Cat Manners
pURRSONAL hYGIENE
1. Never ever use a cat litter box that has been used by another cat.
That's what the bathtub is for!!
2. Use the litter box the very second your pet human cleans it.
this compliments them on the great job they've done.
3. always roll around in the dirt as soon as your human finishes giving you a bath.
you were nice and clean before they poured that bubbly stuff on you.
4. Don't let your human brush you. ever!!
it musses up your fur, so that you have to groom all over again.
Dinning
Take it back! I ordered Prime Rib!!
1. Sample your pet human's food
After all you do for them, why shouldn't they share their food with you?
2. If you don't want it, don't eat it.
So what if you've only wanted tuna for the past four months and your human has stocked five shelves full?
3. Alwyas play with your food.
Live food is teh feline version of interactive games
Roommates
Don't even think about it!!
1. What's your is yours and what's their's is yours
Hey it's only fair!!
2. Steal his food when he isn't looking
He doesn't need that much anyway.
3. Tackle him if he even so much as glances at your toys
If he wants to play that bad he can go outside...
better yet, in the street!!
4. Every time your human is petting him squeeze between them, pushing him out of the way.
Why should he get the attention that you deserve?
5. Be more patient with kittens.
They are just babies. Once they get older then you can get your revenge on every annoyance they've caussed you since birth.
6. YOU are the boss!!
The other cat might think he is the boss, he might even act like the boss, but YOU are the boss... he's just detusional.
Human Tips
It takes years of dedication and practice to get this darn cute!
1. If you do something that really upsets your human act cute!!
You may feel silly but, humans go crazy over the cute stuff and it becomes hard for them to stay mad at you. What can I say.. simple mind..simple pleasures.
2. Sharpen your claws on the furniture.
They bought me a scratching post and expect me to use it? I don't destroy gifts. I'll just make do with the couch.
3. Humans get mad when there are hairballs on the floor.
So stach them in more concealed places...like slippers.
4. Don't come when your human calls you.
Why inconvenience yourself? If he wants you that bad, he can come to you.
gatos@catlover.com