Lesson 40
Chapter Thirteen: "Biblical Submission-Basis Of The Wife's Protection"


The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife"
by Martha Peace. Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp.
137-173. Copyright, 1999, Focus, Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used with
permission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be
reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.


In last weeks lesson we talked about submission being the wife's joy. We
looked at ways that the wife could begin to cultivate a heart of joy to God
even in difficult times. I would like to remind us that all what we face in
life will not be 'fun' but we can still have a heart that is full of
gratitude to the Lord. I Thessalonians 5:16-18 says "Be joyful always; pray
continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you
in Christ Jesus."

Over the next few weeks we will remain on the issue of Biblical Submission.
I again urge each of you to ask the Lord to help you see submission from His
view regardless of what situation you may be in. God's Word is truth and we
can only be set free by His Truth.

** Special Note: If you don't have the book, I pray that God would make a way
for you to obtain it. The detail that is in this chapter alone is worthy of
owning the book. I will try to go into as much detail as God allows, but it
would be helpful to get the book for greater detail as well as future
reference. Please remember that the lessons are a 'summary' of the lessons in
the book. I also ask that you bear with me as I feel that this subject is one
that needs much attention and understanding. I will try to summarize as best
I can.

Mrs. Peace starts off on page 137 stating the following which I agree with
totally:

"Many women, even Christian ones, are confused and sometimes hostile about
what it means for a wife to be submissive to her husband. The topic is much
maligned and misunderstood both in the world and the church." Because of this
misunderstanding, many questions are brought up such as these:
"Is the wife supposed to say nothing and let her husband beat her?" or "Her
husband is a drunk and is irresponsible. She's been supporting him for
years. Is she supposed to let him run over her like that?" These questions
do deserve an answer, a real biblical answer."

The Bible does not teach that the wife is to be submissive to a husband who
is sinning (threatening her, or actually harming her). God has provided
several ways for the wife to be protected against a husband who is sinning
and it's the wife responsibility to take advantage of God's protection. Each
case is different and the wife must seek the Lord's will in every situation,
and not her own. God wants you to handle every situation with the wisdom
that He gives.

I don't believe that God wants a wife to suffer 'unnecessarily.' That would
be foolish. Did Christ suffer unnecessarily? No, He did not. God had a
purpose for His suffering which was to utterly offer salvation to all
mankind. We have to be careful though how we interpret 'unnecessarily.' I
will say it again. God has given each of us the ability to receive
instruction and wisdom from His Word. In relation to being subjected to an
abusive husband I will share this personal view:

My Dad was abusive to my mother. After a while, she began to say that she
would not suffer 'unnecessarily.' This was seen in her actions/plans. She
forewarned us of her plans and what we would need to do to get to safety.
Well, my Dad's rages were almost like clockwork. We knew what would upset
Him. When he began to rage, we went out the back door, into my Mother's
parked car behind the garage and waited for her. She had a place already for
us to go to for safety. We had some food in the car, clothes, and blankets.
She began to save some of her money as well. This took a lot of strength and
courage on her part. She never complained. I admire her trust in the Lord
and her desire to not sin but honor the Lord. Was it easy for her? I think
not. But the blessings that we as her children have received as a result of
her dedication to the Lord is the most impressionable thought on my heart
today. God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can
bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you
can stand up under it. (I Cor. 10:13.)

Since there are so many misperceptions and misrepresentation of the
scriptures and true biblical teaching, a wife needs to know what biblical
submission really is and how the Lord intends for her to glorify Him in it.
We will look at five principles to help us understand "Biblical Submission."

1. A wife is to be submissive to her husband in 'all things' unless her husband asks her to sin.

2. A submissive wife is not afraid to do the "right thing."

3. A wife is to be submissive even if her husband is not a Christian.

4. A submissive wife does not dishonor the Word of God.

5. A wise wife will seek training and counsel on submission from a godly older woman.


Today we will focus on Principle #1:

"A wife is to be submissive to her husband in 'all things' unless her husband asks her to sin."

Ephesians 5:22,24 says:
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. But as the church is
subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in
everything.

God has sovereignly chose for the wife to be "subject" or "under" the
husbands authority for the purpose of order and harmony in the home. This
does not mean that the wife is an 'inferior' person. She has a different
position but is not seen by God as being of lesser value.

Romans 2:11
For there is no partiality with God.

Galations 3:28
... there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

God is not biased to males or females. We are equal in that regard. But, it
is the wife's responsibility to take on the attitude of Christ and be a
submissive servant, in order that she might carry out her God-intended role
in the marriage relationship.

One of my favorite life-changing scriptures that has ministered to me greatly
in my marriage is:

Philippians 2:5-8
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who,
although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a
thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bondservant,
and being make in the likeness of men. And being found in the appearance as
a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death...

Jesus Christ is not inferior to God the Father. Neither are you to your
husband. If Christ subordinated Himself to the will of the Father in order
to carry out His plan of redemption, shouldn't you do the selfsame thing?
Yes, we are called to have the same or like mind of Christ Jesus. When you
submit yourself to your husband you are allowing God to carry out His plan
for your family. God designed us a special role as wives. Our main role is
to be a 'helper suitable' to our husbands.

Genesis 2:18
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make
him a helper suitable for him."

I Corinthians 11:9
For indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's
sake.

In Ephesians 5:24, what does the phrase in everything imply? It covers all
areas of life such as the finances, discipline of the children, everyday
choices/decisions. Mrs. Peace gives us an example on page 140, of a wife who
goes out and purchases an antique sofa. When her husband sees it, he doesn't
like it and asks her to take it back. Well, she becomes furious at his
request. Since he was not asking her to sin she should have graciously
submitted. The point here is that a wife must obey her husband unless he has
asked her to sin. God has absolute authority over the wife. So if a wife is
asked to sin, to she must obey God rather than man. (Acts 5:29) I know that
this may be difficult for some of us to grasp. When we are used to having
our own way and used to doing things our way, it is hard to hear sound
doctrine and accept it. My prayer again is that you will seek the truth in
the area of submission as God outlines in His Word. The Lord will transform
you and your marriage if you are receptive to His instructions.


Let's then consider some examples of how husbands ask their wives to sin:

THE HUSBAND'S COMMAND:
"I forbid you to go to church."

GOD'S COMMAND:
"... forsake not the assembling of yourselves together."
Hebrews 10:25

EXPLANATION:
In this case the wife must disobey respectfully if asked to not attend
church. However she must make sure that her husband isn't feeling that her
friends at church are more important than he is. She must make sure to
reassure him that he is important to her and cared for greatly. If your
husband desires your company on a trip that he wishes to take such as
fishing, camping, boating, etc., then you should go and enjoy the time with
him. God is more pleased with her desire to be faithful in all things than
he would be about her rigid attitude about church.

I can share with you on this issue personally as well: My husband began to
plan outings for us on Sundays. I was glad that he took initiative to plan
for us to spend time together but at the same time my own feelings were,
"What about Church? Has he forgotten our commitment to the Lord?" A dear
sister of mine reminded me to go and pray about it to God. Not to ridicule
Him firsthand and make Him feel that his wishes were not important. When I
did talk with him, I asked him if we could try to plan our outings on other
days so that we would not be tempted to make it a practice to disregard the
day we set aside for worship. He agreed. I believe God honors this type of
heart attitude and I have seen His blessings as a result of my coming under
the plan that He has for our family.



THE HUSBAND'S COMMAND:
"I forbid you to talk to the children about God."

GOD'S COMMAND:
"... but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

EXPLANATION:
The husband is again asking the wife to go against God's command to Christian
parents. She can prayerfully, gently, and respectfully explain to her
husband why she cannot submit to that type of request. Again she can be wise
in this situation as well. She can plan devotional time when he is away,
(this is what my mother did for us), when there are times that her discipline
or instruction is contrary to what her husband does, she can wait for a time
when she is alone with her child to explain the scriptural reason behind her
correction. The wife must try to not be offensive to her unbelieving husband
but she cannot agree to never talking to the children about the Lord.


THE HUSBAND'S COMMAND:
"I want to see you participate in immorality/pornography."

GOD'S COMMAND:
"But do not let immorality or any impurity ... even be named among you, as is
proper among the saints..."
Ephesians 5:3

EXPLANATION:
Instead of participating the wife must refuse to participate. In chapter
fourteen, Mrs. Peace touches more on this subject and advises the wife to use
the appropriate provisions that God has given her for protection. (We will
cover these later) but I would encourage you to pray about giving biblical
reproof as well as how to respond biblically to sinful demands. You don't
want to respond in a sinful angry way but in a way that is God-honoring. The
Lord will help you make the right decision and give you the grace that you
need for that appointed time.


THE HUSBAND'S COMMAND:
A Christian husband says, "I forbid you to reprove."

GOD'S COMMAND:
"Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual,
restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, each one looking to yourself,
lest you too b tempted."

EXPLANATION:
Some believe that a Christian wife should NEVER reprove her Christian
husband. In this case the husband and wife are considered "brother & sister"
in the Lord. They are to help each other become more like Christ. Godly
love does not sit by passively. It rejoices in the truth, not in
unrighteousness. (I Cor. 13:6.) When there's a pattern of sin her husband's
life, she can gently, and in a straightforward manner reprove him in love.
If he forbids her to do, he is asking her to disobey the Lord. However, God
will deal with Him. She is not to take on the role of being the Convictor in
his life. That's the role of the Holy Spirit. I am learning to saturate my
heart with prayer and discern from the Lord an opportune time when I need to
offer biblical reproof. Each time, the Lord's working in my husband has been
more than evident. I have been amazed by the changing of his tone and
understanding. When we seek the Lord's guidance He more than gives it to us.
He is not willing that we fail at this...He wants us to learn how to rely
upon Him for EVERYTHING. Even when my intentions are good, and I am not
received well, I still thank the Lord for the opportunity and entrust Him to
help me respond in love--like Christ. I then commit the situation to prayer.


THE HUSBAND'S COMMAND:
"Do not tell anyone about my sin. I want you to lie for me."


GOD'S COMMAND:
"Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak the truth each one of you, with his
neighbor, for we are members of one another."
Ephesians 4:25

THE EXPLANATION:
Whether your husband is a believer or unbeliever, this is a promise that
cannot be made. It is unbiblical to make such a promise. I agree with Mrs.
Peace when she encourages the wife who has made this promise to go before her
husband and explain to him that she has made an unbiblical promise. If the
atmosphere is such that she cannot go to him, then she must purpose in her
heart, with God's help, to not make any like promises in the future. Instead
of covering up for her husband she should seek to put pressure on him to
repent. She must respond to ungodly behavior in a God-honoring way by
responding with the wisdom of scripture. (See chapter fourteen.)

My hope is that you have learned so far, that the Scripture is clear on
Biblical Submission. That you as the wife are to be submissive to your
husband in all things, unless he is asking you to sin. I caution each of us,
to change our perspectives and views of submission in light of God's Word.
If you fail to comply as God has directed you, then you are disobeying God.
God will not bless disobedience. He wants you to live your life in total
reliance on Him. Your life should speak to others of your trust in an
all-knowing, all-wise, all-righteous, all-loving, and always faithful God.

Next week, we will look at Principle #2 and Principle #3.
--------------------------------------------------------
1. If your husband were asked if you are a submissive wife, what would he
say? Consider proposing this question to him in a note card. As you wait for
His response, pray and ask God to give you a meek and quiet spirit as well as
a mind to change any area that needs change.


2. How will you seek to change your perspective on biblical submission?
List scriptures and ways that you are going to pursue to help you submit as
God intends.

3. Now that you have learned a great deal about this subject from God's
Word, what is hindering you from responding to His call to be a submissive
wife in everything?


4. Prayerfully ask yourself this question: "What am I doing wrong in our
marriage?" Make a list of the areas that God surfaces in your heart and be
willing to surrender those areas to Him.

In Christ's Love,
Pamm

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