* Only the child with sixty-four crayons will spill them.

* The only paints which spill on clothing are those colors that will not come out.

* The brush you find upside down in the brush can is certain to be full of paint.

* The child who is most likely to cry is most likely to break his clay pot.

* The child frantically waving his hand during your Michaelangelo lecture wants to talk about a missing tooth.

* The only question pertaining to your VanGogh lecture will be in reference to his ear.

* The fire marshall always makes his inspection on the day you're melting crayons for crayon-batik.

* The child with the best weaving technique will have the worst sense of color.

* The day you choose to introduce purple finger paints is the day a child chooses to wear the dress she plans to wear for Aunt Tillie's wedding.

* The child referring to "God and all them guys sittin' down" remembers you've talked about DaVinci's Last Supper sometimes in the distant past.

* The day you have just enough supplies for a special project, you get a new student.

* The child most insistent about using his initials on everything has obscene initials.

* Fire drills come during clay class.

* You will only be observed by your supervising principal on the day before Christmas vacation when the children are hanging from the rafters.

* Good students move away.

* New students come from schools that don't teach.

* The most dingy room in school is the faculty lounge.

* The less time you have to make copies, the more the machine will malfunction.

* Disaster will occur when you have visitors to your classroom or when you're being observed.

* The time you take to explain something is inversely proportional to the information students retain.

* Open house will fall on the night when the best shows are on television.

* The problem student will be a school board memeber's son or daughter.

* Students who are doing better are credited with working harder. If children start to do poorly, the teacher will be blamed.

* The length of the faculty meeting will be directly proportional to how boring the subject is.

* The child poking "teacher, teacher" on your back will most certainly have paint on his hands.

* The only time you're called out of class are during encaustic, raku, or string painting.

* The kid who really needs to go to the restroom will be finger painting. (submitted by Gloria)