MOST FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: HOW DO THE REINDEER FLY AND HOW DO YOU GO UP AND DOWN THE CHIMNEY?
A: ONCE A YEAR THE LITTLE PEOPLE ALLOW ME TO USE THEIR ABILITIES. PIXIES
HAVE THE ABILITY TO LEVITATE. GNOMES AND DWARFS HAVE THE ABILITY TO ADJUST
THEIR SIZE. WHEN I USE THESE ABILITIES, ANYTHING I AM TOUCHING IS ALSO
AFFECTED. SO ACTUALLY THE REINDEER DO NOT FLY. I MAKE THEM LEVITATE THEN
THEY CONTROL SPEED AND DIRECTION BY BODY MOVEMENTS. THE SAME FOR ENTERING
A HOUSE. I CAN GET VERY SMALL AND FIT THROUGH CRACKS, MAIL BOXES, WINDOW
OPENINGS, HEATER VENTS, ETC. PERSONALLY I USE THE CHIMNEY AS A LAST RESORT.
CHIMNEYS ARE MESSY STUFF.
Q: HOW DO YOU GIVE PRESENTS TO ALL THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD IN JUST
ONE NIGHT AND WHEN AM I TOO OLD TO GET PRESENTS FROM YOU?
A: I DON'T. THAT IS JUST FABLE. LET ME EXPLAIN JUST WHAT I DO. FIRST
OF ALL, TO ME, CHILDREN COME IN ALL AGES FROM 0 - 150. ALL OF US HAVE OUR
CHILD INSIDE. SOME, SADLY, JUST HIDE IT WHEN THEY GET OLDER. SECOND, THE
GIFTS I GIVE USUALLY HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH TOYS OR PHYSICAL POSSESSIONS.
THIRD, I ONLY GIFT CHILDREN THAT NEED, WANT, AND DESERVE MY ATTENTION.
THAT IN ITSELF ELIMINATES A LOT OF CHILDREN. THE REST OF THE CHILDREN I
DO FOR OVER THE ENTIRE YEAR. TRUE I SOMETIMES GIVE A PRESENT OR TOY, BUT
SOMETIMES THE CHILD NEEDS HELP WITH A PROJECT OR PERSONAL PROBLEM. I THEN
DO WHAT I CAN TO HELP OR ARRANGE HELP FOR THEM. SOMETIMES WHAT THEY REALLY
NEED IS A HUG OR UNDERSTANDING. OTHER TIMES IT COULD BE DISCIPLINE OR GUIDANCE.
SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE LOVE OR HOPE OR JUST A PAT ON THE BACK FOR SELF
RECOGNITION. THESE ARE ALL IMPORTANT AND VALUABLE GIFTS FROM THE HEART
THAT I GIVE WHEN EVER AND WHERE EVER I MEET CHILDREN. THE THINGS I CAN'T
DO MYSELF, I MAKE ARRANGEMENTS TO GET THE CHILD'S NEEDS TAKEN CARE OF.
THAT IS WHAT I DO. THAT IS MY JOB AS HUMAN AMBASSADOR. THEN EVERY YEAR
I TRY TO SET ASIDE TIME FOR MY VISITING SEASON. THIS IS WHEN I TRY TO SEE
AS MANY CHILDREN AS POSSIBLE TO FIND OUT THEIR NEEDS FOR THE UPCOMING YEAR
AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF THE PAST YEAR. THEN ON CHRISTMAS EVE I TAKE CARE
OF MY "SPECIAL CASES" PERSONALLY. EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS ON CHRISTMAS
EVE IS DONE THROUGH PREVIOUS ARRANGEMENTS OR BY OTHERS, IN MY NAME, TO
HONOR SANTA AND THE JOB I DO ALL YEAR LONG. VISITING SEASON AND MY CHRISTMAS
EVE ROUTE ARE JUST FOR MY PERSONAL PLEASURE. THE LITTLE PEOPLE HELP ME
ACCOMPLISH THIS AS PART OF MY REWARD FOR THE JOB I DO FOR THEM ALL YEAR
LONG.
Q: DO YOU REALLY LIVE WITH THE ELVES AT THE NORTH POLE?
A: THE REAL NAME FOR ELVES IS VENDIGUM. CALLING THEM ELVES IS LIKE
CALLING THEM A BAD NAME. THEY HAVE SEVERAL ENCAMPMENTS IN THE WORLD. THEIR
TWO LARGEST LOCATIONS ARE BOTH IN THE ARCTIC OCEAN. ONE IS ON AN ISLAND
CLOSE TO VEST SPITSBERGENAND FRANZ JOSEF LAND. THE OTHER IS OFF THE COAST
OF AXEL HEIBERG ISLAND. BOTH ARE CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE NORTH POLE TO CLAIM
IT AS HOME. THEY ALSO HAVE ONE IN THE UNITED STATES, TWO IN CANADA, THREE
IN ASIA, FOUR IN ANTARCTICA, AND SIX ALONG THE EQUATOR. MY WIFE AND I HAVE
QUARTERS IN SOME OF THEIR ENCAMPMENTS BUT WE CALL COLORADO U.S.A. HOME
AND LIVE IN A TIPI WHEN WE TRAVEL
Q: DO YOU ALWAYS WEAR A RED SUIT AND HAVE WHITE HAIR?
A: NO. DURING VISITING SEASON AND FOR ALL FORMAL OCCASIONS, SANTA ALWAYS
WEARS THE FORMAL RED IN HONOR OF CLAUS THE 5TH SANTA. THE REST OF THE TIME
I WEAR MY WORK CLOTHES. MOST SANTA'S HAIR TURNS GRAY AT AN EARLY AGE. I
DO NOT KNOW THE REASON FOR THIS. ALSO AS COLDER WEATHER SETS IN OUR HAIR
USUALLY GETS WHITER AND WHITER. PERSONALLY I USUALLY DYE MY HAIR DARK SHORTLY
AFTER CHRISTMAS. THIS WAY I CAN GO OUT IN PUBLIC WITHOUT BEING NOTICED.
I THEN REMOVE THE COLOR IN THE FALL.
Q: WHY ARE THERE SAINTS EVERYWHERE AT CHRISTMAS?
A: SOME DRESS AS SANTA FOR GREED AND PROFIT, USUALLY TO PROMOTE A BUSINESS
OR PRODUCT. OTHERS DRESS UP TO HONOR SANTA AND HIS JOB. THEN THERE ARE
A FEW I USE AS HELPERS TO MAKE MY JOB EASIER.
Q: IS YOUR WIFE A GOOD COOK AND A GOOD KISSER?
A: I NEVER KISS AND TELL AND I DO NOT WEAR A PADDED SUIT. NOTHING MORE
NEEDS TO BE SAID.
Q: WHAT IS YOUR ROLL FOR NON CHRISTIAN CHILDREN?
A: THE CHRISTIANS ADOPTED SANTA AS A CHRISTMAS IMAGE. THIS HAS A LOT
TO DO WITH NICHOLAS AND HIS ROLE IN THE CHURCH. THE TRUTH IS THAT SANTA
IS FOR ALL CHILDREN THAT NEED HIM. MANY OF THE SAINTS WERE NOT EVEN CHRISTIAN
THEMSELVES. EVERY YEAR I PERSONALLY VISIT SEVERAL JEWISH CHILDREN. MANY
LEAVE COOKIES AND MILK FOR ME BY THE MANORIAL. THERE ARE ALSO HINDU, MUSLIM,
BUDDHIST, AND SHINTO CHILDREN I VISIT EVERY YEAR.
A: NO, THE TITLE GETS HANDED DOWN OVER THE YEARS. I AM THE 13TH. HOWEVER
MOST SAINTS GET TO LIVE LONGER THAN AVERAGE HUMANS.
Q: HOW OLD ARE THE REINDEER?
A: THE AVERAGE LIFE SPAN OF REINDEER IS 15 YEARS. THE HONOR OF OF PULLING
THE CHRISTMAS SLEIGH IS HANDED DOWN, ALONG WITH THEIR NAME, TO ONE OF EACH
DEER'S OFFSPRING. THAT WAY THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A COMET, CUPID, DONNED,
BLITZED, PRANCE, DANCER, VIXEN, AND DASHER. RUEDOLPH'S NAME AND POSITION
IS ONLY HANDED DOWN TO THE OFFSPRING THAT INHERIT THE SAME DISCOLORATION
ODDITY.
Q: WHAT DO YOU, AS SANTA, WANT FOR CHRISTMAS?
A: FOR CHRISTMAS I ALWAYS GET TIME TO VISIT WITH THE CHILDREN, HELP
WITH MY CHRISTMAS GIFT GIVING, SEASONS GREETINGS WITH MY FAMILY, ALL THE
COOKIES AND GOODIES HUMANLY POSSIBLE TO EAT, AND A DAY IN A HOT TUB AFTER
CHRISTMAS. WHAT MORE COULD I ASK FOR?
Q: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COOKIE?
Q: ARE THE STORIES AND MOVIES ABOUT YOU TRUE?
A: NO, SOME ARE SLIGHTLY BASED ON TRUTH BUT ALL ARE HIGHLY STRETCHED.
MOST ARE WRITTEN BY VERY TALENTED PEOPLE WITH GREAT IMAGINATIONS THAT DO
NOT KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT SANTA AND THE LITTLE PEOPLE. HOWEVER THEY
ARE VERY GOOD STORIES THAT ARE FUN TO TELL AND LISTEN TO. THEY HAVE THEIR
PLACE AND I HOPE ARE NEVER LOST. THE MOVIE THAT COMES THE CLOSEST TO REALITY
IS THE 1ST HALF OF "SANTA THE MOVIE" WITH DULLY MORE AS A VENDIGUM. THERE
IS ALSO A BOOK ON GNOMES THAT WAS USED TO BASE THE CARTOON SERIES "DAVID
THE GNOME". I AM VERY CURIOUS AS HOW THESE AUTHORS FOUND OUT SO MANY FACTS
ABOUT SANTA CLAUS, THE VENDIGUM, AND THE GNOMES.
Q: HOW OLD ARE THE ELVES?
A: VENDIGUM LIVE TO AN AVERAGE AGE OF 375 YEARS.
Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW IF I'VE BEEN GOOD OR BAD?
A: I HAVE SEVERAL WAYS, BUT MOSTLY I CAN TELL BY YOUR EYES. EYES NEVER
LIE.
A: I NEVER HO HO HO. I LAUGH A LOT. MANY WRITERS INDICATE LAUGHTER
IN THAT WAY, BUT THAT IS NOT A DIRECT QUOTE. EVEN WHEN ASKED TO HO HO HO,
I REFUSE. I'M AFRAID FAKING A HO HO HO MIGHT SCARE SOME CHILDREN. ALSO
THAT WOULDN'T BE HONEST TO FAKE IT.
Q: ARE YOU THE KING OF THE ELVES AND HOW MANY ELVES WORK FOR
YOU?
A: NO I'M NOT KING ALTHOUGH MANY CHILDREN MAKE ME FEEL LIKE ONE. ACTUALLY
I'M JUST A GLORIFIED DELIVERY BOY. FORTUNATELY, IN THE WORLD OF THE LITTLE
PEOPLE, NO ONE OR NO ONES JOB IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANOTHER. WE ALL RELY
ON EACH OTHER EQUALLY. IN REALITY I AM THE ONE THAT WORKS FOR THE LITTLE
PEOPLE NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
A: THAT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CALL RICH. IN MONEY AND MATERIAL POSSESSIONS
MY FAMILY AND I LIVE FAR BELOW POVERTY LEVEL BY U.S.A. STANDARDS. WE MEASURE
WEALTH BY OUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, LOVE, AND TIME TO DEVOTE TO THESE THINGS.
BY THAT STANDARD I AM A VERY WEALTHY MAN. THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN MONEY.
Q: DO YOU REALLY KNOW FROSTY, THE GRINCH, THE SNOW KING, JACK
FROST, ETC.?
A: THESE ARE ALL STORY CHARACTERS THAT LIVE ONLY IN ONES IMAGINATION.
HOWEVER I HAVE SEVERAL FRIENDS THAT REMIND ME OF THESE CHARACTERS AND WE
HAVE NICK NAMED THEM ACCORDINGLY. SO IN A WAY I REALLY DO KNOW THEM.
A: I COULD COME UP WITH A HUNDRED EXCUSES LIKE: FATTY TISSUE KEEPS
ME WARM IN THE WINTER; BEING ROBUST MAKES ME LOVABLE; FAT IS WHERE IT'S
AT, BUT THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT I LIKE TO EAT YUMMY THINGS. BEING
PLUMP IS THE PRICE ONE MUST PAY IF HE IS GOING TO PLAY THAT GAME.
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