THE DEER HUNT
1:00a.m.-Alarm clock rings.
2:00a.m.-Hunting partners arrive,drag you out of bed.
2:30a.m.-Throw everything except the kitchen sink in the pickup.
3:00a.m.-Leave for the deep woods.
3:15a.m.-Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30a.m.-Drive like crazy to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00a.m.-Set up camp-forget the darn tent.
4:30a.m.-Head into the woods.
6:05a.m.-See eight deer.
6:06a.m.-Take aim and squeeze trigger
6:07a.m.-"click"
6:08a.m.-Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
8:00a.m.-Head back to camp.
9:00a.m.-Still looking for camp.
10:00a.m.-Realize you don`t know where camp is.
NOON-Fire gun for help-eat wild berries.
12:15p.m.-Ran out of bullets-eight deer come back
12:20p.m.-Strange feeling in stomach.
12:30p.m.-Realize you ate poison berries
12:45p.m.-Rescued!
12:55p.m.-Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped.
3:00p.m.-Arrive back in camp.
3:30p.m.-Leave camp to kill deer.
4:00p.m.-Return to camp for bullets.
4:01p.m.-Load gun-leave camp again.
5:00p.m.-Empty gun on squirrel that`s bugging you.
6:00p.m.-Arrive at camp,see deer grazing at camp.
6:01p.m.-Load gun.
6:02p.m.-Fire gun-hit pickup
6:05p.m.-Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06p.m.-Repress strong desire to shoot hunting partner.
6:07p.m.-Fall in fire.
6:10p.m.-Change clothes,throw burned ones onto fire.
6:15p.m.-Take pickup,leave partner and his deer in woods.
6:25p.m.-Pickup boils over-hole shot in block.
6:26p.m.-Start walking.
6:30p.m.-Stumble and fall,drop gun in mud.
6:35p.m.-Meet deer.
6:36p.m.-Take aim.
6:37p.m.-Fire gun,blow up barrel plugged with mud.
9:00p.m.-Deer departs,wrap gun around tree.
Midnight-Home at last!
Sunday-Watch football on TV,slowly tearing hunting license
 into little pieces,place in envelope,and mail hunting partner
 with precise instructions as to what he can do with it.