Small Town Tidbits

* Two years ago, my town adopted a uniform code for numbering houses and streets in order to gain 911 access. The prior code did not even have a 400 block on one of our streets. Several of the "old timers" were not happy about the new city ordinance ordering everyone to post their new numbers on their homes. One gentleman obeyed the ordinance by posting his new numbers (very small) on his home, but then he painted his old house numbers all over his house, fence, curb, etc! One woman was reported to having had a heart attack and dying due to the stress of having a new address (most people have forgotten that she drank heavily for years and was not in the best of health).

* The district I live in is currently trying to pass a local bond issue to build a new middle school beside the local high school to alieviate the overcrowding. Bond issues such as this are always contraversial, but this one has become very humorous (at least to those of us who look for the truth behind every statement). One letter I received from a citizen who is opposed to the bond stated that these junior high girls, being in such close proximity to the high schoolers, would begin "dating" junior and senior boys (he obviously doesn't know that these kids already ride the school bus together ). The last election was held as a special election at the high school. I received yet another "opposition" letter, explaining how it was going to cost the district's citizens $16,000 to vote in this election from time taken off work and gas. My question: how did he come up with this amount?

* Last year, one of the recreational directors for a neighboring town was dragging the ball diamonds, preparing them for the kids to play their baseball games. One woman complained to him, stating that his work was making her house dusty. The second time he was working the fields, this same woman threatened her with a 2'x4'. The law was called in, and the responding officer told the recreation director that the next time the woman complained, he would be arrested. This season, in order to avoid the past year's conflicts, the recreation department took their concerns over not being allowed to prepare the ball diamond to the city council. The council's response? "Sorry, there is nothing we can do." This season, the kids are playing all their games out of town.

*My husband is the local dog catcher (excuse me, Animal Control Officer!) The phone rings at all hours, from upset people who have an unwanted stray in their yard and want it picked up NOW! One particular phone call occured at 5:00 am. My husband had already left for work, so I answered the phone. The lady on the other end informed me that there was an approximate 4 month old puppy on her doorstep. It wasn't barking, it wasn't scratching at the door. It was just sitting there. The reason she was so upset is 1) She keeps her dogs in a dog run at all times, and so should other people (which I agree with), and 2) Her dog had just had puppies, and she didn't want this puppy to get her dog pregnant again(?).

*Last year, our local volunteer firedepartment went out on an extraordinary number of grass fires. Suspicions began to arise when it was discovered that our department was going out on ten runs to every run made by other departments in the area. One member of our firedepartment continuously arrived at the station before any other firefighters, often having the trucks running, the doors open, and in full gear before anyone else arrived. Investigators discovered that this individual had coerced some friends into starting fires so that he could experience the thrill of "putting them out". His trial is pending.

*These are all true stories!

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