What State Mottos Should Be:
Alabama: At Least We're Not in Mississippi!
Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona: Dehyd-rific
Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everythang
California: As Seen On TV
Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Exremism
Hawaii: Haki Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death to Mainland Skum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes...Well, Okay, We're Not, But the Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Gateway to Iowa
Indiana: Two Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk
Kansas: First of the Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: Cheap Lobster
Maryland: A Thinking Man's Deleware
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota: For Sale
Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana: Land of Big Sky, The Unabomber, and Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask Us About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker
New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone!
New Jersey: You Want a @#$%*& Motto? I Got Yer @#$%*& Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney
North Carolina: Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota: Um...We've Got...Um...Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!
Ohio: Don't Judge Us By Cleveland
Oklahoma: Like the Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl, It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook with Coal
Rhode Island: We're not REALLY an Island
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Se Hablo Ingles
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington: Help! We're Overrun by Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family--Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming: Wynot?
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