The Story Behind the Song
I was sitting in my office one day when I received the news that I had been expecting. A friend of mine had been told that he had a terminal illness. He was an accountant and I was a revenue officer for the internal revenue service. We had our battles over the years, some of which he had won, but that did not seem important at the time. A friend was dying. A friend whom I had known for several years, had laughed with, and yes, even cried with. A friend who had welcomed me into the community when I first arrived in town, even though he knew that I would be his oppostion in the future.
David was a good man. He was not perfect like I was, but he was a good man. He liked to laugh and many a day called me up to tell me joke. He brighten many a bad day with the IRS. When we worked on a case together, there was never a time when we really argued. We disagreed, but I honestly can't remember an argument.
As the news of his illness sank into my mind, I asked myself why David. There were many people that I knew who would have been better candidates for this illness. Why David?
I said a little prayer, cleared my eyes from the tear that was forming and buried myself in my work. But I could never get away from the question of why. The rest of the day I would stop work and the question of why was always there. I pulled out a piece of paper and wrote most of the song as you see it today. I wrote everything except the chorus. I put it in a file and did not share it with anyone, it was just for me.
David had been dead for several years when my wife's mother died after a long illness. We traveled to Milwaukee for the funeral. It was a long trip by car, but it gave me time to think. The question of why returned. What could I say to my wife to comfort her. There was nothing. I let her cry on my shoulder, listened as she talked about her mother, told her I understood, but I didn't. I really didn't.
Her mother had asked that I sing at her funeral. "Just As I Am" rang empty in my heart. I was having trouble again. Trouble with the word why. The trip home was even longer. The question of why was grew louder.
In the quiet of the night as my wife and kids were sleeping in the car, God spoke to me.
Our memory, one of God's blessings, allows us to go on. It allows us to hold on until we will be reunited in Heaven. I will see Lynn's mom again, I will see my mother again, I will see David again.
Larry Chilton
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