Lesson Eleven

WHAT, HOWEVER, IS GOD'S NORM FOR MANKIND WITHIN RELATIONSHIPS?

The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.

We saw in last week's lesson the perfect Unity of the Trinity. We noted their humility in submitting to one another. We saw their perfect communication with one another. Then we saw how that positionally we have these same characterisitics as children of God. Christ prayed that we might have the same unity as exhibited by the Trinity..."they (believers) may be one, just as We are one; I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity."John 17:22,23.

What then is God's norm for mankind within relationships? The answer to this question is that we should be like and act like the Lord Jesus Christ. In salvation we have positionallybeen granted these things. "Then why do I still see some of the same old characteristics of fallen man being played out in my own life?" you may ask yourself.

In order for us to experience this perfect unity that we desire in our relationship (and Godcalls us to have), we need to make a conscious change in our attitudes and actions. Instead of asking, "What will it do for me?" or "what will I get out of it?" or "How will it meet my needs?", we should be asking, "How can I glorify God?" or "How can I walk in a manner pleasing to God enjoying Him?" Paul said in II Corinthains 5:9 that it was his desire in all his labor "to be accepted of(pleasing to) Him." Philipppians 1:21 "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." Paul's whole life wasbound up with Christ.

We find it natural to exalt ourselves, but God will not share His glory with another. Thereare many instances in the Bible showing the folly of exalting self. One example is of King Belshazzar. God saw how Belshazzar had sought to exalt himself against the Lord ofHeaven. God determined to overthrow his kingdom and kill Belshazzar. Do you think the sin of these Old Testament characters is any greater than our own sin when we seek vain glory? We have been saved not to be "conformed to this world"(Romans 12:2) but "to be conformed to the image of His Son" (Romans 8:29).

Our living only for ourselves results in our destroying relationships. God wants us to stop living for ourselves and start living for Him. II Corinthians 5:15 tells us to no longer live for ourselves, but for Him who died and rose again on our behalf. Living only for yourself will leave you feeling unfulfilled and empty. What if you are willing to work on building the relationship that God wants you to have but your husband is not? Perhaps he is unwilling to communicate or is cruel to you. Perhaps the more you seek to live Godly, he seeks to put stumbling blocks in your way. If you respond in a godly manner, you will be exhibiting God's characteristics in your life and suffering for righteousness sake. God will take care of you and meet your needs.

To have a normal relationship with your husband, you must first become like the Lord Jesus Christ. You must think and act like Christ. This will change your motivation from "What can I get out of this?" To, "What can I give?" You should expect no thanks or recognition. What you are doing is only what is owed to God. Jesus said, "So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, 'We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.'" Luke 17:10

When you give of yourself to your husband, you should not think of it as going above and beyond the call of duty. You ought to be kind, open, transparent, and honest with him. If you struggle with this openness and honesty it is because sinful man:

.....seeks to be isolated.
.....seeks to be in contol.
.....seeks to hide or cover up from hurt/pain.
.....seeks to be self-protective
.....tends to be self-focused.

Mrs. Peace says on page 32, "Because our natural tendency is to "self," it is important to be daily in God's word which is "living and active" and "able to judge the thoughts and intentions of(your) heart" (Hebrews 4:12, adaptation added). The Holy Spirit will use the Holy Word ofGod to convict you at your deepest level so that your motivation in your relationship with your husband may be for the glory of God instead of self."

God wants you to have a relationship with your husband that consists of communication inlove and righteous intimacy in sharing your thoughts, present and future desires, aspirations,goals, struggles, and spiritual insights. You need to be open, honest, and transparent. Mrs. Peace further exhorts us on page 32 that,"Your words are to be edifying. Your tasks sacrificial. Your motive for the glory of God. Remember that your pattern for oneness is the Trinity. He wants you to be not only like Jesus, but He also wants you to help your husband become as much like Jesus as possible. Your becoming more and more like Jesus is the process of progressive sanctification. You and your Christian husband helping each other become more like Jesus is the process of mutual sanctification."

Next week we will start studying sanctification and mutual sanctification.
Let us ask Godthis week in light of our lesson to "Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and knowmy thoughts; And see if there by any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139: 23,24

Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp 27-32.Copyright 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.

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