"Since my rededication, the entire direction in my spiritual life has been in one direction – prayer and praise. All toward Him. For me, praise starts my prayer which, in turn, gets me to the point of praise. Praise gets me to the point of more praise. (Worship will come later as I grow in Him!)
I’m not fighting this call, for who can win a battle of wills with the Holy Spirit??
I’m convinced there’s a reason why He’s let me become the musician I’ve become. I don’t know it… yet; but given what’s been my experiences as a musician and singer, and my experiences since rededication, I’m figuring it’s got something to do with praise and worship. And I’m there."
Here's the history behind my reply.
Since my rededication back to His Service (when I was stationed in Tulsa), He put fresh, hot coals in me, thus lighting a new fire for his music. The Spirit led me to join the Praise & Worship Chorus at the church I rededicated at. I learned a lot of the basics of the ministry of Praise & Worship there. I sat in on teachings, and asked "not a few" questions to various singers and musicians. The precept that was most repeated was "To lead, to minister, one must BE in the "right heart"; *I* have to praise. *I* have to be worship. Why? The people in the sanctuary (for lack of a better word) will know if you're just standing there going through the motions. And beside that, (I learned later) God pays no mind to the art of music, if there's no heart in it. God looks at the heart. He looks for faith in prayer, right? He won't respond to faithless prayer. Neither will He respond to heartless praise and worship.
The time at that church was all too short, as the Navy had to transfer me to my next (and last) duty station. Music didn't come very easily there. I did check out the regional Barbershop Chorus a few times, but, while it was fun - and familiar - the experience while "good", wasn't "the best". So I stopped trying music via that route. I didn't play or sing much. I began to miss playing music - secular or spiritual - it didn't matter. About 1.5 years later, I met someone who invited me to check out their church. I found a new "comfortable environment" church. It was a tiny church. It had started up about a half a year earlier, and I was able to find the "right frequency" (sort of like radio frequency) and was fully able to join in the praise and worship.
"This is good!" I thought to myself. I can sit out here and be a follower, listen to some good teaching and not be yelled at. However, the Spirit wouldn't let me be just that. The Spirit had other plans for me. He pointed out the obvious to me - there's some good musicians there, they all have the right heart but they lack harmony and a guitar player. In a matter of just a couple of weeks, the Spirit was really hammering me to help that praise team. That was the first time the Spirit really "hammered me" to "go". "Do it! Time's a-wastin'" It wouldn't let up.
I relented and said "okay, all right already!" and introduced myself and was invited to participate in their next practice.
I showed up at their next practice and after we fiddled around with the sound settings for having a microphone placed in front of my guitar, we started playing. The 12-string really added a fine, complimentary sound to the effort, and I sang a harmony line, which filled out the vocal efforts nicely too.
While we were in the middle of a song, the Senior Pastor came out of his office to check out the sounds. I'll never forget the expression on his face; he was so "blessed" by what he was hearing, the "ear-to-ear" smile on his face came from the inside out. We kept playing until the song was done. I think we all knew, from our heart, the team just got another member. I wound up serving, and ministering, with that team, until shortly before I retired from the Navy.
Upon our arrival to our new home, we took our time in searching for a "Home Church" - not realizing at the time, we'd already visited it. (After all, we did have to make "home" our "home", right?)(Playing music, any type of music, was impossible - as no one I knew, played any music - except for the tape deck. I had my fair share of secular tapes to play...) We checked out a church here or there, only to find we'd be preached at and yelled at, (we don't need preaching - that's for unbelievers; Believers need TEACHING. We don't need to be yelled at because that makes it hard to hear what the pastor is saying) or, if we weren't, we were at a type of church we were at in Louisiana; we didn't want to go to that type of church again - as we come from a more, (how do I say this without offending you, the reader of this?) older biblical point of view; we endeavor to (and it's very hard) find and stick to those who seek "His Word, (taught) as holy men spake as they were moved by the Holy Spirit" and follow as little as possible, man's doctrine that's became "holy doctrine" - via point of sword. The previous place of worship, held too much, in some areas, man's doctrine. (Like I said, it's very hard...)
However, we kept visiting this one particular church - when we weren't checking out other churches in the area.
In the mean time, I wasn't working, and had taken drinking up again - for companionship, and, "if the opportunity presents itself, insert a biblical point of view" whenever I could - as a means to reach the brothers I was with. (Even though I wasn't attending "church", the (livng) Word of God, had indeed planted itself in my heart and was a part, had "become" more of "me".) And I would, interject the Word's point of view and precepts when the opportunity presented itself..!
I would usually make "my rounds" to the brothers in the area, either Friday or Saturday evenings - to - nights... to have a few beers and listen to the B.S. or the gossip. A lot of times, it was both evenings or nights (as I'd buy enough for both nights - usually a case of "Lite Beer".(Every one drank Lite Beer as they (we) could drink *MORE*..) I never really got hammered, and driving on the County Roads was "safe" (i.e. no one else on the dirt (or graveled) road) I had become "deceived by the adversary"; that "this is okay - you're not out on the public roads". So I became (for a time) like my "friends" who had the point of view.. "It don't matter how much I've drunk, I'm on these back roads, and nobody's on them, I can get to "X's place" and talk and drink some there. Meanwhile, I'll have one on the way there." (Around these parts, the folks I hung with was less than 1 beer away; it's the way "Good 'ol boy" Texan's would gauge distance behind the wheel.)
My wife and I decided, during this period, to make the church that we kept "visiting", our "home church" and all that that implies. Shortly thereafter, I took to drinking Non-Alcoholic beer (N.A. Beer), at the urging of God, via the Holy Spirit that LIVES in my wife, "that my witness to my brothers, only caused confusion in the minds of the brothers I was seeking to remind, and return to God and His Son. In order to go and grow with God, you need to stop - altogether." (that's the short of the long and short of the message.) I know the difference between personal opinion and the Holy Spirit, and, being the teachable person I am, took the admonishment to heart.
So for a while, I made the 'rounds' with N.A. beer in my cooler in back of my old hatchback and then by my new truck God made available to buy. It wasn't turned town - especially between paydays when no one had money for the beer. But it wasn't the same. They'd "bitch" in a non-bitching way, about my choice of brew to bring, and I'd remind them that the times have changed, and drinking while driving IS frowned upon by our society in general, even discouraged and I was just following the "new rules". "It's still beer" I responded. (I even riminded them that the legal definition of DUI hand changed from .1% to .08%, I knew, in my heart of hearts, they too, though good people they were (They'd give the shirts off their back if needed) were decieved, by our adversary and would not change their behavior. By His Mercy and Grace, I was strong enough to allow the Holy Spirit to deliver me from excessive binge drinking! I couldn't have done that in my own strength!
As I reflect back to that time, I remember I started thanking God, and His Son, more and more, for the day to come and the day passed and speaking in tongues (perfect spirit talking to Spirit prayer) more and more, at the oddest moments or times of day. I was becoming a praiser, as well as more of a prayer. And... get this..., I was missing playing guitar, and His music, for Him. It was as if an old "hole" or "wound" in my life was re-opened. I remembered the feeling as it wasn't too long in the past I felt the same way. Once again I said (prayed) to God, "Father, I miss playing music"...
Whilst we were attending our new, home church, I was as content as content could be, just sitting in the pew, and listening to the Pastor, listening for "the Word" and for anything I could apply in my life, wouldn't you know it, the Holy Spirit, started bugging me, to get with (join) the Praise Team. Their guitar player had been noticeably absent (though I thought he was on "vacation" or something, and would be back. This went for a several of weeks. Every Sunday, the Guitar player wasn't there. Each week, the Spirit in me, bugged me and pestered me to join the Praise Team. Each week I ignored it, passing it off as vanity. But it was insistant. (Can you see where this is going?) I was content as content could be, sitting in the pew and soaking up the Word, and being a follower of Christ and my Pastor (in that order). I saw the fine quality of the musician's and singers there (when their mic's were turned up just a little bit so they could be heard) but what stood out like the proverbial sore thumb, was the Praise Leader; she exuded LIFE (in Him); she had the right heart; inasmuch as when she was praising Him, she WAS praising Him; when she was worshipping Him, she WAS worshipping Him, but the backup vocals and musicians appeared to be LIFELESS - like stones and near-dead trees!
The Spirit impressed in me that (a) this girl needs more LIFE backing her up and (b) the Team needs a good guitar player. I knew I had a "whole lotta life" in me (from what I learned from the old church in Louisiana) and I've been told "You're a good guitar player" more than once.. I knew, once again, I'd be part of the Praise Team; all I had to do, like I did in that small church in Louisiana, was introduce myself. The spirit in me was really bugging me "Time's a-wasting! Get up there where you belong! You're not obeying!" "Okay, alright already" though it wasn't words I heard from the spirit but, I found myself obeying an "urging", a "prompting" if you will. (Earlier, I said "Who can win a battle of wills with the Holy Spirit??" I know I can't. Then again, I don't want to.)
So I found out who to introduce myself to, and introduced myself as a guitar player of 20 plus years, redidicated to His service for the past 5 years and I'm led to join her team. I was exitedly invited with such "relief" and "inward praise" to attend the next rehearsal, as the old guitar player had been transferred to another location by his job. I was an answer to her prayer(s) as she'd been praying for another guitar player. Wow! Talk about divine appointments!! They ARE real! And they are FOR real!
So now, I still praise God, praise His Son for the day to come and the day in the middle, the day while I'm working and the day passed, and still find myself speaking in tongues (praying in the spirit) at wierd times of the day or night, He guides me to Christian people I work with when they're heavy of heart or mind, and I "minister" to them by reminding them what I know His Word says given the situation they're facing, to help them stand on His Word, which He magnified above His name, and apply His principals and precepts in their life. I find myself in situations recently, where I can do one thing but a precept from His Word just sort of suddenly pops up in my remembrance - prompting me to apply His Word in MY life too.. (amazing how the spirit in me works to help others as well as helping me DO the Word..)
The Word says "Faith comes by hearing; hearing by the Word of God"; "Be not hearers of The Word only, but DOERS of The Word". To the which, I reply "Teach me Your Ways, oh Lord, and I will walk in Your Truth"
Oh the joy of it all! Glory to God! Even though I can only participate in Praisin' and Worship'in Sunday Mornings only, I'm having a blast! It's been more than a year since I wrote the above, and my praisin' has risen a couple of notches. I've recently entered into Worship a couple of times. I'm growing!! The Praise Team as suffered some losses and been blessed with replacements and additions. Glory to God! Deb's joined the Praise Team too! I get so blessed watching her; she's really taken the same teachings I've gotten and has been anointed by the Spirit himself - for Worship. It figures! I'm the Praiser, she's the Worshipper. She really gets lost in the worship - it's amazing to me! But, then again, I can get lost in the Praise. That's amazing to her! She has, fired up the singers on the Praise Team who choose to get fired up - which, has brought the entire Team up a couple of notches!
We're all at a higher level and we're takin' it to the next level! WooHoo! Come Holy Spirit!