The Excellent Wife Lesson 32
"Love - The Wife's Choice."
Fear Hinders Love
The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Used by permission. Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp 99. Copyright 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.
In last weeks lesson the focus was on forgiveness from God's perspective. God never wants us to focus on the sin of our husband's but to focus on His love for us. If we focus on the love that God has showered upon us, even while we were yet sinners, we will be able to love and develop a forgiving heart as God desires us to have. Another point that I like to bring up is that God never tells us to pretend that we haven't been hurt. God always allows us to acknowledge our hurt but how we handle our hurt is key.
This week our lesson is on fear. Fear brings about many other issues in our life if we let it become the controlling emotion of our actions. The Greek word for "fear" is 'phobos', pronounced fob'-os. It means to be alarmed or frightened; to be exceedingly afraid, or full of terror. When I look at this definition, I can see the growing effect that fear can take on in our lives. It starts out as you being alarmed about something/issue, then it grows into full terror. Fear comes about when we are anxious or worried. We put all of our emotions into thinking about a situation that hasn't even taken place. We begin to think the worse. This is not healthy to us physically nor spiritually.
There is an old saying that says, "You can worry yourself sick." Sad to say, this is the situation that many of God's people find themselves in today. "How do we break out of this bondage of fear?" God has given us some principals in His Word that we need to take heed to. Remember, "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." (Rom.10:17) Fear makes it difficult to love when we are focused on that fear. True love to God assures the wife of God's love for her. Love teaches us to suffer for God & to suffer with God. Therefore, we are able to trust that whatever we face or go through, we still have the full assurance of God's love. His love still remains.
You cannot base God's love for you on the situation that you face. God is love. The Bible declares it. That settles it. Hebrews 13:8 declares that God is the same yesterday, today, and forevermore. Hold on to this truth. I John 4:18 says this: "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
Now, let's examine the word "Perfect." The Greek word for perfect is 'teleios', pronounced tel'-i-os, which literally means to be complete. The idea we see here is to be complete in your growth, your mental and moral character; to be of full age. In the Bible, the idea is that spiritually you are growing and maturing in the love of Christ Jesus. If we are consumed with fear, we lack the spiritual maturity that God wants us to have. God wants you to be able to love your husband (and others), without being frightened or overcome of fear. Fear is a crippling emotion. It will cause us to be inactive in carrying out the divine will of God. God wants to free you of this bondage so that you can walk in the newness of life which Christ has already set you free from! We need to grasp the truth of God's Word that fear hinders love. It hinders us to do the will of God.
The great proof of conversion in a Christians life is evidenced in the love he/she has for God andothers. As we embrace God's love expressed in His Word, our love toward others should grow. We then become more and more perfect (complete), as we are exercised in the areas of our temper and conduct. "If we confess to love God, shouldn't our lives bear fruit of this evidence?" Our natural affections/tendencies are changed as we yield full control of our emotions to the Holy Spirit's guidance. The Lord wants you to walk as Christ did. Your mere profession of your devotion and love to God is not enough.
One of my favorite scriptures says this about true devotion to Christ: "He that saith he abideth in him ought himself also so to walk, even as he walked." We can sum it up by saying, "If you love the Lord obey His commandments."
I know that fear is a common problem among wives today. You may even have a legitimate fear. Most of our fears are not legitimate. Regardless, God has not designed you to live in fear. Fear brings about anguish. Even more so, Fear is sin. Being afraid is a lack of trust in God. Remember Proverbs 31:21, 25: "She is not 'afraid' of the snow for her household...she smiles at the future." How is this wife able to smile at the future despite the fact that her husband may be out of work, or she's just received an unsuspected bill, or the fact that her husband misuses his money... Because her trust is in the Lord God; Jehovah Jireh-The Lord will provide. Regardless of your situation, God is God. He doesn't change. David said of His God, "I haven't seen the righteous forsaken, nor His seed begging bread." Leave the providing in the hands of the Great Provider.
God is more than able to take care of ALL of your families needs. Your husband is not taking care of everything. God is through your husband. Proverbs 21:1 says: "The kings heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will." Put your confidence in the Lord, not in man. God knows that fear is a miserable emotion for a wife, but he wants you to respond biblically to your fear.
Let's look at the following biblical principles on how to handle your fear:
1) Remind yourself of God's Word.
I remembered Thy judgments of old, O Lord; and have comforted myself. Psalm 119:52 God's word can fortify you and give you strength. When you remind yourself of His faithfulness in times past, your fear will in time pass away!
2) Make wise decisions as you meditate on God's Word.
Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. For the Lord shall be Thy confidence, and shall keep Thy foot from being taken. Proverbs 3:25-26 We need to have the ability to relate God's truth to life situations. If we study the principles of God's Word we will be able to make wise decisions. Wisdom comes from God and if we ask He will give it to us liberally. If we don't respond biblically to the situations in our marriages/life that cause us to fear, we will find ourselves caught in a snare/trap. Your confidence should be in the Lord.
3) Realize that God's power is at work in you.
For God has not give us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. I Timothy 1:7 God has an unlimited source of power. If He can raise Jesus Christ from the dead, He can even enable you to not give in to fear. The Holy Spirit does not produce in us a spirit of terror/fear. He produces power. You become fearful when you take your eyes off of God almighty and begin focusing on your particular situation. As you dwell on it, you become more and more frightened. Worry set's in. You have turned your thoughts inwardly. You must renew your mind by thinking only on those things that are of good report, praiseworthy, and so on. If you set your mind on things above, where Christ is, you will not become overwhelmed with fear by the things that you face here on earth.
4) Realize that God is with you-Always!
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me. Psalm 23:4 Remind yourself that God is always with you. He is your comfort and peace. As Christians we have real hope. God is with you. He promises to 'walk with you' even through the shadow of death. You do not have to be afraid or fearful.
5) Trust God to keep His Word.
"In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me." Psalm 56:4
You must decide who or what you will allow to be Master of your emotions. Who are you trusting to keep you safe and secure? Is it yourself? Is it your husband? Neither one can promise you real, lasting security. God has bound Himself by His Word. He is the only One who is able to keep you until the day of Christ's return. "Why then do you trust in someone/something other than God?" He is the sustainer of the universe. The Great I Am. Besides Him, there is none other. He is God all by Himself. He cannot break His promise. God is not a man that He should lie. If He said it, then He meant it. He is a faithful God and keeps His covenant with them that love Him even unto a thousand generations!What an All-Sufficient God we serve! You can trust God to keep His Word. Regardless of your stance, He is faithful.
Ladies, perfect love casts out fear. You must respond in loving obedience to God. Whatever your fear is-it may be small, it may be great; turn it over to the Lord. Respond biblically to your fear. God will give you His peace regardless of your circumstances. Respond in love by obeying God's Word. Go to the Lord and ask him to help you overcome your fear. Learn scriptures and meditate on them so that you can renew your mind and build up your inner man with the truth of God's Word. Begin to take small steps toward spiritual maturity. God wants to free you. Don't make excuses. Live in the freedom of Christ right now. Don't wait a moment longer.
I want to leave you with you two scriptures that you can begin meditating upon. Hide them in your heart and let them be meat to your soul....
Psalm 34:4, "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears."
Notice how the Lord didn't deliver David from his 'enemies' but He delivered Him from not one, but ALL of his fears. Think of the mighty fortress of peace God was to David. David still had many enemies, and yes they were out to destroy him and take his life, yet in the midst of his running, he experienced the peace of God that surpasses human knowledge. God's peace gave David strength and courage to continue on. What great treasure.
Psalm 56:3, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in Thee."
Remind yourself to trust in the Lord WHENEVER you have an urge to be fearful. Ponder this scripture in your heart. Repeat it daily. It will do wonders for your spirit and help you to practice taking unrighteous thoughts/feelings captive to the obedience of Christ. I pray that whatever is causing you much fear, anguish, and pain that you will give that situation to the Lord. Only He can help you. Only He can set you free. Only He can save you now. "Yes, fear hinders love, but perfect love casts out fear."
Walk in the newness of life,
Pamm Jackson5P@aol.com
Wife and Motherhood duties fall into order as we first submit our ways to God. Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker. (Psalm 95:6)