For example:
Many experts say you should never let a baby "cry it out".
Responding to your child's cries is biologically correct. As mothers, we are "programmed" by nature to respond to our crying infant. Babies cry for a reason, it is the only way they can communicate their needs to you.
A mother should always respond to her baby's cries because it is how you get to know your baby, you will begin to learn what each cry means. If a crying child is left unnattended for long periods of time, they do, infact, "learn" to not cry. This is so sad because now the child cannot count on you, it's mother, to respond to his or her need.
This will also desensitize a mother to her baby and creates a distance between the two. The bond of communication is gone. Do not be afraid of spoiling a baby, it is impossible to do. You are here to listen to your childs cries, to hear what they are trying to tell you. Just think if you couldn't talk,how would you covey to others that you are hungry, tired, thirsty, lonely, or scared? It is definitly something to think about...
We use a family bed because it is the only way my husband and I can get ample rest. It also gives Zachary a sense of comfort knowing that mom and dad are close by. Zachary would never sleep in his own bed...beginning day one in the hospital. We tried the "let him cry it out" method several times, thinking he'd 'learn' to sleep alone in his bed. Many people suggested we "spoiled him and held him too much, that's why he won't sleep in his bed." and "Just let him cry, he's a baby, he needs to cry"! This is definitly an old fashioned way of thinking. After discovering a seies of Dr. William Sears' books, we knew we were not wrong in our parenting instincts. We decided to try the family bed. It worked! Anyway, we couldn't stand to listen to his helpless little wails in the other room. We just knew this was not right and there must be a better way. Zachary has been sleeping pretty much all night ever since. He awakens to nurse approximatly 3 times a night, since we share a bed, I do not have to get up to get him. He just nurses while I sleep. It is very convenient. We recommend this Nightime Nurturing to anyone who has problems with not getting enough sleep. Although, we know this lifestyle is not for everyone, it's definitly worth a try! Another reason to share sleep wth your child is that it may decrease the chances of your child dying from SIDS. I once read somewhere that when your baby is in the womb, it's breathing of the amniotic fluid is regulated by the steady beat of the mother's heart. With each beat, it's reminded to breathe. That is why sharing sleep with your child may decrease SIDS, while sleeping close to you, your child hears your heart beat and remembers to breathe. Read about
Our Family's Nightime Routine
"Wearing your child" is an excellent way to bond, especially in those first few months. It also helps your baby feel secure and loved. You carry this child in your body for nine months, where they are warm, secure, and eased by the sound of your heart beating. You cannot expect them to adjust to "the outside world" immediatly! Close bodily contact between mother and child, or even father and child, are excellent ways to welcome your baby into his/her new world.
You may also notice that your baby may cry a lot less while you are holding them frequently in a sling, snugli, or your arms. There is a study that was just released on this very subject. It said that the more physical stimulation an infant recieves, the better they will be able to handle stress as adults.
Breastfeeding with child-led weaning. Now this can be a bit of a controversial subject. I'll tell you my experience first.
Before Zachary was born, I knew that I definitly wanted to nurse him for at least 6-8 weeks. Then, after six weeks, I moved my goal up to six months, then, after six months, I knew one year would be great. Well...after Zachary reached the one year mark, I decided to just let him wean himself when his body knows it is ready.
Now, before you start making quick judgements, let me just say that if you've never breastfed a baby, you will probably not understand nursing a toddler. It is one of the most incredible bonds you can have with your child. America has a different viewpoint of breastfeeding. Unfortunatly, most Americans think nursing past six months is too long. For some reason they view breastfeeding as something sexual. That's just not the case. Why do you think God gave women breasts?? It's amazing how God designed us to feed, comfort, and love our children from our breasts.
If you wean your child too quickly, it can be very devistating to him/her. It is also a shock to their little bodies and immune systems. They need the immunities that come from breastmilk. Their bodies let them know when they do not need these immunities from breastmilk any longer. The World Health Organization released a study that said it's the lucky baby who's breastfed for two years. The human body is designed to naturally wean from breastmilk anywhere from the ages of 1-3. In cases where families have many allergy problems, a child may not wean untill they are four, or even five years of age. Their bodies are telling them they need the immunities from breastmilk to prevent allergy problems. The worldwide average of weaning a breastfed child is 4.5 years.
Nurturing Magazine:Society, Culture and Extended Breastfeeding
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Here are two excellent articles on extended breastfeeding:
Benefits of Extended Breastfeeding
