Unusual Disclaimer

This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries are included. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. Do not read while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Do not stamp. May be too confusing for some viewers. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. For business use sometimes. Do not disturb. Hi-Mom, please send money. All users over 18 years of age. If condition persists, please cry "HELP", then call your doctor. No user-servicable parts inside. Freshest if used before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times are not approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States, ( or if hand delivered ). Please remain seated until the computer has come to a complete stop. Reading this disclaimer constitutes acceptance of agreement. For Off-road use only. As seen on T.V. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike, look for the name tag! Contains a substantial amount of unstable ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television and computers. Keep cool, process immediately. Do not refrigerate. Post office will not deliver without postage, use E-Mail. This list was current at time of printing. Return to sender, address unknown, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from anything. At participating computers only. Not the Beatles, or any other bug. Penalty for private use or "mis-speled words". See label for directions. Penalty for early withdrawal. On school nights, be in bed by 9:00. Do not write below this line. Deer Crossing, no tree stands allowed within 500 feet. Falling rock, falling trees, watch out! Lost ticket pays nothing, don't loose your ticket. Your canceled check is your reciept. Please add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin, avoid breathing fumes, hold your breath, don't pass out. Sanitized for your protection, please don't touch. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt, (if that were only true ). Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of Dog, beware of Cat, beware of mouse! Contestants HAVE been briefed on some questions before the show, but we won't tell you who won. Limited time offer, e-mail now. You must be present to win. No passes excepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary to enter ( but if you don't buy-- you won't win). Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from flames, ( or fire ). Replace with same type. Approved for all ages, ( that's a rareity these days ). Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include tax. No phony money accepted. Not recommended for infants. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction slightly prohibited. No solicitors, no alcohol, no dogs, no horses, no taxes! No anchovies unless otherwise specified ( what's an anchovie?) Sample package, not for resale. List at least 2 alternate dates-( Susie, Jane). First pull up, then pull down. Please deposit 25 cents before calling toll free number. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash, driver works for a living. Some of the trademarks mentioned appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror appear closer than they are. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued today. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your milage may vary- these estimates were made downhill. This end up. Do not stack over 4 high. Please be seated, we are about to stop. Thank you for traveling with us. This supersedes all previous notices, written and unwritten. This disclaimer may only be copied if you have the time and patience. God Bless-have a nice day! One more thing, Pam said to "shake well before using".
Jim

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