Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on.
Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, as they need to hold a debate into whether or not the lightbulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the lightbulb they may not go ahead and change it for fear of alienating those who use fluorescent tubes.
Q: How many Catholics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. They always use candles instead.
Q: How many Atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: None. Atheists don't believe in light bulbs.
A2: One. But they are still in darkness.
Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 10, one to change it and 9 others to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Q:How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
A:10. One to actually change the bulb and 9 to say how much they like the old one.
Q:How many members of the church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?
A:5. One to change the bulb, 4 to serve refreshments.
Q:How many charismatics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A:Three, one to cast it out and two to catch it when it falls!
Q:How many missionaries does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One, and thirty natives to see the light.
Q. How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Three, but they're really one.
Q. How many Hare Krishnas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Ten, one to do it and the rest to dance around, play the tambourine, chant, and sing.
Q. How many fundamentalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. THE BIBLE DOES *NOT* SAY *ANYTHING* ABOUT LIGHT BULBS!!!!
Q. How many Branch Davidians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. None, they provide their own illumination.
Q. How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, one to screw it in and one not to screw it in.
Q: How many pro-choicers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two, one to do it and one to assert that the bulb didn't exist before it was lit up.
Q: How many pro-lifers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Nine - four to block the entrance to the room, four to hold up pictures of burnt-out bulbs, and one to try and convince the person with the new bulb to let the room stay dark.
