Subject: changing a light blub *
First, I look up.
I notice that there are bugs in the light fixture.
I just hate dead bugs in the light fixture.
Then I notice that there are some burned-out light blubs up there, too.
So I am going to wash that light fixture when I change the blub.
B u t... I don't have any light blubs.
So I put it on my list.
You know, the list in my handy dandy day book planner thingie.
Then I go to the store.
I buy jello, cheese, and some pop rocks.
I look at the toys.
Then I go to the library and check out some books.
I get home and I look up.
There are those danged bugs again, and those burned-out blubs.
Sheesh! I forgot the light blubs.
I forgot to take the handy dandy day book planner thingie.
I make a special trip to the store.
I stop at Backo Tell for a bean burrito
I go in the store for one thing.
I come out with some new, aqua-colored free weights.
On the way home, I remember the handy dandy day book planner thingie.
So I put it in the car, so I don't forget it next time.
A week goes by, and I get hungry again.
So I go to the store.
I look at the office supplies.
I buy a new clipboard to keep my list on.
I get some new clicker pencils and a book of jokes.
Oh, and this time I remember the 60W light blubs. (Yah! me)
I am laying (or is it lying?) on the floor reading my new joke book
And I notice there are bugs in the light fixture.
I just hate dead bugs in the light fixture.
Then I notice that there are some burned out light blubs in the there,
too.
So when I finish reading the book
(Wanna hear a good joke?)
I climb up on a chair and unscrew the globe around the light blub.
I take it to the kitchen sink to wash it.
While I am washing out the bugs,
My hand gets stuck inside the globe.
I yank it off with my other hand,
And a big chunk breaks out of the side of the globe.
So I write it on the list
(you know, the one on the clipboard)
"Buy a new globe."
I put the clipboard in the car.
The next time I go to town
I go to the electric light store.
The one with all the pretty light fixtures in the window.
They don't have a globe like mine.
I go to the hardware store,
The electrical supply store
The wholesale construction parts store
and K-mart.
I finally find a globe like mine at a yard sale
That I passed on my way home
From getting a bean burrito
At Backo Tell.
I take it in the kitchen,
I put it in the sink
I carefully wash it.
I climb back on the chair.
Ooops, I forgot to get the light blub.
So I get the 60W light blub
Unscrew the burned out one,
And my hands are full.
So I get off the chair,
Lay down the burned out blub
I screw in the new 60W blub
As a fly buzzes around my head.
Then I put my freshly-washed yard sale globe
Back on the light fixture,
I screw the screws back in.
And vow never to look up again.
Well, how do *you* do it?
feetnotes:
*
(Hey, I know I spelled it wrong,
but I like it like that.
I may be nuts, but I am not stupid.)