Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!

Here is some humor for all of the "overworked, overlooked" moms! You are always appreciated!

A kid's glossary for parent's kitchen terms

1. Appetite - that desire to eat which you are told will go away if you snack too close
to mealtime.

2. Calories - the magical ingredients that make food taste good. Enjoy them now, because
they should be limited when you grow up.

        3. Casserole - "Normal" foods mixed in an unrecognizable lump with cheese or crumbs on
                                top. A parent's argument to get you to eat it is that it all ends up in your
                                tummy anyway.

4. Chair - surface on which to fidget, drop food, and kick or rock in despite causing
stern, disapproving looks from adults.

5. Crust - the "burned" part of bread that we are told has the most nutrition but we
have to tear off before getting to the sandwich.

6. Dessert - the ultimate reward for successfully making it look like you "ate good" or
tried tasting things you did not like.

7. Fat - that clear, Jell-O like stuff surrounding the meat you've been told to eat.

8. Fork - the pointed utensil used to pierce and eat food with that obviously look like
finger food to you.

9. Fruit - often called "Nature's Candy", this is not to be confused with "real candy"

10. Healthy - a term meaning "diner beware" since the taste could be questionable.

11. Jell-O - the food which is more fun to play with than eat but where adults sometimes
hide fruit.

12. Leftovers - food you are given a second opportunity to avoid eating. If the food had
been good the first time, it's likely there wouldn't be any left over.

13. Napkin - paper folded under or wrapped around your utensils most often lost until you
are asked about it's whereabouts.

14. Peanut Butter - the sticky, nutty food parents resort to serving after you have
refused to eat anything else.

15. Pizza - a convenient treat for adults to serve yet which kids argue contains all the
basic four food groups.

16. Popcorn - a required snack at the movie theater regardless of how high the price.

17. Snack - a small meal usually consisting of kid approved favorites.

18. Straw - a drinking device parents provide to avoid spills yet which provides undesired
table entertainment once given to a kid.

19. Vegetable - a substance which was once a plant but now is all that stands between
you and dessert.

20. Water - the drink we are offered after the fruit juice and soda are gone.

MOM´S BROWNIES Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375. Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan. Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr "no, no." Add margarine to 2 cups sugar. Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards. Measure 1/3 cup cocoa. Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat. Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail. Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp.. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour. Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation. Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake. Call operator and attempt to have direct dialled call removed from bill. Measure 1 tsp.. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well. Let cat out of refrigerator. Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan. Bake 25 minutes. Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn. Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away. Frosting Mix the following in saucepan: 1 cup sugar 1 oz unsweetened chocolate 1/4 cup margarine Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away. Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put Jr in playpen. Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes. Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet. Tie Billy to clothesline. Remove burned brownies from oven.

My beautiful gift from blueEyes - Thank You so very much!

GEOCITIES