My Poetry Page
9.Wandering Through the Lost and Found
These poems are original works of art. Please do not reprint them without my permission. Copyright 1999 Nicole Hazzard.
There is balance within me,Balance
between all the darkness
and the shimmering light.
It holds me together,
keeps me from being engulfed
by the black, empty depths,
the soul that lurks in me.
I stand on the ledge, balanced,
cradled in the dim light
of what I hope will be,
and look down through the depths,
the past that weighs on me,
balanced in between,
hoping I won't fall.
Life flows across my mindFall to Oblivion
as I sit and wait for death to come
My thoughts are playing jumprope with insanity
Confusion is a waterfall in my ears
The images I see
aren't really there
My perception took a few wrong turns
on the road to reality
So here I sit
on the edge of oblivion
watching my confusion drain away
hoping peace will come
as the last of my life
drips off my finger
We stand on the lawn,Pretending
our arms engaged in semi-meaningful play.
You tell me words you think you feel,
my mouth mirrors yours without knowing.
You won't find any true love in me,
our feelings are just shadows of hopes and dreams.
But you go on believing;
your blind eyes see what you want to see,
not the play-acting we hide behind.
I go on pretending to be who you want,
too wrapped up in myself to know who I am.
But soon truth will come to shatter our lives,
and love will be all that's left.
I see so many shades,Self
yet when you look,
it is only black and white.
I hear so many voices,
yet when you listen,
you hear your own.
I thrive on diversity,
yet you live
within yourself
I change and grow,
yet I still harbor you
within me.
You may be here, but I'm all alone.
You don't hear me, and I can't tell you
just how I feel.
How do I break the walls
and get out of my dark cell?
How do I let anyone see
who I really am?
How do I break free
of all my fears,
all my clutches?
I'm trapped here,
all alone,
everyone around me.
I'm drowning in the tears
trapped behind these walls.
I need someone to let me loose,
for soon I'll be another statue
devoid of feeling
staring out of stone.
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Twisted
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I am alone
when people are near
My feelings and thoughts
are twisted
I think about life
and ending it
I think about death
with no fear
I'm curled up in a ball
inside my head
I never want to find
a way out
My mind is a maze
of fear and doubt
I won't get free
till I'm dead
in the murky waters of my thoughts.
I try to cry out,
but my voice fades away
in the ripples as it dies.
No one can hear me
as my consciousness sinks,
pulled down by thoughts
trapped in the dam of my mind.
And you just sit there
wondering why I never talk,
not knowing the struggle going on inside.
I want to tell you,
but my voice has died.
Walls
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The darkness is growing
inside these walls,
I'm screaming for help,
but no one can hear me.
The cold is consuming
inside these walls,
I'm looking for warmth,
but no one can see.
The pain is overwhelming
inside these walls,
I'm looking for help,
but no one can heal me.
My conciousness is receding
inside these walls,
I look for a way out,
but no one is here for me.
These walls are still growing
inside my mind,
I try to get out,
but I can't get free.
Wandering Through the Lost and Found
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Wandering time, looking for you,
lost in your world you search
trying to find some hints in memory,
looking back on a girl, young, ageless,
wondering who she might be.
Searching comes to no end of questions:
"Who, what, where am I?"
Answers elude, or perhaps delude?
Hiding behind other people's faces,
telling you who you should be.
Then you see the first memory,
flashes of a time forgotten,
cherished moments, childhood dreams,
you find the girl and finally see,
this is who I am.
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