Lesson Nine

Dealing With Sin - A Process of Diligence

The following is a summary adaptation of material from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace.

Learning to deal with our own sin nature is of utmost importance on our journey to becoming an Excellent Wife. This study is different from many others as I am sure you are learning by now. We are learning together to look at our own inner man and deal with the sin in our own personal lives rather than focusing on our marriages and/or changing our husbands. This study is unique in that it recognizes that the ability to become a godly wife is not in a list of good deeds. It is found however, in a vital, thriving, real relationship with God the Father, through Jesus Christ our Lord.That is why it is so important for us to understand sin, its consequences, and its cure. For the past couple of weeks we have studied the birth of sin in the Garden of Eden, its domino affect on all mankind, the repercussions of sin (isolation from God), and the provision that God made through Jesus Christ to restore us unto Himself. We learned that God grants unto us, by His grace, the new birth and we are given the faith that we need to receive Jesus Christ as Lord of our lives. At the very moment of this transformation ALL our sins are blotted out. Our account is settled and we are promised Heaven as our eternal home. It is important for us to understand what actually happens to our sin at the point of conversion. Psalm103:11,12 says:
"For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
This week our lesson focuses on dealing with our sin, both former and present. God has totally forgiven our sins-past, present, and future. Sometimes though I think we have trouble forgiving ourselves. Is there something in your own past that you are having trouble forgiving yourself for? Maybe it is some "secret sin" that your husband isn't even aware of. Perhaps you had an adulterous affair or an abortion or any number of things. If so, it is time dear sister that you learn to let go of your past and view it as God does. He tells us in I Corinthians 6:9-11:
"Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be decieved; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the coveteous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God." (emphasis added)
If you are truly a born-again child of God it is important that you learn to view your past as God does when He says, "and such were some of you." God cannot lie. He also tells us in I Corinthians 5:17, "...old things are passed away; behold,new things have come." So again, if you are truly saved, you stand totally cleansed and justified in the eyes of God. The blood of the Lord Jesus paid your debt and mine. Remember, it is finished! Claim that promise today. If however, you feel that you have a past sin that might affect your marriage today, you may need to clear your own conscience with your spouse. If you do indeed feel this way, please be very careful. I (and Mrs. Peace) recommend that you consult with your pastor before opening up to your husband. This must be done prayerfully, carefully and in the right manner and time. Now that we have a clear understanding of dealing with our past sin,let's discuss our present sin. Being born into God's family does not guarantee us a sinless life of perfection. That would be nice and is to be our goal. We do have the ability to live above our sin, however there is not one lady reading this today who does not have to deal with sin on a regular basis. Although we stand justified in the eyes of God we must continue to seek forgiveness from not only God, but from those we offend. Please understand,this has nothing to do with salvation. But it does have everything to do with relationships. Just as our fellowship with others is broken when we sin against them, our fellowship with God can also be broken. I John 1:7 says:
"If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin."
When we sin against someone we have a responsibility to repent of that sin. Repent simply means to "turn away from inremorse." We humbly repent, God grants grace and mercy, andJesus Christ cleanses us from that particular sin. If a particular sin, such as an unbridled tongue or laziness, has become a longstanding habit for you then it will take much diligence and perseverance on your part before you seen fruits of repentance. This will take much work to develop. Mrs. Peace calls it, "A Process of Diligence." Along with the following tables, she writes on page 23:
“Not all sin is as devastating to a marriage relationship as the previous example of immorality, but any sin will erode the oneness that God intends for Christian couples to have. All Christians bring into marriage old sinful habit patterns of thinking and responding that hurt their marriage and grieve their Lord. Repentance is a process that usually involves more than just confessing to God and your spouse. It may take work and time. That's why we are instructed in Scripture to "disicpline yourself for the purpose of godliness" (I Timothy 4:7)
Our English words gymnyst, gymnastics, and gymnasium all come from the Greek root word that is used here in this passage for"discipline." The word is gymnazo and it means"to exercise or to train." It carries with it the ideaof doing something over and over again until it becomes a habit and you get it right. How great an Excellent Wife you become depends on how hard you work at it. Old habits die hard. Daily and consciously we have to be aware of our old patterns and our old nature. We must learn to be "transformed by the renewing of our minds." (Romans 12:2) As we humbly acknowledge our needs before God He will grant us grace and by His Holy Spirit He will supernaturally enable us. Being an Excellent Wife will soon become second nature and an automatic response. This is taught in Ephesians chapter four and Colossians three and is illustrated in the following table:

The Biblical Process of Change
PUT OFF
PUT ON
"...put aside the old self" Eph. 4:22 "...put on the new self." Eph 4:24
"Lay aside falsehood..." Eph 4:25 "..speak truth, each one of you, with his neighbor." Eph 4:25
"Let him who steals steal no longer." Eph 4:28 "Let him labor that he may share with those in need." Eph 4:28
"Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you..." Eph 4:31 "And be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has forgiven you." Eph 4:32

The desires of our hearts are displayed by our open sin. This happens because what you wantin life is determined by how you talkto yourself. Please understand, we are not talking"Christian psychology" here nor "behavior modification." But what we are presenting is very biblical in that the only way to glorify God with your life is to learn tothink according to His Word. (Romans 12:2) This next table shows some ways that we, as Christian wives, might think wrong in contrast with the godly thoughts that we should "put-on."

WRONG, SINFUL THOUGHTS RIGHT, GODLY THOUGHTS
1. "I hate him!" 1. "I don't feel love for him right now, but I choose to love him by responding in a kind way."
2. "There is no hope for this marriage!" 2. "If he repents, there is nothing that I cannot forgive and that we cannot work through."
3. "I can't be what God wants me to be because my husband is not a righteous man." 3. "He may be a complete failure before God, but I do not have to be. I can be pleasing to God whether he is or not."
4. "I can't take the pressure any more!" 4. "I can take the pressure since, "There is no temptation but such as is common to man and God is faithful who will not allow me to be pressured beyond what I am able..." I Corinthians 10:13
5. "I wish I could be with my friend's husband. He's so kind to her." 5. "Thank you Lord for my husband. What can I do to show him that he is special to me?
6. "I don't dare tell him what I am thinking. If I do, he will think badly of me." 6. "I can learn to speak the truth in love. God will give me the grace to respond to his reaction whatever it is."
7. "I wish he would leave me alone." 7. "Thank you Lord for a husband who does want to be with me."
8. "If he loved me, he would be romantic." 8. "Love does not seek its own (way). What can I do to show love to him?" (I Corinthians 13:5)

Learning to change our sinful thoughts is really a very simple process. 1. We must recognize our sinful thoughts. They may manifest themselves inselfish motives, unloving ways, bitterness or even vengeance. 2. We must confess them to God. Confessing simply means "agreeing with God." 3.However, true repentance requires a change of mind. This is where you must learn to put into practice the actions of replacing ungodly thoughts with biblical, God-honoring ones. 4. Be patient and give yourself time. You will not become an ExcellentWife overnight. It takes time and hard work but the fruits of your labor will be worth every minute that you invested.

In summarizing Chapter 3, Mrs. Peace writes on page 26:
"Thus we've seen that sin can be hidden or open. It is a universal characteristic of fallen man. Only the sinless Son of God, Jesus Christ, could have provided a means to satisfy God's righteous demands against sin. God does all of the work of man's salvation. Salvation is by His grace, not based on any merits (however "kind") within man. God's provision for sin begins at the cross and continues with "grace to help" us grow and mature as Christians (Hebrews 4:16). With God's grace, we can work diligently at "putting off" wrong, sinful thoughts and "putting on" biblically right thoughts and actions."
...conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay upon earth; knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers, but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ." I Peter 1:17-18
strong>Taken from "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace, pp 22-26.Copyright 1999, Focus Publishing, Bemidji, Minnesota. Used withpermission for the purposes of this devotional series only. May not be reproduced or forwarded without the express consent of the publisher.

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