Well, I could start off with the usual “The CFC Christian Life Program (CLP) is a…blah, blah, blah,” but then you’d probably be leaving this page already even before you reach the period at the end of this sentence. So, I opt instead to relate to you the interesting chain of events that have led us to this conclusion.

Let’s backtrack to 1996 when Mon’s sister (Rosemarie) and her husband (Charlie Magat) graduated from a CLP. That was the first time I learned that the Catholic Church (finally) had a movement aimed at reviving and nourishing the faith of couples united in holy matrimony. But then, so what? Big deal.

Fast-forward: five months later. They were recruiting us to join the next CLP. Naturally, our reaction was ‘Thanks, but no thanks. We don’t need it.’

We fast-forward again to the following year for the next CLP and a new round of ‘pangungulit.’ Again, we didn’t think we needed it. And the same thing happened for the next CLP and for the one after that. And for all those instances, we really did not see why we had to join. Hey, we went to Church every Sunday, we said our bedtime prayers every night, and we try to live good, morally upright lives. Wasn’t that enough?, we thought.

Now we move on to July of last year. I don’t remember what the occasion was (it was somebody’s birthday, I think) but I do remember that Mon and I were sitting in the company of some CFC members. All of them were egging us to attend the upcoming CLP, and it was really starting to get on my nerves. But one of them was commendable in his attempt at recruiting. He wasn’t putting any pressure at all. Nor was he vaguely rattling off some distant benefits we would get if we should join. He was just gently and patiently persuading us to visit the CLP—kahit na daw yung orientation lang kasi siya daw yung magiging unit head namin (sino kaya ‘yon?). Finally, finally, FINALLY, out of exasperation, we decided to take that first step and attended the orientation (read: just to get them to please STOP bugging us!)

So, 28 August 1998, 8:00 p.m., we were in Church listening to Bro. Boyet Palisoc deliver his welcome speech to us newcomers. He was a delightful speaker, very enthusiastic and enlivened. But I remember being so impatient during the entire talk. During the question and answer portion, I was even petulant enough to ask how much time people actually HAD to invest into this thing!

What did create a deep impression on me during that first attendance, though, was the warmth of the people who welcomed me. There was something in them…I wasn’t quite sure what…something really sincere that seemed to say ‘Hey! We’re all glad to see you could come!’

That night, on our way home, Mon and I discussed what we just experienced and decided to give it a try.

As fate would have it, we were unable to attend the next two talks (due to prior engagements) but Bro. Norman Velasquez, our unit head, together with Bro. Louie and Sis. Evelyn Salonga (the couple whom, we would find out later, would be our household head) were quick to follow-up and support us to encourage us to attend the upcoming talks. (That’s another nice thing about this organization…you really feel that you are a necessary part in forming a whole family.)

So, in the third talk, we came to know how a typical CLP meet is usually held. First, of course, there are prayers and songs (which are typical of any Catholic organization’s meeting. How else would you talk to Him, right?). Then a speaker would come up to talk about a particular topic (from ‘how to be Christian’ to ‘how to establish a Christian family’, etc.). There are 12 topics to cover during each CLP with a different speaker assigned to each topic. We were lucky during our CLP because all the speakers were really good. After the speaker’s talk, we break down into groups of four or five couples (called households) with the husbands separate from their wives for discussions. (Mon confessed that at first he thought it was all bolahan, but, in retrospect, it was actually a good exercise in venting the frustrations and problems that confronted us every day, and in finding pragmatic solutions for facing them.)

I would like to mention here that there was one particular topic that really got to me—the one that dwelt on the Holy Spirit. I remember the discussion for that topic had to be held on a Saturday night (we generally had the talks on Fridays) because it rained hard the previous night. On that particular Saturday afternoon, I was at home putting my son to sleep when my eyes fell on the Bible. Being in a ‘holier than thou’ mood, I picked it up, opened it, and my eyes fell on Luke 11—the one that went ‘seek and you shall find, knock and the door shall be opened.’ And that verse got me into thinking…and praying (feeling ‘close to the Lord’ nga ako eh). ‘So, okay, Lord,’ I thought. ‘I’m knocking and I’m seeking, but how come I don’t feel any different? How come it seems that you don’t hear me? How come I still don’t feel ‘spiritually enlightened?’ Just then, my son woke up so I couldn’t continue my dialogue (monologue?) with Him.

That night, when I sat down to listen to the speaker, that verse in Luke 11 was the exact verse that the speaker quoted in his talk. Furthermore, he was saying that our spiritual growth wouldn’t be whole without the help of the Holy Spirit. Talk about answering my questions! As he was talking, I was getting goosebumps! I was having one of those ‘a-ha!’ experiences—as if a light was suddenly turned on from inside me. But then, another thought came to my mind. Okay, so here’s the Holy Spirit willing to help me grow. Now, why on earth would the Spirit want to help me? Sino ako para makatanggap ng ganitong regalo? And then, as if the speaker was reading my mind, he said ‘Of course, there are some things that would hinder us from receiving this wonderful gift. One is the feeling of unworthiness, the feeling that we don’t deserve it.’

At that point, it was all I could take. It was as if I could hear Him talking directly to me! I started sobbing quietly. The speaker went on to say that thoughts of unworthiness should never enter our minds. The whole point of Him dying on the cross was to make us worthy because He loves us so much. Okay…tumbukan ba talaga ang dibdib ko! I quietly stood up and started crying outside the hall. It was then that I fully realized how good He really is…that He would always be with me wherever I am and wherever I’ll go. Why? Because He loves me…plain and simple. It was also then that I understood His call for people who will serve Him, follow Him, and help Him carry His burden. It must have been a full fifteen minutes before I was able to go back. Nakakadyahe nga eh…my eyes were swollen, which meant I must have looked like a frog. Pero, never mind…it was an eye-opener for me. Actually, I could say that about all the talks that I heard…they were all incredibly good eye-openers, especially for mediocre Christians like me.

So, the talks went on. And so did the learning and the growing. And finally, on 27 November 1998, we were declared graduates of the CLP during our Lord’s Day Celebration (which was more than ably hosted by the one and only [thank goodness!] Bro. Deo Camaya).

Of course, right now, I still can’t say I’m 100 percent good and holy, or that nothing bad happens to me anymore. I still confront the same everyday problems, and I still experience moments when I’m weak and I fumble, and grumble and do the wrong things; the difference is that now I KNOW and I’m more aware of Somebody up there who’s always looking out for me and will always be there to help me no matter what. It’s a nice feeling, di ba? Clearly, our CLP is an experience I shall always cherish.

Now, after the initial euphoria of graduating from the CLP has settled down and I have time to look back on how I’ve grown closer to Him, I find it funny when I recall how I got into this in the first place. I came in looking for an excuse to make people stop bugging me, and now I’ve come out looking for people to bug—to share with them and make them experience the wonderful feeling of knowing HIM—not just from the sidelines, but front and center! And as for you, why not try it? Step into a CLP and experience a close encounter of the best kind—the one with Him!

Your friend in Christ,

Iris C. De Guzman