Ugly
Everyone
in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly
was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this
world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say,
love. The combination of these things along with a life
spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he
had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a
gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side,
his left foot must have been broken badly at one time, and had
healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always
turning the corner
His tail
had long been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he
would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a
dark tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head,
neck, even his shoulders with thick yellowing scabs. Every
time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's
one Ugly cat!" All the children were warned not to
touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down,
squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, even shut his
paws in the door when he would not leave. 
Ugly always responded the same way to the abuse. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would run up to them meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.
One day Ugly shared his love
with the neighbors Husky. The dog didn't respond kindly,
and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear
his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I
arrived he was laying motionless, and I could tell Ugly's sad
life was almost at an end.
Ugly lay
in a wet circle of his own blood, his back legs and lower back
twisted grossly out of shape, with a gaping tear in the white
strip of fur on his chest. As I picked him up and tried to carry
him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel
his struggles. I must be hurting him I thought. Then
I felt a familiar tugging, a sensation on my ear.
Ugly in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to
suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the
palm of my hand with his head, then turned his one golden eye
towards me, and I could hear the distant sound of purring.
Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battle scarred cat was
asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.
At that moment as I look upon
Ugly, I thought him to be the most beautiful, loving creature I
had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me,
struggle or try to get away. Ugly just looked up completely
trusting me to relieve his pain.
Ugly
died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him
for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred,
deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it
means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and
truly.
Ugly
taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books,
lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will
always be thankful. He had been scarred on the outside, but
I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on
and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total
self to those I cared for.
Many
people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, but for
me, I will always try to be Ugly.
Who was there when you
died,pretty one? Who was there when you left this place? Who was
there to say goodbye,pretty one? Who was there to rain tears on
your face? Were you hurt and in pain,pretty one? Were you hungry
and cold and alone? Were you sick and afraid,pretty one? Were you
just too tired to go on? Somebody loves you,pretty one, Though
you may not have seen her this time. Someone will hold you,pretty
one, When your trials in this life are behind. Head straight for
the Bridge,pretty one. Run swift,and run straight and you'll see.
There is food,there is sun,pretty one. There is nothing and no
one to fear. And there's also,for you,my pretty one, The love
that you never felt here. They are waiting for you,my pretty one.
And I'll follow,to hold you,my dear. Go to sleep,pretty one,and
forget. Forget the horrible life humankind has dealt you. And
awake to renewal,and contentment,and joy. Stretch in the
sun,pretty one!
