Al-Anon What it means to Relatives and

Friends of Alcoholics

While most of us know that alcoholism is a disease, too few recognize it as a "family disease" which may affect three or four people in each home emotionally, spiritually and often physically.

A-Anon gives us the assurance that no situation it to difficult and no unhappiness to great to be overcome. With the understanding that alcoholism is a disease, and with the realization that we are powerless over it, as well as over other people, we are ready to do something useful and constructive with our own lives. Only than can we be of help to others.

Without spiritual help, living with a problem drinker is too much for most of us. We become nervous, irritable, and resentful. Our thinking becomes distorted. A change in our attitude may of boundless help and is often the force for good that finally inspires an alcoholic to seek help.

The program, which is also a spiritual way of life is based on the suggested Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Study of this program and its Twelve Steps will strengthen you for the solving of many difficult problems.

Twenty questions most often asked

1. What is Alcoholism?

It is a threefold disease affecting the body, the mind and the spirit.

2. How can the family help an alcoholic?

By adopting the Al-Anon program we can stop trying to reform the alcoholic, whom we can NOT change, and turn our attention to ourselves, whom we can change.

3. What is Al-Anon?

A fellowship made up of relatives and friends of alcoholics, who hope to solve their common problems by sharing experience and increasing their knowledge and understanding of themselves and the alcoholic.

4. What can we do to help an alcoholic stop drinking?

By changing our own attitude we provide a healthier environment for the whole family, including the alcoholic. Very often this helps him realize his own condition, and this may lead him to Alcoholics Anonymous.

5. How can we change our attitudes?

a. By following the Al-Anon program, its Steps, Traditions, Slogans and prayers.

b. By attempting to understand the disease of alcoholism and its effect on us.

c. By attending meetings regularly.

6. Should we serve drinks at home?

This is an individual matter. It may seem advisable not to at the beginning of sobriety. Depends on the alcoholic's reaction.

7. Should we accept invitations to gatherings where drinks are served?

Let the alcoholic decide for himself and you decide for yourself.

8. Should we stop drinking?

If it makes any difference to the alcoholic it might be advisable, but some some alcoholics prefer others to drink as usual.

9. Is there a time when we can talk to our alcoholic about his drinking or any other serious problem?

This, in most... cases , must be "played by ear." Many have found him to be more accessible after a heavy drinking bout. You, yourselves, however, must be calm and detached whenever any problems are discussed.

10. Should we coddle our alcoholics?

No. The more attention he gets, the less he will do for himself, and the longer he will go on drinking.

11. Will our troubles be over when the alcoholic stops drinking?

Don't expect too much too soon. Progress from illness to health takes a long time, and not all problems are caused by alcoholism.

12. Will we need Al-Anon after the alcoholic has stopped drinking?

Yes. The adjustment to a normal husband-wife relationship, and all family relationships, can be aided by the tolerance and understanding gained through Al-Anon.

13. Are we sick, too?

Yes. Bill W. has described alcoholism as a contagious disease. It is well to remember that you are suffering from the effects of the disease.

14. What responsibilities can an alcoholic take?

Few until he has stopped drinking. Some alcoholics can assume responsibilities more quickly then others, but the abilities of an alcoholic who has achieved sobriety may be limitless.

15. How can we help the alcoholic after he stops drinking?

By giving him love and understanding because he needs it so desperately.

16. What is a "dry drunk?"

When an alcoholic, who has not been drinking, gets into a state of mind ordinarily associated with alcohol, he is said to be having a :dry drunk." It often occurs at the beginning of sobriety and is not unusual later. Non-alcoholics can have emotional dry-drunks, too.

17. Do we. in Al-Anon have slips?

Yes. Habits are hard to break, and sometimes we slip back into old ways of thinking and acting. Keeping in touch with Al-anon by means of telephone, Al-Anon literature, or attending meetings is an insurance against slips.

18. How can we keep the alcoholic away from his drinking companions?

Don't try to.

19. How do we keep from getting discouraged?

a. Through faith in God and the program.

b. Through keeping busy and helping others.

c. Through prayer.

20. How can we achieve serenity?

a. By keeping an open mind at meetings, thereby gaining knowledge and strength from the group.

b. By adopting only what is most suitable to us, personally, from the Twelve Steps, Twelve Traditions, the Serenity Prayer, and the slogans.

c. By learning to "Let go and let God;" by emotionally detaching ourselves from the alcoholic with love on our hearts and with trust in God.

One Day At a Time

The alcoholic who has found AA is constantly reminded that he needs only to stay sober one day at a time. Today, for him, as for us, is the key word.

The ancient Persian poet Omar says:

:Unborn Tomorrow and dead Yesterday, Why fret about them if TODAY be sweet!"

Our business is to make today sweet-full of achievement, improvement, interesting activity. If we concentrate on Today in this way, we'll have no time for brooding over dead yesterdays, or worrying about what tomorrow will bring. One thing we can be sure of- if we do our best today, our tomorrows will certainly be better then our yesterdays.

Anyone can meet the problems of just one day at a time. It is only when we add the awful burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we are raking on more trouble then we can cope with.

It is not what happens today that is beyond our powers to endure, it is remorse or bitterness for things that happened yesterday, and dread of what tomorrow will bring.

Let us remind ourselves, each morning, that we will live this one day ass fully and confidently as we can, and let God take care of the rest.