Ruined hairdo from doing playground duty

Bad eyesight from filling out forms

Eyes bloodshot from late night escapades trying to maintain sanity

Oversized cheek bones and jaws from talking and screaming all day

Low bustline due to bending over, helping slow learners

Bad posture from bending over desks while grading papers

Pencils and pens kept in pocket to keep from being stolen

Flexible, non-stylish belt from constant expansion due to constant dieting

Tacky clothes from 30 years of low pay

Finger cancer from constant exposure to chalk dust

Handprints, chalk, and footprints on skirt

Skinny legs because of Hop-Skotch with children year after year