Lesson 25 Love - The Wife's Choice

We also discussed the Wife's attitude and how that portrays something about her character to her family. God instructs us to desire a meek and quiet spirit. He also wants us as wives to create an atmosphere of peace and to show His love and kindness to our husband/children as we seek ways to minister to their needs.

In this weeks lesson, "Love - The Wife's Choice" I want us all to think about this statement:

"I don't love my husband anymore. We were in love at one time, but all that has changed."

This is a frequent statement made by many wives who have gone through periods of confusion, hurt, fear, and/or resentment in their marriages. I believe that we all, at some point in our marriages, have thought this to ourselves. The reason being is that we have the wrong perspective on what love is. Love is not feelings based, it is a choice and one that Christ is calling each of us to make.

God has given the command for Christians to love. In fact, loving others is so important to Jesus Christ, that He points out to us in scripture that it is the second greatest commandment. "Love your neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) Who is your neighbor? Your husband! You must choose to love him.

When the wife marries, there is no doubt in her mind of the love she feels for her husband. She is in love with him. What then happens to that love? On page 84, Mrs. Peace has this to say:

"If you analyze each individual situation biblically, many would fall into one of three categories of sin that will destroy love: selfishness (I Cor. 13:5), bitterness (I Cor. 13:5), or fear (I John 4:18). Often, it is a combination. However, no matter what has happened and what she is feeling, God can work in her life and her husbands life and He can give them a love for each other that they have never dreamed possible. God's love is righteous and unselfish."

Remember, you are to be a pattern of Jesus Christ. His love is righteous (pure) and it is unselfish (focused on others). Do you practice loving your husband the way that God loves you?

The perfect example of God's love is found in I Corinthians Chapter 13. The wife must familiarize herself of the biblical description of love so that when she is faced with feelings of uncertainties concerning her love for husband, she can use God's Word as her guiding strength and hope.

One thing is very clear from scripture: It is the responsibility of each of us as wives, to choose to love our husbands, even if the husband does not respond in love. It's our choice because of the command that Jesus gave us. The wife can love her husband with the Lords help. She may not think that she can, but that is only a trick of Satan to keep her ruined in sin. I'm reminded of this scripture that pricked my heart deeply once when I used the excuse that God's way was so difficult: "This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome." We create our burdens by holding onto the very sin that Christ wants to free us of. Release the responsibility of your husband to the Lord God Almighty. He never called you to be your husband's judge, ruler, nor his conscience. He has called you to be the very image of His Son; to show forth the love and kindness of God that was/is expressed in His Son Christ Jesus. Loving with wrong motives is sin. Loving for something in return is sin also. Christ loved us and gave up His life for you when there was nothing in you that was lovely. God says that all of our righteous acts are like filthy rags before Him (Isaiah 64:6), and that God showed His own love for us; while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).

This tells me three things about the Love of God that He wants to express through you to your husband:

1). Love is selfless, sacrificial and is giving, even when it's undeserved.

2). Love looks beyond the faults of others and sees their eternal need.

3). Love chooses not to abhor, by takes the alternate route and begins seeking ways to express itself.

Are you willing to give up your feelings and selfish attitudes in order that God would be able to use you as His vessel of honor? Are you willing to look beyond the faults of your husband to see and minister to His sincere need? Think about it....

Christ died even though He knew that all would not come to know Him. Yet, His love for mankind was so great that He chose to do so in spite of. "Will you be like Christ? Will you choose to love your husband even if He never shows gratitude for your love? Are you willing to sacrifice in order that Christ may gain?" This is really what it comes down to. Taking a stand in your walk with the Lord to die to self in order that Christ might live. Oh that our hearts would be fully, and completely His.

I encourage each of you to take some time this week and look through the treasures of God's Word to find scripture that will help you to focus on the love of God. Look for scriptures that will help you to focus on God's sacrificial, giving love. Commit to memorizing a passage that will help you to stay centered on the proper biblical view of love. This will assist you daily when those unloving feelings arise so that you can begin portraying the love of God to your husband.

Here are a few passages of scripture to get you started: John 3, I John 4, I Corinthians 13, Isaiah 53, Romans chapters 5, 12, & 13, and Galatians 5.

All of these scriptures have ministered to me in great depth. There are many, many others that you may find helpful to you in your Christian walk. Please share those with the group and tell how they have transformed your love towards your husband.

It is my sincere desire that you develop a passion to walk in full obedience, wholly pleasing unto the Lord your God, who loved you and expressed that love by sacrificially giving His Son Jesus Christ, in order that you might know His love and live.