"When upon life*s billows you are tempest tossed, When you are discouraged thinking all is lost, Count your many blessings name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."

It is true that in life we encounter difficulties. There are times we become anxious and hopeless because of the sufferings we face. But when the Lord is with us, we will not be discouraged or feel hopeless. As children of God if we continue to trust in His guidance and assistance, difficult situations become opportunities for growth and renewal. As Hudson Taylor said:" The lessons that God wants us to learn in suffering are more important that the suffering itself."

I would like to share with you some of the lessons the Lord taught me through suffering. In October 1986, I was diagnosed to have nose cancer and I went to Singapore from Sabah, Malaysia for treatment for about two months. During that period, I received chemotherapy thirty -three times. Upon completion of the treatment, I went back to Sabah. For about four years I was in remission and everything went on well with me.

In April 1991, I was diagnosed to have cancer again and this time it was on my breast. At first , it was hard for me to accept this fact and tears filled my eyes. No one could understand the sadness and pain deep down in my heart. But compared to the experience Job went through, mine was not as bad. When I read what Eliphaze, Job*s friend said, "Yet man is born to trouble as surly as sparks fly upon .But if it were I, I would appeal to God, I would lay my cause before Him." (Job 5:7-8) I immediately committed myself to Him, trusting that He will carry me through.

In July 1992, I went through two operations to remove the right breast. The medical report showed that the cancer had not spread to the other parts of the body. For that I must give thanks to the Lord. I was given chemotherapy again and the experience was not very pleasant.

A month later, my husband accompanied me to Kuala Lumpur, the Capital City of Malaysia, for treatment. According to the instruction of the doctor, I needed to have twenty-five treatment sessions followed by other medical examinations. In the third week, I found lumps in my left breast as well. After an X-Ray was done, two tumours were discovered and another operation was needed.

On October 9,I was wheeled into the operating theater by the nurse. I was very calm because I had committed myself to the Lord. As Isaiah said, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." (Is 26:3) As I went through the preparation for the operation and even in the process of the operation and even in the process of the operation, I deeply sensed the presence of the Lord with me. Even as I walked through the valley of death, I feared no evil, for the Lord was with me. Suddenly, I heard a lot of noise when I regained consciousness. The nurse asked me to lift up my head but I could not do it even though I understood what I was told. My mouth trembled violently. I could not move my body and oxygen was administered through my mouth.

It dawned upon me that the Lord led me through this suffering so that I can comfort and help those who are in need. I said to the Lord, " Thank you Lord for giving me another chance to live ." Otherwise, I would not be able to see my husband, my child, family members, brothers and sisters in this life. God has given me back my life and He must have His good purpose in this. May I fully surrender my life to Him. Through these experience the greatness of God - - His care, presence and healing power. I give thanks to God for allowing me to face practical challenges in life that have helped me to become more mature in my journey of faith. At the same time, He is helping me to go forward bravely, trusting in Him without ceasing.

During my illness, cards and letters were sent to me from afar. My heart was deeply touched and comforted. Concern, love and prayers of brothers and sisters have been my strength. They also brought joy and gladness to my heart. Care and concern from the family members kept my heart warm. Doctors, therapists, pulls and therapy have been a great help to me too, All these blessings built my strength, gave me courage to face difficulties, to conquer the illness, to be able to sing a triumphant song of praise and to give glory to the living God.

After spending four long months in Kuala Lumpur to complete the treatment, I was finally able to go home. I can only trust in God to bring about complete healing in the days ahead. Two passages in the Bible helped me a lot.

"A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out."

(Is 42:3a)

Even though I cannot understand why I have been afflicted with cancer so many times, undergo three operations and some fifty-eight times chemotherapy treatment; I will commit my life to the Lord completely. In life and in death may God be magnified. I know that God has a beautiful plan for my life and for my family." For He will complete what He has appointed for me and many such things are in His mind" I can say to the Lord, even though the tempest strikes me again and again .I shall not fear. I only need to trust in the Lord firmly. The ocean may dry, the rock may rot, but I shall love the Lord, follow Him and be faithful to Him. Through submitting myself to the will of God in all things I no longer depend on my own effort but trust in the Lord who can raise even the dead. At the same time I am being prepared to be a comfort and help to others.

Sufferings are very difficult to endure in life, but through these trails, our life in Jesus Christ may be purified in accordance to God*s will. At the same time we will have peace when we patiently trust and submit to the Lord, giving thanks to Him. These are precious spiritual lessons that also propel us in our journey of faith. May the Lord strengthen your faith and mine as well through my testimony. Whenever we count God*s blessings we will be surprised and filled with joy!

Note:

This written work was first published on "Fishers" - Singapore, in year 1995.

At that time Suat Wah (Mrs Chong) was with her husband who was doing his graduate studies at Berkeley,CA.USA.

Now they are doing their Pastoral work at Tuaran, Sabah, Malaysia.