The Excellent Wife

Lesson 24 --"Home - The Wife's Domain"

Part Two: Creating a Godly Atmosphere in the Home

The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Used by permission.

Last week our lesson talked about the atmosphere in the home that the wife creates by her moods and also by the way that she reflects upon her duties-as to the Lord. What I recall mostly, is that God has given the wife the ability to cultivate, develop and/or improve the atmosphere in her home, so that what she does will draw her family closer to the Lord. They will see how she bears up under her daily pressures and will learn from her how blessed it is to trust in the Lord.

We focused a lot on the wife's attitude and of developing a heart of gratitude and joy to the Lord. The wife who sees her role as one of doom will reflect that in her tone to her family. On the other hand, the wife who sees her role as a gift from God, will reflect this tone to her family as well. She will apply scriptures that will help her to "do everything as unto the Lord." She will trust and rest in God's promises regardless of her chore(s).

I would like to start this week's lesson by reminding us of this scripture that was also shared in last week lesson:

"Let my mouth be filled with Your praise and Your glory all the day." Psalm 71:8

This should be the attitude of the wife who is seeking to glorify the Lord in all that she does. As you pray this prayer, the Lord will answer. He will fill you with the richness of knowing Him. And when you look over your life, you will begin to see how great it is to speak praises to His name, and to give Him all the glory that's due Him!

In this lesson we are continuing to study how the wife can create a Godly atmosphere in the home. Mrs. Peace encourages us to create this atmosphere by being realistic, yet maintain an optimistic view. We can do this by acknowledging that our task may be difficult, but at the same time, we can still be hopeful that God will help us greatly. The wife might say something like this: "This sure is hard, but I know that God will give me grace to get through it." By doing this, we are not giving in to the temptation to over-exaggerate the dilemma. We're facing it with full assurance of God's ever-present help.

What I am comforted in my spirit about today, in spite of my feelings of being overwhelmed in some of my tasks, is the promise of God's help. He's an ever-present help in my time of need. I hold fast to His promise to help me. He will give us His grace and mercy to get us through. (See Hebrews 4:16). Begin to praise Him for His ability and willingness to assist you exceedingly!!

Sometimes, I find it difficult to remember to express feelings of love to my husband and children, as I focus on what needs to be done in the home. However, this is not an excuse. God never intended for our duties to overtake us nor to distract us from our real purpose in life. I find that I have to pray constantly about this so that I will be attentive to their feelings and needs. If we are not careful in this area, we will begin to portray to our family the attitude of "I can't nor do I want to be bothered." Ask the Lord to give you a sensitivity to those times so that you will respond to your family in love and not put them off. What I try to tell myself is that my husband/children are the real cause for the ministry that God has given to me. I must take time out of my busy schedule to invest in their lives.

Another area that I've tried to develop in is in building up my family's character. One way that I've done this is by trying to drop little notes into their lunches or under their pillows that let them know how important they are to me. I want them to know that they are a joy to me and that I thank God for allowing me to be blessed by having them in my life. I believe that this is what the Lord constantly does to each of His children. As we focus on Him, read His Word, and study about His character, the Lord speaks to us and let's us know how much He loves us, how much He desires our company. Do we deserve this treatment from the Lord? Of course not, yet He still show's His lovingkindness to us every day that we wake. I'm sure that this is the same way that God would have us to respond towards our families.

One thing that this lesson has done is to cause me to look deep inside of my soul and to ask the Lord to show me areas where I've failed. I'm asking Him to show me how to rise above the 'busyness' of the day and to take small retreats to be with Him. I do find that when I stop and fall on my knees before Him, or take a moment to reflect upon a song that portrays God's goodness, I am refreshed in my inner man and my perspective is renewed. I want to create a Godly atmosphere in our home. I desire to live how the Lord desires for me to live. Only then, am I truly living the abundant life that He offers.

It's clear to see that the wife's attitude tells something of what she thinks about her role. I know that there are times when it does get too hard to bear and we all have given in to feelings of frustration. But what I'm referring to is a constant resentment, complaining, grumbling and argumentative spirit. This is not how God intends for you to live. He does not desire that you be controlled by your situation but to allow Him to control you. Your attitude also tells to your family what you think of them and how you value them. Think about it....... What are your attitudes saying?

Look at what Mrs. Peace says on page 78 about the wife's attitudes and the atmosphere that she creates in the home: (Listen intently and ponder her thoughts):

"A wife who has a gentle and meek spirit from the Lord provides a calming, soothing, and reassuring atmosphere in her home. She trusts God deeply and does not panic at difficult circumstances. She has a quiet confidence that God will work all things for good to those who love God... (Romans 8:28). Her confidence and faith grows daily as she studies the Scriptures because faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of Christ.(Romans 10:17). She has a calming effect on the family, not the effect of alarming and upsetting them. It is reassuring to be around her."

Do you have a gentle, lowly spirit from the Lord? Do you try to have a calming atmosphere in the home? Do you trust in God deeply to help you daily? Are you portraying a heart of gratitude to the Lord? Or, are you just the opposite-harsh and just plain mean? Are you unbending, and unyielding in your standards? Do you change depending on mood? Will your family say that you are impossible to be reasoned with? Are you guilty of harboring feelings of pride, anger, and malice? Do you see yourself in these descriptions?

On page 79, Mrs. Peace says this about the wife who does not have a gentle and meek spirit from the Lord:

"She leaves her family with a bad taste in their mouth about Christianity. Her domain is not a refuge and a comfort, it is a war zone for whoever happens to be home. Her home is a gathering place for strife and contention and fear. Her family fears what kind of mood she may be in."

If this is evident of your life, don't hold on to this ungodly way of living. Allow the Lord' s love to break the grip of sin in your attitudes today. The Lord has promised forgiveness to all who repent. You can delight in being obedient to Him. He wants you to begin creating a Godly atmosphere in your home in order that you will proclaim to others the beauty in serving.

One of my favorite Scriptures that reminds me that I am to have the heart of Christ is found in Matthew 20:28:

"Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many."

I wonder, are you willing to serve your husband/children/family and sacrifice your life for the betterment of theirs?

I close with this offer of hope to the wife who is the verge of despair. As difficult as it may be for you, your Master knows what He' s doing. You have to hold on to the hope of Christ that lies deep within you. God did not promise us a bed of roses, as my Mother would say, yet He has offered us one of the greatest promises- to never leave you nor forsake you. He knows what you can handle. He knows your breaking point. He has not called you to this place in order to harm you. The crushing pain that you may feel from the burden of your role as Wife/Mother is designed to reshape you. The Lord wants to reshape your thought process, reshape your motives, reshape your actions so that they will line up with His good and perfect will for your life. He does not want to ruin you. God will give you the strength to bear up under your burden as you release it to Him. He wants to prosper you according to His divine plan. His plan is that His children know Him and that our lives reflect the glory of knowing Him.

Be encouraged that the Lord is with you and if you call upon Him today, He will hear and He will answer.

Isaiah 65:24, "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."

The home is the wife's domain. What are you going to make of yours?

Next week's lesson deals with "Love-the Wife's Choice". We will study biblical principles that teach us about God' s command to love our husbands regardless if they respond in love or not. The wife will see clearly that it is her choice to love her husband, and that based on God's Word, it is her responsibility to love him.

Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp 77-78. Copyright 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.