Mrs. Dooker's Recipe File

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Know Your Critter

Recipe for grilling season
First Posted in October, 1997

THE FLAMING OF THE SHREW

INGREDIENTS

Natural Hunting Instinct
Backyard
Human to let you out into the backyard
(omit if doggy door available)
Awesome ability to locate prey
(I am excellent at this - even though I don't know what the word prey means)
Local environmental conditions favorable to shrew population
Uncontrollable desire to dig anywhere there is some movement
(even with a fresh manicure)
Shrew that was stupid enough to burrow beneath bushes by backyard terrace
(a necessary ingredient)
Teeth
Garlic
Red Onions
Assorted Wild Mushrooms
Parsley
Sage
Rosemary
Thyme
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Hamburger Patties (a necessary backup if you have neither the impulse control to refrain from eating the shrew the moment you catch it and realize just what you have done or a human close by who quickly pulls the catch out of your mouth before you figure out that you can eat it : usually under 3 seconds)
Pam Cooking Spray
Peppered Duck Pâté (this is not a part of the recipe but everyone should have some peppered duck paté every once in a while)
A Hot Grill

METHOD
Bark to go outside  
(If doggy door available just go outside)
Locate prey (the shrew)
Dig, dig, dig
Dig some more
Hear the shrew shriek and dig even more
Catch shrew
(use teeth - they are much less clumsy than paws)
Shake your head violently from side to side
(do this because you have no idea what is in your mouth - it is the prey - there's that word again - and you want to let go but somehow your instinct won't let you unclamp your teeth)
Disembowel the shrew 
(if the violent shaking hasn't already done so)
Run away and bury the innards to eat later before the human sees them and does something unspeakable with them 
(like throw them away- eeeeeeeeek)
Skin Shrew
Chop onion
Clean and slice mushrooms
Mix together equal parts of the sage, rosemary and thyme
Rub shrew all over with lots of fresh garlic and a tiny bit of olive oil
Mix onions, mushrooms and herbs and stuff shrew with them
Spray grill surface with Pam (keeps the shrew from sticking)
Roast Shrew away from direct heat until the juices run clear

Serving SuggestionsHave you had any peppered duck pate recently?
  • Shrew is complemented nicely with a salad consisting of wild baby greens and fresh raspberries.
  • Roast red potatoes would also add a nice touch as would wild rice.
  • Might I also suggest a mélange of baby vegetables, lightly sautéed with a touch of butter and a splash of a fine white wine.
  • I will not be so bold as to suggest any particular wine for the meal. You have your favorites.
  • Don't forget the peppered duck pâté!

I'LL POST ANOTHER RECIPE AS TIME PERMITS. RIGHT NOW I AM VERY BUSY TRAINING FOR SETTING A RECORD IN GUINNESS. I AM GOING FOR THE MOST CONSECUTIVE NAPS. I THINK I'LL DO WELL. NAPPING IS ONE OF MY MANY SPECIALTIES.

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