-your horse gets shoes more often than you do.
-someone does something nice for you and you say "good boy" and pat them on the neck.
-you're trying to get by a co-worker in a restricted space and instead of saying "excuse me" to him/her, you cluck to them instead.
-you patch your mud boots with duct tape and slop through knee deep mud to get hay to your horse, who has commandered the ONLY dry spot for miles.
-you get up at 5am every morning when you're in college, drive 10 miles to the barn, feed, clean stalls, ride, and rush back to your 10am class smelling like a barn without complaining
-no one wants to ride in your car because they'll get sweet feed and hay in their shoes and purses...that's ok because then you don't have to rearrange all the tack to make room for them, anyway.
-you are totally grossed out by human hair in the sink or tub, but don't mind horse hair in your washer, on your clothes, in your food...
-you find human hair in your food and it makes you gag, but horse hair goes down fine.
-you look at all the piles of laundry sitting next to the washer and most of them are breeches, horse blankets, saddle pads, etc...
-your non-horse friend gives you a funny look after glancing in the back seat of your truck, and you realize he's noticed your whips and spurs.
-you say "whoa" to the dog.
-your parents consider themselves Grandparents (to your animals) when they have no grandchildren.
-you see the vet more often than you see your doctor.
-you give directions to your house and you say, "It has a big aluminum horse trailer in the front yard.
-someone says, "Does anyone have a screwdriver?" and you hand them a hoofpick.
-the doctor says the bump on your finger is an inflamed tendon sheath, you tell him, "Oh, you mean a windpuff."
-the real estate agent asks what kind of house you are looking for, and you say, "More than six acres."
-for once you have extra money to buy yourself something, you get to the check out counter and decide that you don't really need that shirt anyway. That $25 could be an entry fee!
-the horses are the only ones that get fed by you. Everyone else fends for themselves.
-you save the hoof shavings for the dog.
-you poke your friends in the ribs and cluck for them to move over.
-you clean your tack after every ride but never ever wash the truck.
-you have the worming, lesson, and farrier schedules in your head, but frequently miss your own appointments, meetings, or changing the oil.
-you yell at somebody and the horse's name comes out.
-on rainy days you organize the tack room or the trailer, instead of the house.
-your tax refund is targeted to new tack, not your vacation.
-you are unreasonably pleased to get a horse item, any horse item, as a gift. "They really cared!!!"
-books and movies are ruined for you if horsemanship references are incorrect.
-you actually get to the point that flies don't bother you that much.
-your horse's mane and tail get better care than yours, and it shows.
-your horse gets more compliments for grooming than you do.
-you kiss your horse more often than your boyfriend, and enjoy it more.
-you've considered moving into the barn, since it is cleaner than the house.
-your horse seems the right choice when you need to talk something out with someone.
-you jump out of bed at 5am on Sunday to feed before an early ride, but barely hear the 5am alarm on Monday morning.
-your boyfriend hangs around the barn hoping to get a massage when you've finished on your horse.
-you often sneak furtively into laundramats and pretend that you really didn't just put that filthy horse blanket into the comforter sized machine.
-all of your pockets have hay in them.
-you have a knife in your pocket (and you're a woman).
-you have more pictures of your horse in your office than you have of your family.
-you leave work feeling stiff, tense, with a stomach- or headache, and all those feelings disappear the minute you go through the first gate to the ranch.
-you drive up to the barn, get out of the car and inhale the perfume from the manure pile.
-you look forward to the smell of a barn full of fresh hay.
-you talk to the horses like they were kids.
-all your stock has 4 legs.
-the only picture of you that your significant other has of you shows you on your horse.
-you hate posing for pictures unless you're on your horse.
-you chirp to, cluck to, or spur your truck/car.
-you say "whoa" to your truck/car.
-most of your social life is with other horse folk.
-you're buying clothes, and you choose them on the basis of whether you can wash horse slobber/ manure out of them.
-you live with electric fencing tape around the lawn, so the horses can mow it for you.
-you're got a perpetually skinned place on your knuckles or the heel of your hand, from when the hoof rasp/pick slips...
-your breezeway/mud room has hay & crud all over the floor, a saddle on a rack along the wall, misc. tack hanging from the chairs, muddy boots & gloves, etc. lying about. Someone's coming to visit and you don't care.
-you aren't interested in watching the news, but have to, in order to catch the weather, so you know if the barn needs to be left open for the horses.
-you trade in your nearly-new car for a 1-ton 4x4 Ford, so you can haul feed and hay for the animals. (And have that Powerstroke engine for pulling the trailer up those looooong hills.)
-you'd rather stay up with a friend's sick horse than babysit her kids, BUT you will babysit a friend's kids while she stays up with a sick horse, even though you HATE babysitting.
-you go on a diet for your horse's sake, but not your significant other's.
-you go on a diet, not to be more attractive, but to be a better rider.
-your bicycle is mostly used as a bridle and saddle rack.
-you get knocked down and split you lip wide open on the horse's halter because you were doing something you KNOW you shouldn't have been doing, and with blood running down your face your first concern is making sure the horse is alright, calmed down, and put in his stall. Then you go to the hospital for stitches.
-the doctor tells you that you have to have stitches and your first question is, "How long will it be until I can ride?" (and you are devastated when he says 6 weeks.)
-you get your income tax refund and the first thing you do is head for the tack shop.
-everytime you go to the stable, it takes about 3 hours and you can't imagine where time went.
-when your horse has it's mane pulled more often than you get a hair cut.
-you live hand to mouth, but somehow come up with the $800 for emergency vet bills.
-your house is "decorated" with bits, saddles, bridles, halters, blanket racks, ropes, and buckles.
-you save every horse magazine you've ever bought.
-your horse gets vitamins and supplements everyday and you can't even remember to take vitamins yourself.
-you feel tired all day long and then go to the barn and ride 3 horses.
-you would rather sit out on the back porch sipping a beer and watching the horses graze than watch sports.
-you buy your significant other a horse for Valentine's Day.
-you have your best and most intelligent conversations with your horse.
