Chapter Three
On June 25th, Fred drove to Calgary towing his trailer and all he could carry. We didn’t know where we were going. We didn’t care. All we knew was that we were finally going to be together and that we were going to be poor.
*** *** I picked up Suz and what personal things she had gotten from her house. We had no idea where we would spend our time, or what we would do or where we would go. That first night we spent at a Motel Campground in Calgary just off the Trans-Canada Hwy. We were both tired. We talked a bit about where we could camp and decided to go to Millarville the next day. We had been there once before and had spent the night in the van. ***
On the first night at the Millarville Racetrack and Campground we drank champagne and celebrated our finally being together and our vow to be together till the end. It had taken both of us all our lives to finally find each other. Perhaps, our loneliness and pain was necessary for us to become the people that we were and are. I think it was our destiny since birth that we should find each other. We are true soul-mates. I know it sounds corny, but it’s true. We are that and more to each other.
*** ***What a feeling it was to finally be with Suz. Knowing that a new life for both of us was just beginning. It wasn’t going to be all roses though. BUT one thing was very evident. I no longer felt alone. I felt connected to Suz. We felt connected to one another. For example I would light a cigarette and hand it to her just as she was thinking of doing it. Soul-mates??? YOU BET !!!***
The next two months were like heaven. We had found a very nice little campground that to our amazement was FREE. It was situated near a small town about 40 miles from Calgary. The campground served a race-track that was used on weekends for different horse events and on Saturday mornings for a farmers market. The only time there were ever other campers around was on weekends when there were events. During the rest of the week we were all alone. There were large trees bordering each huge camp-site. A few hundred steps away was a shower and flush-toilet house, and even a pay-phone. We were in heaven.
*** *** Those hot summer days and cool nights in July and August at the Millarville Campsite were wonderful. The trailer was cozy. When it got too cool at nights I lighted up the furnace. We even had hot water. On Saturday mornings we would rise, wash up and go to the farmers market held on-site. We would go around the different display tables sampling foods, to the point where we seldom had to cook our own breakfasts on Saturday. We would get a coffee find a table and watch and listen to different entertainers that were always there on Saturdays. When we had enough money I would buy us breakfast at one of the kiosks. At night we would lay together under an open window listening to the wind in the trees and the hoot of a Great Horned Owl who serenaded us each night. Life was good.***
The money was tight, but we seemed not to mind at all, at least I didn’t. Fred kept saying how he wished he could give me more. I didn’t need more than the love he gave me. How could I not be happy with Fred lulling me to sleep every night rubbing my back? How could I not love him and be happy when he praised every thing I did? He noticed every little thing about me, every mole on my body, every hair on my head. How could I not be happy.
*** ***Money was tight. I had my pension checks coming in but was still paying the mortgage on the house .As well my wife had applied for a loan sometime before the breakup and I was a co-signer so I had payments to make here also. That only left a few hundred dollars to live on for a month. We made it though. Suz is very frugal and a terrific cook. She introduced me to many Hungarian dishes which I thoroughly enjoyed.***
We would go on drives around the area, discovering new things, watching the birds in the area ( Fred taught me all about birds), fishing close by streams and lakes. During the days we would enjoy the sun, sit outside solving the crossword puzzles Fred taught me to do, or we would play lawn darts, sun bathe, clean the trailer, wash clothes by hand. We wittled our own walking sticks from limbs Fred cut from willow trees. On one of our walks we discovered a nice big swimming hole in the creek that flowed next to the campground. It was really a marvel that such a shallow, narrow creek could have such a deep swimming hole. On hot days we would go down and swim to cool off. The whole time we were camping there we had only two occasions when someone invaded OUR swimming hole. We didn’t mind, we were leaving anyway.
About a month after we moved in to our camp-site, we decided we needed to be in closer touch with the outside world and with my family, so we got a cell phone. Up till then all we had was the pay-phone at the race-track, and it wouldn’t accept in-coming calls.
Some days we would go into the small town close by and do some shopping in the little store. What a treasure we found in a special freezer. They were selling slightly discolored but good meat for less than half price. We ate like kings! I loved to cook for Fred, he loved to eat my cooking. We got along just great.
In the evenings we would go for a shower in the shower house, play cards, listen to the radio, and read to each other. We didn’t miss the computer, or TV or other people. Life was good.
Soon after our arrival at camp we started taking turns drawing pictures of memorable events of each day in a calendar. What wonderful memories and feelings that calendar brings forth every time I look at it. I only wish we had started it on our first days together.
If you want to take a peek at our calendars click here.
I remember one day in particular. It was very near the end of the month and we were down to the change we had in the van console. It amounted to about 10-12 dollars. Poor Fred was so upset that that was all he had to offer me, a life of counting change. Dear Fred, if change was all that we ever have I would still be happier than I ever thought was possible.
In August we started thinking about a permanent place to live. We couldn’t camp here forever, not during the winter anyway. We were looking through the paper one day for a job for me actually, when an ad popped out from the rest. They were looking for resident managers for apartment buildings. Fred and I decided to apply. The next day we got a call back on the cell that we were accepted and we could move into our new home on August 22nd. To put it mildly, we were elated. We would get free rent and even a bonus for rented suites. With Fred’s pension we could live comfortably. When we viewed our new home we were further surprised to see that the apartment was lovely, large and had good tenants. The buildings were nice also, interesting architecture and large shade trees all around. Who could ask for more?
When we first moved in all the furniture we had was what we could use out of the trailer. … a camping folding table, lawn chairs, a tiny portable TV, two layers of mattresses on the floor to sleep on, and camping pots and pans and a few dishes, etc. we were in heaven again.
In September my husband finally decided to let me have my own furniture. This was all stuff I had had before he and I got married. The sofa and love-seat I had recovered myself years before, also the dining room chairs. I got all my good china, my crystal, my personal ornaments. We had to buy our own bed and some other things, but now we have everything we would ever want. When I do the dusting I realize we have MORE than we need!!!!
*** ***After moving into the apartment we took a trip to Edmonton to see Suz’s son who had recently moved there from Victoria. It was during this trip that I saw a lawyer and signed over the house to my wife. NOW she could pay the mortgage. We now had a few more dollars to live on. Life was starting to be good to us. Not that it wasn’t before. ***
Life is good to us now. Fred and I are happy and even more in love than before. We just celebrated our first anniversary. We have so many more to look forward to.
*** *** One year we have been together. It does not seem that long. The time has passed so quickly. Our first Christmas and New Years in our own apartment. Our own little live Christmas Tree. Still growing on the balcony. Hopefully it will be with us for a good many years.***
If someone would ask me if I would do everything the same given the chance…. I would answer a resounding YES!!! If my life had not been what it was, when it was, how it was, Fred and I would never have met. I would not give this man up for all the tea in China, or all the gold on earth. WE do plan to marry, well sort of. A long time ago Fred asked me a question. "IF you and I were not married, would you marry me?" I don’t think I hesitated for one moment. I replied, "yes". BUT I also said that when the time was right he would have to get down on his knees and propose to me properly.
*** ***Yes, I have asked her to marry me, but I must ask her on bended knee. I will my darling, gladly. Know that I love you with every fibre of my being, forever and after.***
It has been a year that both he and I are separated from our spouses. Legally we can have a ‘No Fault Divorce’, and that would not cost much and can even be done without lawyers. Since both Fred and I have given up all rights to any matrimonial property there shouldn’t be any problems. You may ask why we would give up all material possessions and rights to anything, I have to say, that I would have given up anything to be with my Fred. Anything to be free of the sham marriage I was in.
*** ***What are material possessions? They cannot console you when you are sad, they cannot make you laugh, they cannot hold you, they cannot love you back. I would do it all over again for Suz. This woman who has brought light and love into my life.***
Fred and I are happy and together and our future is secure. I’m still lulled to sleep every night with his big gentle hands rubbing my back and stroking my hair. What else could you ask for?
This is not the END, only the beginning!
ADDENDUM
It seems everything had fallen into place in our lives.
My family has accepted Fred as my partner, they actually like him! My parents have listened to me and come to the conclusion that it was a good thing I left my husband… my children already knew that, they encouraged it a long time ago. My health has been pretty good the last couple of months and I have been working again. It sure feels good to bring some money into the relationship, I don’t feel like such a burden.
Fred’s family has also been very supportive of him and us. He has even gotten in touch with a long lost brother, and maybe a second one as well.
Life continues to be wonderful.
It is now October 13th, 1998. Fred and I are still very happy and getting to know more and more about each other. Life is such an adventure!
We have joined a square dance club and Fred is learning things from scratch. I've been a square dancer for many years and love it so. Because my EX is still with our old club we couldn't go there, so we joined the The RockyView Ramblers that makes it's home in Airdrie, just outside Calgary. I know that in the future we will dance at the same function, and believe me when I say I am NOT looking forward to that, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
I didn't mention before that Fred and I have a dog. His name Is Beau and he's a red poodle. He is so smart and he's starting now to settle down and become a gentle "teen" at one year of age. He is the light of our lives.
Early this fall Fred and I took a holiday to Osoyoos, which is Canada's only pocket dessert. We camped right on the sandy beach. The weather was HOT but we were close to the water so took a dip several times a day to stay cool. It was a wonderful time and we plan to go back again next year.
We're still managing the apartment complex and quite enjoy it. We are on duty 15 days out of the month, so on those days we stay at home. On our days off we like to ramble around the city, taking drives, going for walks and to parks and we love to go out for dinner. Neither one of us is too much into going to movies so we rent to odd one and watch it at home. Fred is really into doing jigsaw puzzles on the computer. He's added some really difficult pictures that he took himself just for this purpose. We keep a log of each puzzle we do and how long it took us. We're in real competition here. Fred seems to be the master. I, on the other hand, am the whiz at DxBall, a game of skill... hehehehehe!
I guess that's it for now, I'll be adding more as life rolls on.
Life is still good!
April 27th, 2000.
In just two months we will have been together for FOUR years. Four wonderful years. Our love for each other hasn't lessened one bit. It has changed though. It's more comfortable and sure. We know each other's likes and dislikes and try to do what pleases each other.
I've become a bit more assertive with my dear Fred and I think he likes that. Fred's got a bit of a temper (that he's learned to tone down a bit) and I used to shake when he got angry. Now, I just shrug it off, knowing that in less than one minute he's sorry for his outburst. Sometimes I even mouth off at him. That's all part of a healthy relationship. We don't bottle up our feelings.
In January of this year Fred had a serious gallbladder surgery. It had gotten so bad before the surgery that even his blood was infected. After the operation I almost lost him one night. He was very ill and heavily drugged and the doctors had OK'd him to eat. Well, eating wasn't in the cards for hi yet so he was vomiting heavily. Late one night, while I was there and his curtains were closed, he had a vomiting fit. When I turned to get his bucket he passed out. I turned and saw his eyes were rolled back in his head and he was convulsing. I was never so scared in my life. I yelled "HELP" and nurses came running. They put a tube down his throat and the problem cleared itself. Luckily Fred doesn't remember a thing.
It's frightening to think that if I hadn't been there Fred might very well have died.
Very scary thought.
Fred's all better now. And I cherish every moment with him.
As for myself... In October or '99 I started a diet. No, a way of life. It's Dr. Atkins low carbohydrate, high protein way of eating. It has literally saved my life. Not only have I lost 54 pounds as of today, I've also gotten rid of most of my FMS symptoms. Now, that's a bonus I never expected when I started the diet. I'm now able to walk without the cane I had been having to use in the last while and I sleep better and move better and I have virtually NO pain. Even if I never loose another pound I will always eat this way. And you know what? It's easy.
So, you see, my friends, life is good to us.
Last October Fred and I went to see my daughter in California. It was a great trip. We drove all the way and it took us over 30 hours of driving to get there.
This summers travel plans are to drive East. We'll be visiting friends and family along the way. I can hardly wait! I love traveling with my love. He's such a good driver that I can easily fall asleep, knowing full well that I am safe.
On our Anniversay this year I'm planning something special for my Fred. I can't say here because he may see it, but I'll be sure to let you all know after it happens.
I guess that's it for now. I promise to keep adding to this on a more regular basis. It's great for us to go back and read our history sometimes. There have been times when I've come into the office and seen Fred with tears in his eyes, reading the past pages. We've come such a long way since we first started chatting. And have so much farther to go in life's long, but wonderful journey.
Be well!
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