A Special Testimony From A Special Sister
Deborah Lynn Hartzells' Story
John 3:16- For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him, shall not perish, but have everlasting life.
I was born on November 30, 1972, in Dewitt Army Hospital, to the proud parents of John F. Hartzell Sr. and Barbara J. Hartzell. The proud sister of John F. Hartzell Jr., who is only a year older than me. I had a pretty good life in my younger years, my imaginary (real) playmate was Jesus. My Mom would hear me in my room, talking to someone and would ask who I was talking to. I would tell her "I'm talking to Jesus."
I always would sing songs to my Collie Shepherd, Teddy. I loved that dog so much! My Grandma, Anna Mae Hartzell, my Dad's mom, lived with us down in the basement. She was my best friend.
When I was six, I met Satan. He took my dog Teddy from me. I was so sad. I would not come in the house until night time. I was afraid to live in the house without a dog, so Mom and Grandma went and adopted Muffy, a little Beagle Terrier. She was such a funny looking little puppy, looked like a Joey (baby kangaroo). She was so tiny that John and I could not play with her until she got a little bigger. I was happy again.
On my seventh birthday, my Grandma was in the hospital because she had a heart attack. I went to the hospital and showed her all my new toys. That was the last time I saw her and the last memories I have of her because on December 4, 1979, my Grandma went to live with God. It's funny though, I knew she was because God told me. I was going to Christian School at the time, so I went to the Pastor and told him two days before that God had told me my Grandma was coming to live with him. He told me I was being silly and I told him it was true, that my parents would need him. He still told me I was being silly, but he did come over to talk with my parents. My parents thought I was being silly also and assured me Grandma was coming home in a few days. Sure enough, she went to live with the Lord on the fourth.
My Dad took it real hard and started drinking heavily. He was real mean and nasty, especially to my Mom. I was afraid, so afraid of him. When I was eleven, he left my Mom, for a twenty-three year old woman named Karen. My parents got divorced and dad married Karen. She was nineteen years younger than my Dad. I thought it was my fault that they divorced and I blamed myself. I never liked Karen and never told my Dad until they divorced two years ago. She treated me like a slave, always waited until I came for the weekends to do all her housework for her. She never let me spend time alone with my Dad. I guess she was jealous of me, the way she was jealous of any women my Dad knew. She hated my Mom because my Dad would call my Mom frequently to see how his children were. She swore up and down that my Mom was trying to get my Dad back.
I was always an overweight child and had very few friends. My best friend Teresa, whom I met in eighth grade is the only friend who has stuck by me through the years and I am forever greatful to God and Teresa for our friendship. At sixteen, I had a chemical imbalance in my brain and became very suicidal. I was a walking suicide. I did not realize what I was doing, all I knew was that I felt like I was being swallowed up in this black hole and could not get out. I weighed at the time, like 230 lbs. and dropped to 165 lbs. from the Prozac I was put on. The chemical imbalance even raised up my sugar so high that I had to give myself insulin injections. The depression lasted for at least six months, if not more. My senior year I skipped school almost everyday to hang out with the wrong people and I started smoking cigarettes and pot. I was drinking pretty heavily too. I was on the verge of failing school, but I was so out of it, I did not care. My last quarter of senior year, my Mom put me on restriction from everything. I had to stay in my room. I could either sleep or do homework. I was bored of sleeping, so I did homework. I graduated because my last quarter I made A's and B's. I quit smoking the pot, but was still drinking.
So the years passed on and everything was ok. Karen left my Dad two years ago. He was so sad, until he met his third wife Stephanie. She is a blessing, a gift from GOD!!! I've never seen my Dad happier in his life.
I had just lost the love of my life, Joel. He was the only guy I have ever gone out with who is still a good friend. We broke up because he wanted to move back home to California. I dated other guys, but then came Brian. He was so sweet at first, until I found out about the pot smoking. Then he started on the crack and became very abusive. I blamed God for the abuse. God was not abusing me, Brian was. I'm not going to go into graphic details, I'll just let you know that now I forgive him, but I will never forget. I know, it really was not him, but the drugs. I did not know how to get away.
In September of 1996, I met these two really nice young women in their thirties. They asked me if I wanted to know about God and Brian had me hurting so bad, I needed God desperately. The one lady gave me her phone number and told me to give her a call. It took me two weeks to call her, but I finally did. She started reading some passages from the Bible to me and I thought wow, this lady is really nice and very sweet. I went to her house and they told me they were in this organization called "The Way International." She assured me that is was not a cult. I started going to their little religious meetings and was starting to feel happy again. My Mom and my brother weren't so happy. They knew it was a cult, but they did not know what to do because I became one of those people who spouted off scriptures and had no idea what I was saying. I was able however, to get away from Brian, two weeks after New Years. By the end of January I was feeling unhappy again. The people in the Way told me that they were the only way to get to Heaven and everyone who was not in the Way was going to Hell. They started telling me I needed to watch what I said to my family and friends and not to repeat anything we were taught. I thought if God was so wonderful, why was I feeling so bad and that's when I started feeling sick.
My Mom told me I was lazy, but I knew I did not feel right. I was so tired all of the time. Then my right knee started giving out on me and I would fall. I decided it was time for me to leave the Way. I was so afraid of them trying to track me down and find me, but they have never contacted me. I started going to my Mom's church and that is when I truly found GOD!!!! I was so happy and so emotionally joyful. Everything made me cry.
One day in April, the fourteenth, I was in my parking lot getting ready to go to my car for work, when my knee gave out on me and I fell and twisted my ankle. I had to crawl up my stairs and told my Mom, either she needed to come get me or I would have to call an ambulance. She told me she was on her way. I was told by the orthopedic doctor that I was standing too much at work and not getting enough exercise on my legs, so he sent me to Physical Therapy, but instead of getting better, I got worse. I was unable to drive. My right foot would turn on the brake pedal and get stuck under the break pedal. I was scared. I was totally numb from the waist down and went back to the orthopedic doctor and he scheduled an MRI for me of my spine. They found Multiple Sclorosis lesions all up and down my spine and on my brain and I failed the spinal tap and the visual test. By the time I made it to see the Neurologist I could not walk. I was put on a walker, then a cane and now I am walking on my own again. I was not worried, God just slowed my fast-paced, non-caring life, into a slow walk. I am able to appreciate things more and enjoy my family. Everyday God blesses me with beautiful things and beautiful people. I get so emotional now over everything God does in my life. I made a promise that I would never turn my back on my LORD ever again. He has saved my life so many times and now it's time to give thanks. I still have my moments, my little attacks from the devil, in fact three weeks ago I cried for two whole days, but that will never stop me from loving God and thanking Jesus Christ for what he did for me. I know that soon I will be healed from this disease, if not on earth, in Heaven. I'm only here for a short while so I'd rather be happy and enjoy it and Praise God than have pity parties with Satan.
So everyone, this is my story...my testimony of faith in GOD!!! I love God, I love life and I love all the important people that love and care for me. Mom- Barbara, Dad- John Sr., Brother- John Jr., Niece-Autumne;Stepmother- Stephanie;Best Friends - Teresa, Victoria, Robin, Justin; Niece-Sami; and everyone else, you know who you are!!!!!
To my Dad...I am finally blessed, by God, that you and I are so close.
To my Mom...thanks for all you have done through my pain.
To Autumne...thanks for always loving your Aunt Debbie and making her feel special.
To John...thanks for not only being a wonderful brother, but best friend.
To Jim Ailor...for not only being my wonderful Assistant Pastor, but also my friend.
To Teresa...thanks for sticking by my side for thirteen years and being my best friend and being bad with me...HAHAHA! :-)
To Stephanie...thanks for turning our families life around.
To Victoria...for always being there when I need you and for being my big sister and best friend forever! XOXOXO
To Silly Soul Sissy...I love ya girlie! ;-)
To Thomas...for all your prayers and you know I'm praying for you and hopefully God will send me a wonderful guy like you someday.
To Nazskioopeh (Michael)...for always making me smile when I am blue and being a wonderful, caring person.
To Anthony...for all those nights you stayed up with me on the computer because we are both insomniacs and for making me laugh so hard, you almost made me wake my Mom up! HAHAHA
To MISFIT...for making me laugh when I am blue and making Mom feel special.
To Justin...for making me laugh and all the memories. I miss you!!!
To Robin...for always being there when I was going through Joel, Harry, Brian, etc. HAHAHA! Oh yeah...JohnGray (ELVIS) LOL!!! I miss you!!!!
To Chystelle...for loving her Aunt Debbie. I miss my sweet Chrystelle.
To Sami...for loving Aunt Debbie.
To Stomper...for sending me a beautiful Angel and being a beautiful person.
To CURL...for being so sweet and adorable.
To Robbie and Kim Pitt...for helping not to fear the Way.
To Gammy and Gumpy...who have always been there for me.
To Terri and Paul...for being my first date out, on my walker and caring.
To Auntie Suesan...whom I never felt really close too until I was saved.
To Uncle Pete...just cuz I love you and you make me laugh.
To Denise...who will always be my evil step-sister! HAHAHA...love ya!
To Justme...for always looking out for LilAngel.
To Cliff...my wonderful little bro.
To Lynn Howard...for your caring and concern.
To Everyone else I love, whom I did not mention, you know you are loved!!!!
Most of all to my WONDERFUL LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST!!!!!
Isaiah 40:31
For they that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagle's. They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.
Ephesians 6:10-18
A final word: Be strong with the Lords' mighty power. Put all of Gods' armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies and tricks of the Devil. For we are not fighting against people made of flesh and blood, but against the evil rulers of this and authorities of the unseen world, against those mighty powers of darkness who rule this world, and against wicked spirits in the heavenly realms. Use every piece of Gods' armor to resist the enemy in the time of evil, so that after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the sturdy belt of truth and the body armor of Gods' righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the good news, so that you will be fully prepared. In every battle you will need faith as your shield to stop the fiery darts aimed at you by Satan. Put on your salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God. Pray at all times and on every occasion in the power of the Holy Spirit. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all Christians everywhere.
This Is A Favorite Song That Debbie Sings Unto The Lord In Her Church!
"Arms of Love"
I sing a simple song of love to my Savior, to my Jesus.
I'm grateful for the things You've done, my loving Savior, Precious Jesus.
My heart is glad that you've called me Your own,
There's no place I'd rather be than in Your arms of love.
In Your arms of love,
Holding me still,
Holding me near,
In Your arms of love,
In Your arms of love.
This Is A Poem That Debbie Composed Just For Her Lord And Savior Jesus!
"My God, My Father"
Oh Lord you have saved me from the storms of life,
Your unconditional love has brought back my health.
I was gone from you oh so long,
I have returned to love you from now on.
You are my first thought in the morn,
The last thought of my eve,
Your light shines through me,
I know you will never leave.
You have turned me into a wonderous child,
A child who will never leave your side.
I know you will never leave me,
For you are my light and my guide.
I have been blessed day by day,
Through your heartfelt touch.
And your warm friendly chats,
I have forgotten what it was like to ever go back.
I know you are using me for something special,
The strength you give me,
Helps me wake each day,
I know this disease will soon go away.
If not on this Earth,
The visitor I am.
In eternity with you,
Forever will I stand.
I know I will still be attacked,
From time to time.
But your love for me,
Will forever shine.
When I am afraid,
And think I lost my way.
I can lie down in your green pastures,
And you will take the fear away.
My love for you,
Will forever stand.
You have bought my life,
And I am in your hands.
This is a letter that Debbie wrote to her niece!
August 22, 1997
Dear Autumne,
I am writing this letter to you to tell you a story about a puppy dog named Teardrop. Teardrop is very special to Aunt Debbie. When Aunt Debbie was a little girl, her very best friend was Grandma Hartzell, your Papa1s Mommy. We used play together all of the time. Your Papa used to call us Grandma, and Baby Bunny. She lived down in the basement in our old house, almost like she had her own apartment. Sometimes Grandma Hartzell and Aunt Debbie would play sleep over, and Aunt Debbie would spend the night down in the basement with her. We would just have a good old time. When Aunt Debbie turned seven years old, Grandma Hartzell got ill and went in the hospital. Aunt Debbie went to the hospital to show Grandma Hartzell all of her new toys. Papa, Baba, Daddy and Aunt Debbie got Grandma Hartzell a get well puppy. Well Grandma Hartzell loved that little puppy. She slept with him in the hospital. Four days after Aunt Debbies' seventh birthday, God called Grandma Hartzell to come live with him in Heaven and be one of his Angels.
A few days later, Baba and Aunt Debbie were downstairs going through some of Grandma Hartzells' things, when we found the little puppy dog. Baba asked me if I would like to have him. We sat there and thought of a good name for him and we named him Teardrop. He was given that name because Aunt Debbie cried a lot of tears on him and loved him for years. Now Aunt Debbie would like you to have him because you are not only my beautiful niece but, my best friend and I know you will love him as much as I have. He is a good buddy and a good friend to love, hold and cry on. He is a very good listener and he can even keep secrets. So Teardrop belongs to you now and you can keep him forever and ever. Love Always, Aunt Debbie
Back To My Homepage!
© 1997 mcpumpkin@geocities.com
Sign My Guestbook
View My Guestbook