Lesson Twelve - The Excellent Wife

The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.

Used by permission.

Lesson Twelve
September 13 - 19
Chapter Five

A WIFE'S UNDERSTANDING OF MARRIAGE

Mrs. Peace starts this chapter by telling us of a high school reunion she attended. There she renewed her acquaintance with one of her classmates. He told her how the school counselor had told him he would never be accepted into a prestigious engineering school in their town and if he did get accepted into the school, he would never graduate. The man, however, proved the counselor wrong. He not only was accepted but graduated four years later and 30 years later is still reaping the benefits of pursuing his goal.

In our previous lesson we have learned about the Trinity as our example of perfect oneness. Now we are going to learn how the husband and wife are to minister to each other (mutual sanctification) through pursuing God's purpose or goal for marriage.

God's Goal for Marriage
The goal for the Christian husband and wife is to have oneness. This is characterized by a loving spiritual and physical bond that seeks to glorify God and results in enhanced personal spiritual growth.
(Genesis 2:24; Ephesian 5:22-33; Galations 6:1; Hebrews 13:4)
This oneness and spiritual growth will be achieved as each partner strives to help the other become more like Christ. This will only come about by the couple committing to this goal and diligently pursing it. As the couple draws closer together, changes will take place in how they act and react to each other. The wife, for example,will stop being harsh and sarcastic but instead respond with kindness and tenderness. This will promote oneness in the marriage but also glorify God by obeying His Word. Achieving the goal for oneness will not come through quick,instant means but requires committment, perseverance, diligence, and the graceof God.
Mrs. Peace gives us four specific means by which that goal may be obtained:

Biblical Means To Achieve The Goal Of Oneness And Spiritual Growth

1. Make your marriage a matter of faithful prayer.
2. Commit to a biblical course of action.
3. Take personal responsibility for your own failure & repent.
4. Submit to and participate in the process of "mutual sanctification."

#1 and #2 -- Faithfully Pray And Commit To A Biblical Plan Of Action
You should start regularly and faithfully praying that your marriage will glorify and please God. Humble yourself before God. Confess your weaknesses and sin. Be specific in naming those things you need help in. Ask God to change you then base your actions upon the Word of God.

#3 -- Take Personal Responsibility For Your Own Failure And Repent
You begin by asking God to show you the sin in your life. In Matthew 7:3-5, the Lord Jesus teaches that one must examine themselves to get the sin out of their own life before pointing someone else's sin out to them. You must make sure your life is in order before you can see clearly enough to confront your husband with the sin in his life. Humbly ask God to show you your sin.

How God Shows You Your Sin

1. By convicting you when you read or hear God's Word.
(Hebrews 4:12)
2. By having someone tell you. (Proverbs 27:5,6; Ephesians 5:25)
When this faithful friend helps you to see a sin problem in your life, you should respond with a grateful heart, confessing the sin and turning awayfrom it. It is never pleasant to have our fault pointed out to us, but when we respond in an angry or defensive way, we are just adding to our sin. To begin the practical working out of mutual sanctification, we have to first remove the sin from ourown lives.

#4 -- Submit To And Participate In The Process Of Mutual Sanctification

On page 36 Mrs. Peace defines Mutual sanctification as;"Mutual sanctification in marriage is the biblical process of helping each other become as much like the Lord Jesus Christ as possible."
The husband as spiritual leader is to help his wife grow and mature as a Christian (I Peter 3:7). As his "helper suitable" the wife is to help her husband grow and mature as a Christian also.

Mrs. Peace explains on pages 36-37 "The word sanctification, in the Bible comes from the root word hagios, whichmeans to be holy. There are three main categories of sanctification taught in Scripture: positional, progressive, and future."
-Positional sanctification occurs at salvation. God convicts a man of his sin,cleanses him through the shed blood of Jesus Christ and saves his soul. (II Thessalonians 2:13)
-Future santification will occur when the Lord Jesus returns to take His church to be with Him and gives each member a new sanctified body that is pure and holy. (Jude 24)
-Progressive sanctification is what we areconcerned with now. It begins at conversion and will end when we go to be with the Lord.

Now we are instructed in the Word to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." (II Peter 3:18)We are to work to become more like Christ.
Mutual sanctification is the husband and wife working together to be molded in the image of Christ.

Next week we will learn some ways God helps us to become more like Christ. Let us start now by praying that God will work in our marriages, searching His Word for our course of action, confessing our failures and actively pursuing to notonly become more like Christ ourselves, but encouraging our husbands in this pursuit also.

Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp 33-45.Copyright 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.

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