Newsletter by Date
This is the first edition of the Titus 2 Birthing newsletter. I hope there will be others in a somewhat orderly and consistent manner - that's the plan. I also hope that this newsletter becomes something more than my ramblings. For those of you not inclined to take subtle hints, that means contributions are encouraged. I hope to see this out about every other month until there is sufficient content to warrant more frequent sendings.
The purpose of the newsletter is to keep our members and friends aware of what's going on in the ministry, in the birth world, and to provide encouragement and a sense of community. Most of the newsletters will be posted via email to save on postage. Comments and suggestions are encouraged, and may be printed where there is a general topic interest unless you request otherwise.
If at any time you decide you don't want the newsletter, drop me a line and we will remove you from the list. If you want to forward a copy of the newsletter on to others, feel free to do so, but please send the entire newsletter. If you have friends who want copies of their own, they can send a request to mailto:Titus2@fni.com.
News of Note from Within
At the end of April, Kathy Nesper and Lynn Johnson of Apple Tree Family Ministries, Leslie Parish from Spirit Led Childbirth, and Kathy Rateliff of T2 Shepherd Ministries met together in California (it wasn't sunny!) to decide where and how we might work cooperatively. In looking at the Titus 2 Birthing programs, the ATFM CCCE program and Leslie's ideas for a DONA compatible CCD program, we decided that there were enough differences and emphasis to remain separate programs and work together on various projects.
We had a great time fellowshipping, praying, brainstorming, and getting to know each other better. We found that our strengths and weaknesses, both personally and in our programs, complemented well. We soon hope to have an informational document that will outline the similarities and differences in the Titus 2 CCCE & CCD programs compared to the ATFM CCCE program and the CCD program that they are working on with Leslie. We also hope to provide some cooperative seminars in the future that will encourage and provide educational opportunities for participants in both programs. Another future project may include the production of a birth video with a Christian emphasis and less nudity than some of the current offerings from Injoy, Childbirth Graphics, and others.
The Titus 2 program will continue much as it has, with the exception of replacing the former ACCP requirements with those specific to the Titus 2 program. We made these changes due to ACCP's decision to remain neutral so that they could refer inquiries to both programs. I appreciate ACCP's stance and hope this will force us to dig a little deeper to become a better and more supportive organization.
Workshop Notes
As of the beginning of May, Titus 2 Birthing has provided five CCD training workshops. Although we won't wow anyone with the large crowds being drawn, I can say that we have had quality participants at each and every workshop. For an organization still in it's infancy, we have been most blessed with the turnout and with the evaluations of the workshops.
Three of the five workshops have been local, the fourth in Austin and the fifth in Atlanta. There is a workshop planned for North Carolina September 3-4 and one scheduled for Dallas October 29 -30. We have several other inquiries, but no firm dates. I will announce schedule changes and updates via this newsletter and via our new website currently under construction by Dawn Irons, one of our CCD applicants and contact person for Blessed Arrows Ministry (a sterilization reversal ministry and offshoot of the Quiverfull group).
We also have several students working on the CCCE program and hope to be able to schedule an intensive sometime close to the end of the year. Once I have an idea how quickly students are proceeding through the study modules, I will be able to announce dates and registration for the intensive.
To facilitate registrations, applications, and general inquiries, registration packets will soon be downloaded to the website. Progress reports, book and video reviews, module responses can be returned either via email or snail mail. This should enable me to keep up with paperwork and provide a quick response where needed. I hope this provides you with a more direct and timely way to contact me with questions, requests and paperwork approval.
In the Spirit of Cooperation: Building Bridges, Not Walls
I have been musing a lot lately on the need for unity in Church as a whole, and in the Christian birth community specifically. In keeping with the focus of the ATFM/T2 meeting, I feel that God has been showing me a direction that we at T2 need to follow.
Given the emphasis that most of us have on natural birth, breastfeeding, and family support as God's design, sometimes we may be guilty of a "We" VS "Them" mentality. Focusing on techniques which allow us to help clients avoid as many non-essential medical interventions as possible may cause us to see the allopathic, obstetric model as adversarial and harmful. Providing as much complete information on risks, benefits, alternatives and projected outcomes may sometimes place us in a position that seems adversarial to some caregivers. The same struggle may often true when comparing Christian birth professionals with nonchristians. But is that view skewed?
Most doctors, nurses, midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, lactation consultants, etc. do have the best interest of the client at heart. The difference is often more in perspective and training than in intent. Perhaps the key to building bridges is to work at seeing things from the other person's perspective and trying to find a middle ground where we can meet. Encouragement and affirmation is one way to build this bridge, both with the client and with other birth professionals. Mutual respect and cooperation can also be helpful and should not mean that we end up selling our client down the river in the process.
Most nonchristian birth professionals also have their client's best interest at heart. Most of these dedicated professionals use similar techniques, emphasis, and levels of commitment. In many instances, we read the same books, acknowledge the same role models, provide similar services, and aim for similar goals and ideals. The difference, again, is perspective rather than intent.
So that being said, how can we build bridges instead of walls?
Sometimes we do find that individual who refuses to work cooperatively, exhibit mutual respect, or even just treat people humanely. With those unfortunately few, there isn't a whole lot we can do to change them. Our only option is to the best we can, pray for them and leave the rest to God.
I hope when it comes time to be effectively evaluated by our peers and the community at large, it will be affirmed that we work at building bridges - both in the birthing community and in the faith community. As Christians, we should exhibit traits of the Master and work to further the Kingdom by word and deed. Our finest reward should be to hear Him say: "Well done, good and faithful servant!"
An Opportunity For Finding Resources
Living in the Dallas/Ft Worth metroplex has several advantages. One of those advantages has been being able to find quality birth books at a reasonable price. Often this means finding them used, and sometimes it just means finding them available at a discount.
At several of the workshops I have brought various finds from my search for the best resources. These have include $6 copies of A Child is Born (the revised edition), Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner for $3, and assorted other books. I can't guarantee prices because it often depends on where I find them and how much it costs to get them to where they are going.
However, if there is interest, I will be glad to post a list periodically of what I have unearthed and the cost of each item. You may also send your current wish list to me with a top dollar amount if you wish. I will notify you if I find what you want so you can accept or reject the item.
Another option that seems to have been well&endash;received is the birth doll models. I have three to get out in the mail this week, so I know there is interest. Those who want to get a doll/placenta/uterus/cord/BOW can place an order. Please include the following info on options: 1 bag or 2, detachable or permanently attached umbilical cord, and whether you want to knit your own uterus and need the pattern. Cost for the model is $20 with shipping. Turn around is about three weeks except during the week right before and right after a scheduled workshop.
As I find other inexpensive teaching options, I will try to make those available. I do include an explanation and directions for making several of the models with the childbirth curriculum, so if you have the resource book, you may want to look there first.
A Final Note
The Dallas jail program, known as Project Matthew, is doing well and will be set free to fly. Liz Holland is taking over the teaching and administration of the project so I can focus on my midwifery studies and expanding the parenting component into a full curriculum offering. I will continue to work with the Dallas program, but will not have the responsibility of making it run.
I finally have an able assistant in Ft Worth and that should allow me to delegate there as well. Gretchen Hernandez has been going in with me for several weeks now. We are scheduled to present information about the program via a booth at the Prison and Jail Chaplain's Conference at the end of May. I hope we can encourage other facilities to take an interest in providing Christian childbirth education and labor support to inmates. Please pray with us that God will open doors there.
Thanks for all of your prayers and support. I hope you will find that Titus 2 Birthing provides a wealth of information, support and encouragement to you as you work to serve God as a birth professional.
NOTE: Much of this issue will be concerning work in the jail and recovery issues.
Our First Anniversary
We reached our first year anniversary at the Ft. Worth jail last week. For a program some at the jail hoped would go away, I think quite a few were surprised to see the program not only survived, but thrived. This program was started June 24, 1998 and the Dallas program started in Jan., 1999.
I would like to give you the statistics from our program for the first year. Please realize that these numbers: a. represent real women and their babies, b. represent what God was able to do and glorify Him, and c. only indicate what we can document through evaluation forms, class rolls, and paper trails.
Evaluation forms from inmates for both labor support and classes indicate an overwhelmingly positive impact. Many of the ladies indicate that they had made a first time commitment to Jesus or a recommitment during the classes. Many are using the material presented as a springboard to recovery in the areas of substance abuse, destructive lifestyles, and towards better parenting skills.
We recently received a request to begin a new program at the state prison in Dallas. This program would operate like the Dallas jail program and be handed off to trained workers once the program was up and running.
I am grateful for the wonderful workers God sent to be a part of this program. There is no way I could handle this alone. I am also grateful for the favor He provided with jail staff members, hospital personnel, inmates, and crisis pregnancy centers.
I hope in the coming year to see these numbers continue to reflect how God is reaching more women who are in jail and prison. One of the ways this will happen will include a trip to a state prison to follow up with some of the women transferred from county jail to prison. Another way we are seeing continued results is evidenced by the number of women who stay in contact with me after they are released. And finally, God is showing me that there needs to be an outreach aimed towards survivors of sex abuse. I have discussed this with the Chaplain in Ft. Worth and we are working towards a recovery class.
Book Review: I'm All Grown Up, But the Monster is Still Here: (a book for women sexually abused in childhood) by Judith Ward
Judy Ward recently came to our church with her husband to cover for our pastor during his vacation. Judy has a ministry to survivors of childhood sexual abuse. She is a speaker to various groups on this issue, and works in a Texas state prison in the prison library. Judy brought her book: I'm All Grown Up with her, and I purchased a copy to take to the jail that afternoon because I had received a request to go up and speak to a mom whose fourteen year old daughter had been raped. The mom I checked it out to has since loaned it out to a number of the women in her cell group, all of whom have expressed how blessed they were to be able to read this little book.
I would recommend this book to any birth professional dealing with survivors. Much of the material is focused on helping the woman in recovery, but there is also a letter addressed to the husbands of these women. The biblical basis of this book focuses on God's love and forgiveness, His ability to heal and make whole, and how abuse affects the way we respond to marriage, parenting, life, and God.
Not an expensive book by any means ($5 + s/h), this little 102 page book is short enough to read in just a few sittings or to ponder over each chapter for some time. Judy does make a point to encourage women to seek a trusted friend, pastor, Christian counselor, or other source to help them on the road to recovery.
Appendices include: Recognizing the signs of sexual abuse, How to protect your child from abuse, and some recommended reading.
I found the book also applicable to those who had suffered abuse later in life, although this is aimed at those who were abused as children. Another thing I liked was Judy's focus on the choices women have as adults in changing life patterns. She told me that she often tells women that, while they had no control over the situation as children, once they are grown, they can make other choices for themselves and their families.
If you are interested in receiving a copy, you can contact Judy direct at: Butterfly Ministries; Rt. 2, Box 2798; Palestine, TX 75801
Another Resource:
I recently spoke to Ken Freeman at Last Harvest Ministries in Garland. Ken has written a Bible-based recovery curriculum for survivors of abuse called Free Me To Live. The original program covered many areas of abuse: abandonment, emotional & physical neglect, physical or verbal abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, overprotectionism, overcontrol, religious abuse, satanic ritual abuse, abortion, rape and incest. Several years ago I took his training session and became a Careleader for this program and I have used it frequently with women I deal with.
Ken is putting out a new and revised edition of the program that will remove many of the specific areas of abuse out of the main program and into smaller handouts that can be given to each person on the basis of the kind of abuse they suffered. General recovery information dealing with forgiveness, renewing the mind, identifying your strengths and weaknesses, overcoming the past, etc. will remain in the main book. He plans to make much of this material available through PDF form on his webpage.
For those of you interested in having an excellent resource to recommend to those struggling with recovery issues, this is a great one. Self-paced, simple, and thorough; this material is workable in a small group setting or individually. The Careleader's Manual is a great resource and I found the training as a Careleader to be exceptionally valuable.
Ken can be reached at 972-494-6041 or kenfreeman@cpcworld.org.
Other Notable Items:
We have changed our email address. Please make a note of the new addresses. Titus 2 questions can be sent to Titus2@flash.net. Personal stuff can be sent to Rateliff@flash.net. We've changed the addresses on the web page, so the links are current.
Scheduled Meetings:
Time Management:
Time management is a skill that is necessary for all of us who try to juggle family needs with our work as birth professionals. The Fensende midwife's list recently received this wonderful illustration which I thought was worth repeating.
One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.
As he stood in front of the group of high-powered overachievers he said, "Okay, time for a quiz" and he pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar.
When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, "Is this jar full?" Everyone in the class yelled, "Yes."
The time management expert replied, "Really?" He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks.
He then asked the group once more, "Is the jar full?" By this time the class was on to him. "Probably not," one of them answered. "Good!" he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. Then started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, "Is this jar full?"
"No!" the class shouted. Once again he said, "Good." Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. He looked at the class and asked, "What is the point of this illustration?"
One eager beaver raised his hand and said, "The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!"
"No," the speaker replied, "that's not the point. The truth is, this illustration teaches us that if you don't put the big rocks in first, you'll never get them in at all.
What are the 'big rocks' in your life, time with your loved ones, your faith, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you'll never get them in at all".
So, tonight, or in the morning, when you are reflecting on this short story, ask yourself this question: What are the 'big rocks' in my life? Then, put those in your jar first.
And Finally:
I hope this newsletter becomes more than just my input. If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
If you got this newsletter and don't want to receive any more, let us know and we will remove you from the mailing list. If you want to forward it to someone else, feel free to do so. If you want to subscribe contact me at Titus2@flash.net.
If you want to schedule a workshop, contact me and we'll work out arrangements. If you need additional info about a workshop already scheduled, let me know and we'll get you the information you need.
General T2 News:
Thanks so much for all the prayers for the TBN interview last month. The program aired Aug. 2 & 5 and I got a number of very positive comments about it. It also sparked some interested persons to offer to assist the program, which was an immeasurable benefit. I'm sorry it wasn't broadcast more than just locally, but perhaps later that may be an option.
Interest in the Titus 2 programs has picked up speed with a number of you sending out copies of newsletters, information on workshops, and referrals to friends. I appreciate that more than you know. I send out several packets per week to new inquiries. That's not too bad for a program still in it's toddlerhood.
Last Harvest Ministries is putting their Free Me To Live curriculum in pdf format and downloading it to the web. I will be using their curriculum at the Fort Worth jail soon as we start a sex abuse survivors class on Saturday evening. Ken has revamped the curriculum to make individual abuse catagories pull-out sections so they can be given out individually to those who need a specific abuse area addressed. I will include the web address in a forthcoming newsletter when the down-load is complete.
Our midwifery study group is doing an herb study in preparation for two local workshops: Herbs in Pregnancy and A Family Herb Workshop. I have permission from the group to post herb reports to the Titus2CBE email list. If you copies, let me know so I can make sure you get one. So far we have done Chickweed, Goldenseal, Angelica, Red Raspberry, Dandelion, and Cayenne.
High Maintenance Clients
Before I get into this, let me state that I do not have a particular client or birth professional in mind. It hasn't been a particularly hard week, and although I do have a couple of high maintenance foster daughters I might offer to trade for a week, I'm not stressed out by a high maintenance client. However, as compationate women working as birth professionals, you will run into one of these women periodically in your career. If you haven't yet, hold on - you will!
The challenge is to know when you have reached your limit. Sometimes these women must be passed on to other professionals in order to preserve your health/sanity and help her get the help she truly needs. You can only do so much for each woman you deal with. You are not called to rescue her from herself, sort out every problem in her life, or even be her friend. Sometimes trying to help just enables her not to change and that is destructive for both of you.
Having said that, I'll try to address: identifying the high maintenance client, What Would Jesus Do with her, how that applies to Titus 2 mentoring, and how to determine when you may need to refer her on to another professional.
• Identifying the High Maintenance Client
This is a woman who often passes you mixed signals. She may ask for information on every option and then fail to make any decisions for herself and her baby regarding those options. She may pledge to make some wery positive lifestyle changes, but whine about how everyone sabotages her efforts to change. She may complain about how this or that person always takes advantage of her or tries to control her, but keeps placing herself in situations that perpetuate the problem. She may complain about what a mess her life is, but never make any effort to change. She may complain about others making decisions for her, but refuses to make any decisions for herself and wants you to rescue her from every situation.
Allison gave these indicators: a woman who takes more time and effort than your youngest child or oldest teen, who is more on your mind than your spouse, and whose call you dread so much that you program your phone to alert you when she calls so you can decide whether to answer it.
• What Would Jesus Do
First and foremost, he would love her. He would pray for her. He would allow her to make her own decisions and mistakes. He would tell her the truth in love. He would refuse to enable her. He would witness by example.
To the birth professional, he would also remind you that you must minister to your own family. He would remind you that he took time to draw away for time to refresh and spend time with God when the press got too great. He would remind you that sometimes you have to let them go off and spend time in the hog pit before they come to themselves and decide to change. He would remind you that others do not always understand your motives and sometimes take you to task over it. He would remind you that you can lead, but they don't always follow. He might remind you that the truth isn't always popular. He would console you when you weep for what you cannot change.
• Titus 2 Mentoring and the High Needs Client
First and formost, realize that God promised His Word would not return void. If you speak His truth and hold up His Word as the plumline, He will be responsible for the end results.
Your prayers are also profitable and necessary. He can provide you wisdom and her strength to change, elightenment, and comfort through the power of prayer. AND, you are not responsible for the end results - only to be faithful to pray.
You can't provide a good mentoring model on how to love your husband and your children if you spend so much time doing other things that your family is neglected. Remeber that there are requirements for your behavior that preceed your directive to teach by example and word.
Provide her enough written information to make a decision. If you don't, you will spend more time in person or on the phone covering the information than you would have had you been prepared with fact sheets.
Schedule the extra half hour to listen to her, but do impose limits on how much time you can spend. You do have a life outside your clients. And don't feel like you have to solve her problems in the course of that time. The only place where everything can be solved in a half-hour is a tv sitcom.
Love her enough not to try to be her Savior, but to point her to the Savior. You can be Christ-like without having to try and be Jesus to her. You can never be as dependable and giving as He is. She needs to learn to rely on Him and not you.
Be honest. When you feel that you can no longer help her, that she needs more help than you can give, that you may be enabling her to play the victim, or that the relationship is destructive to you and/or your family, let her know. Don't avoid her and make her cling tighter.
• Determining When to Pass Her On
There will be times when you begin to work with someone in good faith and find that you cannot really provide the best and most adequate help. This is especially true where you have a woman who really needs some significant work on issues in her life and you aren't trained or equipped to provide that counseling assistance but you find yourself doing just that. This would also be the case for a doula who discovered that her client was working hard at creating a situation where the doula would have to play midwife or where the childbirth educator was spending more time in class counseling the couple than teaching the lesson. There are also times when a woman may need more medical assistance than you are qualified to provide.
Don't be afraid to approach her with other names and references and explain the problem. Be specific about why you feel that she needs more comprehensive help than you can give. Be specific about what your criteria woud be to continue to work with her (ie. allow the couple to continue to attend class, but not be allowed to turn it into a counseling session and be required to begin counseling within a few weeks time). Provide it in writing, including: why you feel you can no longer work with her, your recommendations for further care, what refund you might provide for services you will not be able to render, best wishes for her continued progress.
Working wtih high needs clients, like parenting high needs kids, can be a blessing and a time of growth. It should also be an experience where you have to seek God's strength when you are week. It will be a situation that drives you to your knees. It may be a situation where you finally have to turn the client over to another or have to watch them turn and walk away because they are determined to go their own way. Whatever the final outcome, God can and does use it to shape us and form us into worthy vessels for His love and service.
Infant Massage Helps Build Stronger Bonds
It's an amazing study in human nature to sit in a circle of moms and their new babies--from three weeks old to crawling age--and watch the dynamics in each mom/baby pair. Some mothers hold their babies' gazes comfortably, while others have difficulty looking into their babies' eyes. Some moms appear comfortable with their babies, while others may seem more than willing to turn them over to someone else. Some may be very attentive while others are almost neglegent. Some mothers are playful; some rough; some tender. Most babies are enthralled by their mothers and seek to respond to her. Here and there you may see a baby who mirrors mom's discomfiture and can't seem to respond positively at all.
Rätsel, an infant massage instructor from the doula studies list reports, "As a five week class series progresses, mothers who at first had difficulty looking into their babies' faces and handled their babies somewhat carelessly (letting baby's head hit the floor, burping a newborn over the knee roughly and inattentively while chatting with other moms) begin to see, and to respond to their babies' needs. The babies, in turn, respond by becoming more expressive, actively seeking mom's attention instead of withdrawing, and by becoming more receptive to loving touch. Mothers and babies who had strong bonds in the beginning enjoy a deeper level of communication."
Medical research has established the following benefits of daily infant massage to ALL babies and caregivers, not only families at risk. Benefits include:
Children who receive respectful, nurturing touch from an early age have deeper respect for themselves and others and know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touch. They have been given the benefit of loving, secure bonds from the earliest age and carry that standard of interaction with them into the world. Sending a consistent message to our children about touch is also important--i.e., giving our children the option to kiss and hug Aunt Sue or Uncle Bob only if they *want* to, not forcing them to because it's "polite" (imagine the repercussions of "politeness" during adolescence). Loving touch also enables fathers/partners to have the kind of relationship with their babies that was previously only mothers' province.
Infant massage instruction is a wonderful gift to give to parents and their babies and makes a truly satisfying adjunct to the doula care we provide. I often encourage moms to massage their infants. This is especially important where the baby may have been compromised by mom's prenatal habits like drug or alcohol abuse. Infant massage can help to alleviate some to the negative effects of drug and alcohol abuse by helping babies to better coordinate their systems.
Johnson and Johnson has 2 interesting videos for $10 each. Clinical Implications of Touch in Labor and Infancy talks about doulas using massage, infant massage, and some massage techniques. That video is about 21 minutes in length. They have a second video that is 15 minutes long called The Importance of Touch: A Parent's Guide to Infant Massage. They also offer a parent information booklet on the importance of touch and a foldout poster with step-by-step instructions to infant massage for parents and caregivers. Information can be obtained toll-free at 1-877-JNJ-LINK.
I have the Clinical Implications video and find it very useful in talking to birth professionals and parents about infant massage. Johnson and Johnson was also kind enough to send me several copies of both the booklet and the fouldout poster for free. They also sent me copies of the following booklets offered by their pediatricts institute for caregivers: Amazing Talents of Your Newborn, Growing Together O-3 Months, Growing Together 3-6 Months, Growing Together 6-9 Months, and Growing Together 9-12 Months. All their videos in this program are $10 each and the additional booklets were inexpensive.
Well, that's enough for this edition. Please remember that letters to the editor, submissions of your own writing, and questions are always welcome. You are free to pass this newsletter on to others and to give them subscription information.
If you received this in error or you don't want to receive it anymore, let me know and I will take your name off the list.
Thanks for all your paryers. Until next time.
Housekeeping
First, a note of thanks to all of you who have been patient during the rather long period between this issue and the last. The last several months have been very busy and I have been surprised at the fire-storm of interest generated even when I was fairly quiet.
My heart-daughter, Leah and Jeremiah were married yesterday. (For those of you who don't understand the term "Heart-daughter," it means a child God provided not of your body, but of your heart.) Over the last 6 months of so, I have spoken often with them about the place of submission in marriage and what that means. The pastor who performed the ceremony yesterday did as well. In working through some of those thoughts in my own mind, I believe God dropped some interesting insight into my mind about women and health care. I have included it in this issue.
The manuscript for The Christian Woman and Health Care: Sensible Choices for Her and Her Family has completed it's first printing. Unlike some of my other "handouts," this reads like a book and contains no fill-ins. I am pleased at the response I have received offering it for sale, and we will continue to include it as an offering for interested parties. At almost 70 pages, it covers: Vaccines; Reproductive Surgeries; a short section on Birth Options; Birth Control; The Bread List; and Alternative Options in Health Care. The appendices include: a religious vaccine exemption form, excerpts from the PDR verifying the use of aborted tissue in vaccines and the abortifacient properties of some birth control options, and a copy of VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) form.
Midwifery Today will soon run an article on the Titus 2 jail program. Thanks to Jan Tritten for asking. I've also had several other publications ask for a similar opportunity. In keeping up with the requests for information, several board members have encouraged me to put together a manual for those interested in putting together a program of their own. This would make it easier for me to respond without taking up lots of time doing it. This project will probably be finished towards the end of the year.
On that note, my prayer requests for this edition:
We have expanded the jail program to include 2 nights a month for a women's support group, another weekly birth class, and an on-site ministry to families. The new programs are all aimed at familial support of inmates. This includes pregnant wives, girl friends, and daughters having a class exactly like the one in the jail, but at a discounted rate where needed. The local hospital labor support program has volunteered to help by providing labor support for most of these women because many of them will deliver at the county hospital. The Tuesday night support group will include women who have been in abusive relationships, those with a family member in jail, those coming out of jail, and any woman who feels she needs added support. The on-site ministry is meeting one night a week at a men's facility and talking and praying with women who might need either of these other two programs.
With these programs beginning, my time for private classes and labor support is diminished. My board is adamant that I should be compensated for my time and is planning a fund-raiser for the spring. Any contributions would be tax deductible (run though the church that provides over-sight to this ministry), and regular partners encouraged. My needs are relatively small and I have requested $5,000 per year in salary plus funds to cover what small overhead we have (postage, phone, internet, books for the library, and the like).
Thanks for your prayers!
A Question of Submission
Two weekends ago, I did the first offering of a workshop entitled The Christian Woman and Health Care: Sensible Choices for Her and Her Family. I spent some time considering why women are prone to let others decide for them what they should do about their own health.
Debra Evans, in her book The Christian Woman's Guide to Health Care, and Robert Mendohlson, in MalePractice and Confessions of a Medical Heretic, provided quite a bit of information about how the medical allopathic system puts women into an unequal situation where they are likely to submit to unwanted procedures.
Debra provided an eye-opening statistic about regional rates for hysterectomies. Women like me who live in the southern United States are 78% more likely to have a hysterectomy than women in the Northeast. Henci Goer's new book, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth notes that southern women are also more likely to undergo a cesarean than women in other parts of our county. So why does living in the middle of the Bible Belt place women at higher risk for some form of reproductive surgeries? I believe I know at least part of the answer.
In the Bible Belt, we place a greater emphasis on exhibiting at least some form of religious belief than many other parts of the country. A higher percentage of people attend church, profess to read the Bible, and claim faith in God in the south. A higher percentage of people are also more likely to have at least a minimal amount of Bible knowledge and/or misinformation than the nation as a whole. (Statistical information from George Barna)
Southern women are more likely to internalize a quasi-biblical concept of submission to male authority. Most women, even those women who rebel against the concept, often fall into situations where they consciously or unconsciously submit to a male authority without question. The problem is this is a misinterpretation of the biblical concept. Women are not to submit themselves to any and all male authority, but to their husbands. Just because the doctor is male (or a female taught by males to parrot the male party line), doesn't mean that she obeys him. But many women do just that - obey the doctor rather than thinking for herself or checking out her options.
Take, for example, Jane who is pregnant and wanting a natural childbirth. In labor she finds herself in some pain, but is handling things relatively well. However, her husband is distressed by the pain and wants to "save" his wife from the pain. The doctor offers to give her something for the pain and infers that if she does this she and the baby will be better off. He offers drugs several times, each time badgering her about being a martyr, expressing that her discomfort might place the baby in distress, and comments that it would also make her poor husband feel better to see his wife more comfortable.
Jane may submit because she thinks the doctor must be right. She may submit because he keeps badgering her. She may submit because the doctor convinces her husband to join the fight against her and press her to accept drugs. If her husband, however, sees this battle as an attempt to remove his headship, he may move to better support his wife and either stop the badgering or send the doctor packing.
I think it bears some thought, especially in Christian childbirth classes, that couples consider where the spiritual headship lies. Ethically and morally, are the choices made in keeping with God's design or does it characterize man's attempt to prove that we know better than God how things should work? Do we seek care providers who have faith in the process created by God and appreciate our Christian stance or do we hire those who fear the process and/or ridicule our faith and moral perspective? Do we approach the procreative process with faith or with fear?
This doesn't mean that we abandon all medical knowledge or assistance. It does mean a judicious look at whether we call on medical intervention only when needed, and after prayerful consideration, or if we routinely subject every pregnant woman to procedures that are often unnecessary and may even be harmful to the vast majority of normal women having normal pregnancies.
It may mean that we acknowledge that for many, medicine has been elevated to a religion with the doctor as high priest and dispenser of sacred knowledge. New machines, gadgets, procedures and policies are the icons, sacraments, tenets and creeds of the religion. Seeking a second opinion or deciding to refuse the offered pill, procedure or surgery may seem tantamount to sacrilege.
And for those who think my take on medical meddling in reproduction may be a little stern, point your web browser to: http://colitz.com/site/3216423/3216423.htm for a really interesting device to assist modern women to deliver. Whether the creator of this device intended it to be humorous or not, it may strike a little too close to home to pass it all off as ridiculous.
Book Review: The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer
Once again Henci has produced a book worthy of highest praise. This book is aimed more towards the consumer than the birth professional. It is readable, understandable, concise, and well-written. The literature summaries are thorough enough to make this a need for birth professionals who want to stay up on current research. The bibliography and resource lists were helpful and contained some excellent suggestions.
In the first 169 pages, I have emptied an entire highlighter. There was so much good information in just the introduction that I read a significant amount of it at the health care workshop. While not written as a specifically Christian resource, it does little or nothing to drown the birth process in anti-Christian rhetoric. In fact, she makes several references to how well the birth process works when left alone. The worst that might be said about those comments is the subtle flavor of evolutionary philosophy, but there is certainly nothing blatant or biased against Christian thought.
Some comments I liked:
I had a chance to correspond with her about the new book. She was very candid about pointing people away from buying Obstetric Myths, which is more expensive, and more towards buying the new book. She said that the information in The Thinking Woman's Guide is more up-to-date, easier to read, and less expensive. She is also offering a substantial discount for bulk orders - 30% off if ordering at least 10. It took me less than 2 hours to find enough local friends to commit to buying at least one book and making our discount a reality.
I doubt I will be loaning my newly acquired copy out. If someone wants to read my copy, they will have to wait for additional copies to arrive. Besides being heavily highlighted, bearing Henci's personalized greeting on the opening page, and my not quite having completed the entire book, this is one of only a few books I don't want to be without. It is also a book I want to make sure is available to expecting couples, even if I don't let them have my first copy.
My advice - Get your own!
A Reason to be Thankful
Thursday is Thanksgiving. Somehow, with all the hustle and bustle of a wedding, a new workshop, an expanding jail program, and midwifery studies, my Thanksgiving Tree never made it up this year. That's really a shame because we have much to be thankful this year. I will miss the leaves on the table and in my file to look back on later.
If you've never done a Thanksgiving Tree, you might want to consider one for next year. The tree is cut out of butcher paper and hangs on the inside of our front door. Leaves are cut out of various colors of construction paper and taped to the tree. On the back of each leaf, safely hidden until Thanksgiving Day, is a reason to be thankful. Each family member takes one leaf per day for most of the month of November and writes down something they are thankful for. We encourage them to take time during the month to make sure that at least once they list a reason to be thankful for each person in our home.
The leaves go up one at a time all during November until Thanksgiving morning. No one is to peek and see what another has written. Slowly we watch the tree gather leaves as our family has gathered blessings all year.
On Thanksgiving morning, I pull all the leaves off the tree and scatter them, face down, on the table where we will eat. The table is set, food prepared, and plates served before anyone can sit down. Grace is said and we begin to eat, but we also take time during the meal to gather in leaves. After everyone has eaten, we take turns reading from our pile of leaves. Each leaf is read, commented on, and placed in a basket.
Chronicled on years of leaves is our family history. Almost every important event of the last four years is on a leaf somewhere. Past years, stored carefully and safely in the file, contain thankful comments from pregnant women who shared our home. Many leaves give details of how God provided a way where there was none or how He brought a specific person to minister in a specific way to someone. Other leaves show how our children have matured and grown in the Lord through their changing attitudes.
Perhaps we will move our Thanksgiving Tree to the other side of Thanksgiving this year. I can't see us not stopping to thank God for His blessings. But whether we put the tree up this year or not, I wanted to share with you some things I am thankful for this year:
I hope you have much to be thankful for. I pray that God has richly blessed your life and your home with all manner of spiritual, material and emotional blessing. I pray that as we move towards the season where we remember the special birth of Jesus and what that means, that you will renew your focus in working with expectant parents and bring His peace and His presence into every life you touch.
And Finally:
If you have a book review, point of interest, comments, or an article you think is in keeping with the Titus 2 focus, send it in.
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