"Respect -- The Wife's Reverence"

The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.  Used by permission.  Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp. 107, 108.  Copyright, 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota.  Used with permission for the purposes of this devotional series only.   May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.  

In last week's lesson we considered the last seven characteristics of love listed in I Corinthians 13.  We found love  :   

  8) Not provoked--not responding in irritation but self-control realizing God will not give more then we can bear       

 9) Not taking into account a wrong suffered--not bringing up past failings but instead forgiving and forgetting as Christ has forgiven us    1

0) Not rejoicing in unrighteousness but rejoicing in truth --not enticing her husband to sin but "stimulating to love and good deeds"

11) Bearing all things -- sacrificing self and committing to your husband

12)  Believing all things -- believing the best and holding to God's promise "that all things work together for good..."  

  13) Hoping all things -- having firm hope in God and trusting "all things" to the hand of God including her husband and marriage and       

14)Enduring all things -- seeing trials as opportunity to become more like the Lord Jesus Christ We saw that these things do not come naturally to us but instead we must diligently work at "putting on love" in our lives.  

This week's lesson will begin a new chapter on "Respect--The Wife's Reverence".  I read this particular chapter maybe a year ago, and it had a real impact on my life.  I would have said that I was a submissive wife.  I certainly knew the Biblical teaching and wanted to follow it.  However, on reading this chapter I wondered if perhaps I had failed at times to show my husband "reverence".  I started to question some of my own attitudes and actions in light of what Mrs. Peace is teaching us. 

I pray this chapter will touch your heart also if  you find that you are represented in these pages as one who doesn't "respect her husband".  At the end of the chapter will be a check list that we can review with our husbands if we are brave enough.  I fear too many women would call themselves respectful but if their husbands were asked to honestly answer this questions, they would have to deny her reverence.  Perhaps we are submissive but not reverent or respectful.  Even a child can obey because he knows the consequences of disobedience but show by attitudes and actions that it was not from a heart of love.  Do we submit begrudgingly or do we lovingly submit showing respect and honor for the position God has given our husbands as head of the home?  

Mrs. Peace starts off with an example from her own life that mirrored some of my own experiences and perhaps yours too.  She told of a time when her husband was getting read to go to church planning to wear a shirt and tie that didn't match.  She sarcastically said, "You're not going to wear that tie are you?"  He told her he was and wanted to know what was wrong with it.  Upon reflection later she realized that her question had made him feel foolish because obviously, he had planned to wear that outfit. 

The wife is to "see to it that she respect her husband" (Ephesians 5:33).  She should be a "helper suitable" (Genesis 2:20) offering helpful suggestions instead of "put-downs".   Scripture gives numerous examples of wives showing disrepect to their husband.  Job's wife told him to "curse God and die!" (Job 2:9) instead of supporting him in his time of trial.  When she saw King David dancing for joy, his wife, Michal, made fun of David instead of rejoicing with him that the ark was being returned to Jerusalem.  

But Scripture does also give us some postive examples of those who did show respect to their husbands.  Bathsheba "bowed with her face to the ground, and prostrated herself before the king and said, May my lord king David live forever"  (I Kings 1:31)    Queen Esther approached King Ahasuerus with respect saying "...if it please the king...my petition and my request is if I have found favor in the King's sight..." (Esther 5:4).  Sarah is commended in I Peter 3:6 for she "obeyed Abraham, calling him lord" .  We are told in this same passage that we can be like the holy women of old by practicing this same attitude.   Ephesians 5:33 says "....let the wife see to it that she respects her husband."  It doesn't matter that this goes completely contrary to what is being taught by the world today.  This is what God requires of us.

Mrs. Peace gives us five Biblical Principles for Respecting our Husbands. They are: 

1.  The wife is to respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:33

2.  The wife is to respect his position.  I Corinthians 11:3

3.  The wife is to act in a respectful manner. Proverbs 31:23

4.  The wife is to reprove her husband respectfully.  Colossians 4:6

5.  The wife who is disrespectful may experience severe consequences     Galatians 6:1  

Next week we will start studying these principles indepth.  May God help us to start applying this lesson to our hearts now.    Sylvia suggested that we start posting some questions at the end of the lesson to perhaps help us in our sharing.  I challenge you to listen to the tone of voice you answer your husband in, listen to how you talk about your husband to others, listen to the words you use to respond to his questions, even evaluate your body language. 

Are we showing true "reverence' for our husbands or deceiving ourselves? 

How do others evaluate the relationship they see between us and our husbands? 

Can we repair the damage done by our disrespectful attitudes in the past? 

What are some practical things we can do to show our husbands respect? 

I hope we will all honestly search our hearts and see if we are obeying God's command to respect our husbands.  

Love in Christ,  

Sandra nruble@netmcr.com