The Excellent Wife Lesson 35 "
Love--The Wife's Choice"
Principle #5-- The Wife is to "Put on Love"
A study of the Characteristics of Love listed in I Corinthians 13 (part 2)
The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. Used by permission. Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp. 102-105. Copyright, 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.
In last week's lesson we studied the first seven characteristics of love listed in I Corinthians 13. We found love to be:
1) patient--not easily aggravated but instead slow in anger expressing thankfulness for all the circumstances in our lives
2) kind--speaking in a gentle tone with kind acts
3) not jealous--not fearful of being displaced by another person or thing
4) not bragging--but "boasting" only in the Lord and what He has done
5)not arrogant--not a "know-it-all" but practicing humility
6)not acting unbecomingly --not disrespectful or rude but always responding in love and practicing good manners 7)seeking not its own (way) -- not selfish but instead the wife considering her husband to be more important than herself.
When reflecting upon these first seven characteristics, did you notice, as I did, how many of these talk about what love IS NOT? Only two of the first seven characteristics of love given were positive. The other seven were negative. Perhaps it is because we need to know what love is NOT before we can practice "real" love. The love presented by the world is based upon lust and sentimental feelings. It is a love that will only last as long as the object of that love has something to offer. God's love isn't like that. He loved the unlovely "while we were yet sinners". He calls us to the same love--a love that seeks the good of the one loved. In the remainder of our list of characteristics we will find three more qualities that do not characterize Godly love and then our final focus will be on the last four positive characteristics of love.
8. "Love is not provoked" A loving wife will control herself even under very difficult cirumstances instead of becoming irritated. She will practice the Godly character quality of self-control and respond with patience and kindness remembering "no pressure has overtaken (her) but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow (her) to be pressured beyond what (she) is able, but with the pressure will provide the way of escape also, that (she) may be able to endure it'' (I Corinthians 10:13).
9. "Love does not take into account a wrong suffered" "Taking into account a wrong suffered" is replaying the offense suffered with bitter thoughts to yourself in your mind or bringing up the past to your husband. Love will not hold onto bitterness, but practice forgiveness. As I reflect on this quality, I think perhaps the greatest help to us in "forgiving and forgetting" is to remember what Christ has forgiven us and not only in forgiving us but casting our sins into the depth of the sea to remember them no more (Micah 7:18, 19; Jeremiah 31:34) Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you."
10. "Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth" Mrs. Peace tells us on p. 103 "A loving wife is one who not only deals properly with the sin in her life, but also does not entice, influence, or provoke her husband to sin. She tells him the truth. One of the by-products of being righteous is that she is, at the same time, showing love. Another way she can show love to her husband is by "stimulating him to love and good deeds" through encouraging him and supporting him to be godly and to do godly deeds (Hebrews 10:24)."
11. "Love bears all things." This characteristic of love involves sacrifice of self. This will include times when your husband is being selfish. It is important to remember that if we suffer it should be for "doing what is right" (I Peter 3:17) A loving wife is committed to her husband and he knows it.
12. "Love believes all things." A wife shows love by believing the best instead of assuming the worst about what her husband says or does and his motives. Even if "the worst" becomes fact, she will order her life and set her goals by faith and not sight remembering that she is in God's sovereign care and He has a purpose for her life. She believes and hold firmly to the promise that "all things work together for good to those that love Him, to them who are the called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)
13. "Love hopes all things." A Christian wife's basis of hope is the Lord Jesus Christ for "In Him (she) will not be disappointed." (Romans 10:11) Her hope is based on the One who will "bring it to pass." (I Thessalonians 5:24). It is sure and steadfast based upon certain promises in God's Word given by the One who cannot lie. One outgrowth of this hope will be a hope that her husband will also become more godly if he is a Christian or be saved if he is not. She can trust "all things" to the hands of God including her husband and her marriage.
14. "Love endures all things." Love will cause the wife to see trials and pressures as a special opportunity to become more like the Lord Jesus Christ. She can "endure" these things remembering how Christ "endured the cross, despising the shame for the joy that was set before Him." (Hebrews 12:2) The Christian wife can choose to show love by righteously enduring trials and pressures and telling herself, "This is especially difficult, but with God's grace I can endure" knowing "that the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ." (I Peter 1:7)
Wow, what a list! How can we hope to practice "love" as it is presented to us in God's Word? We can only fall on our faces before our All Wise, Holy God confessing our sin in this area and pleading for grace to follow after His ways. We need to keep this passage ever before us mediating on those things we have been taught and practice following after them with all diligence. Mrs. Peace concludes this chapter of her book with these words on p. 105, "Putting on love does not happen automatically. It is the greatest commandment. It should be the character quality on which you work the hardest. Just reading this book will not make you a more loving person. Putting on love will." Let me ask, "Are we ready as Excellent Wives to start 'putting on love' ?"
Next week we will start our study in Chapter Ten "Respect"--The Wife's Reverence. I think we will find this chapter very convicting when faced with our biblical responsibility to "reverence" our husbands. I pray God will make these lessons real and applicable in our lives. What profit is it to read these things and study God's Word if we do not apply them to our lives resulting in our families seeing a more Godly walk? "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16) "Dear Holy Father, May it be so!"