WHAT STATE MOTTOS SHOULD BE

What State Mottos Should Be:

Alabama: At Least We're Not in Mississippi!

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: Dehyd-rific

Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everythang

California: As Seen On TV

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Exremism

Hawaii: Haki Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Skum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well, Okay, We're Not, But the Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Gateway to Iowa

Indiana: Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk

Kansas: First of the Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: Cheap Lobster

Maryland: A Thinking Man's Deleware

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians

Minnesota: For Sale

Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

Montana: Land of Big Sky, The Unabomber, and Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask Us About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker

New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone!

New Jersey: You Want a @#$%*& Motto? I Got Yer @#$%*& Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney

North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable

North Dakota: Um...We've Got...Um...Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!

Ohio: Don't Judge Us By Cleveland

Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook with Coal

Rhode Island: We're not REALLY an Island

South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Se Hablo Ingles

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun by Nerds and Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family--Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese

Wyoming: Wynot?

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