! |
When humans want to communicate they have to use phones, e-mails, letters, walk or travel a lot, learn languages, etc... Even so they are unable to reach the easiest of other dimensions. We cats are provided with an ultra sensitive whisker radar which can work anywhere. Those clumsy human inventions look like stone age devices in comparison ! Effortlessly and instantaneously we can reach any place, be it an human mind or cat heaven. |
and almost immediately... |
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As there are humans reading I'll not tell you the tips I learned - you can contact me later by whiskers ! But especially for you, cat loving human, I'll explain something about cat heaven and the only kind of job that's available there for you: a Lap Angel ! |
Unlike other kind of heavens, cat heaven isn't a dull place where there is nothing to do except play the harp. There are furniture and carpets to scratch on, curtains to be climbed, doors to be opened and much more. Most importantly, there are special human Lap Angels, and, if you are considering to apply for this job in the far future, you must take care to build a very good record now because requirements are very strict. |
1- You must have a good lap ! Long term and intensive training is essential. |
2 - Whenever someone scratches on, breaks, or destroys something you must say, just to make it more exciting - without any expectation of being obeyed ! |
3 - When someone mews at a closed door that actually leads nowhere and could be easily by-passed,
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it is your task to open it quickly and wait paciently until you
can close it again. |
4 - You have to praise cats all the time, both to other Lap
Angels... |
5 - as well as to others less interested... |
Photos & Info |
My Cartoon Illustrated Stories. |
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