The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.
This week our lesson focuses on dealing with our sin, both former and present. God has totally
forgiven our sins-past, present, and future. Sometimes though I think we have trouble forgiving
ourselves. Is there something in your own past that you are having trouble forgiving yourself
for? Maybe it is some "secret sin" that your husband isn't even aware of. Perhaps you had an
adulterous affair or an abortion or any number of things. If so, it is time dear sister that you
learn to let go of your past and view it as God does. He tells us in I Corinthians 6:9-11:
"For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him.
As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
If you are truly a born-again child of God it is important that you learn to view your past as
God does when He says, "and such were some of you." God cannot lie. He also tells us in
I Corinthians 5:17, "...old things are passed away; behold,new things have come." So again, if
you are truly saved, you stand totally cleansed and justified in the eyes of God. The blood of
the Lord Jesus paid your debt and mine. Remember, it is finished! Claim that promise today.
If however, you feel that you have a past sin that might affect your marriage today, you may
need to clear your own conscience with your spouse. If you do indeed feel this way, please be
very careful. I (and Mrs. Peace) recommend that you consult with your pastor before opening
up to your husband. This must be done prayerfully, carefully and in the right manner and
time.
Now that we have a clear understanding of dealing with our past sin,let's discuss our present
sin. Being born into God's family does not guarantee us a sinless life of perfection. That
would be nice and is to be our goal. We do have the ability to live above our sin, however there
is not one lady reading this today who does not have to deal with sin on a regular basis.
Although we stand justified in the eyes of God we must continue to seek forgiveness from not
only God, but from those we offend. Please understand,this has nothing to do with salvation.
But it does have everything to do with relationships. Just as our fellowship with others is
broken when we sin against them, our fellowship with God can also be broken. I John 1:7
says:
"Or do you not know that the
unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not
be decieved; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor
adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves,
nor the coveteous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor
swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were
some of you; but you were washed, but you were
sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the
Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God."
(emphasis added)
When we sin against someone we have a responsibility to repent of that sin. Repent simply
means to "turn away from inremorse." We humbly repent, God grants grace and mercy,
andJesus Christ cleanses us from that particular sin. If a particular sin, such as an unbridled
tongue or laziness, has become a longstanding habit for you then it will take much diligence
and perseverance on your part before you seen fruits of repentance. This will take much work
to develop. Mrs. Peace calls it, "A Process of Diligence." Along with the following tables, she
writes on page 23:
"If we walk in the light, as He is in
the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the
blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all
sin."
Our English words gymnyst, gymnastics, and gymnasium all come from the Greek root word
that is used here in this passage for"discipline." The word is gymnazo and it
means"to exercise or to train." It carries with it the ideaof doing something over and over
again until it becomes a habit and you get it right. How great an Excellent Wife you
become depends on how hard you work at it. Old habits die hard. Daily and consciously we
have to be aware of our old patterns and our old nature. We must learn to be "transformed by
the renewing of our minds." (Romans 12:2) As we humbly acknowledge our needs before God
He will grant us grace and by His Holy Spirit He will supernaturally enable us. Being an
Excellent Wife will soon become second nature and an automatic response. This is taught in
Ephesians chapter four and Colossians three and is illustrated in the following table:
“Not all sin is as devastating to a
marriage relationship as the previous example of
immorality, but any sin will erode the oneness that God
intends for Christian couples to have. All Christians
bring into marriage old sinful habit patterns of thinking
and responding that hurt their marriage and grieve their
Lord. Repentance is a process that usually involves more
than just confessing to God and your spouse. It may take
work and time. That's why we are instructed in Scripture
to "disicpline
yourself for the purpose of godliness" (I
Timothy 4:7)
"...put aside the old self" Eph. 4:22 | "...put on the new self." Eph 4:24 |
"Lay aside falsehood..." Eph 4:25 | "..speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor." Eph 4:25 |
"Let him who steals steal no longer." Eph 4:28 | "Let him labor that he may share with those in need." Eph 4:28 |
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you..." Eph 4:31 | "And be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you." Eph 4:32 |
The desires of our hearts are displayed by our open sin. This happens because what you wantin life is determined by how you talkto yourself. Please understand, we are not talking"Christian psychology" here nor "behavior modification." But what we are presenting is very biblical in that the only way to glorify God with your life is to learn tothink according to His Word. (Romans 12:2) This next table shows some ways that we, as Christian wives, might think wrong in contrast with the godly thoughts that we should "put-on."
WRONG, SINFUL THOUGHTS | RIGHT, GODLY THOUGHTS |
1. "I hate him!" | 1. "I don't feel love for him right now, but I choose to love him by responding in a kind way." |
2. "There is no hope for this marriage!" | 2. "If he repents, there is nothing that I cannot forgive and that we cannot work through." |
3. "I can't be what God wants me to be because my husband is not a righteous man." | 3. "He may be a complete failure before God, but I do not have to be. I can be pleasing to God whether he is or not." |
4. "I can't take the pressure any more!" | 4. "I can take the pressure since, "There is no temptation but such as is common to man and God is faithful who will not allow me to be pressured beyond what I am able..." I Corinthians 10:13 |
5. "I wish I could be with my friend's husband. He's so kind to her." | 5. "Thank you Lord for my husband. What can I do to show him that he is special to me? |
6. "I don't dare tell him what I am thinking. If I do, he will think badly of me." | 6. "I can learn to speak the truth in love. God will give me the grace to respond to his reaction whatever it is." |
7. "I wish he would leave me alone." | 7. "Thank you Lord for a husband who does want to be with me." |
8. "If he loved me, he would be romantic." | 8. "Love does not seek its own (way). What can I do to show love to him?" (I Corinthians 13:5) |
Learning to change our sinful thoughts is really a very simple process. 1. We must recognize our sinful thoughts. They may manifest themselves inselfish motives, unloving ways, bitterness or even vengeance. 2. We must confess them to God. Confessing simply means "agreeing with God." 3.However, true repentance requires a change of mind. This is where you must learn to put into practice the actions of replacing ungodly thoughts with biblical, God-honoring ones. 4. Be patient and give yourself time. You will not become an ExcellentWife overnight. It takes time and hard work but the fruits of your labor will be worth every minute that you invested.
"Thus we've seen that sin can be hidden or open. It is a universal characteristic of fallen man. Only the sinless Son of God, Jesus Christ, could have provided a means to satisfy God's righteous demands against sin. God does all of the work of man's salvation. Salvation is by His grace, not based on any merits (however "kind") within man. God's provision for sin begins at the cross and continues with "grace to help" us grow and mature as Christians (Hebrews 4:16). With God's grace, we can work diligently at "putting off" wrong, sinful thoughts and "putting on" biblically right thoughts and actions."strong>Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp 22-26.Copyright 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used withpermission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher....conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ." I Peter 1:17-18