"Alarm Clock Kimi!"

    Copyright 1998-1999 - by Kristi Day

    "Rise & Shine!"

    We foolish human family members lay in bed sleeping peacefully. Blissfully unaware that SHE lay in wait. How or when she ever learned to tell time we may never know, but our Kimi darling dearest has figured out the timing of this world. Or maybe it's just her own internal timing she goes by?

    Does it matter? When a tree falls in the forest, does it matter what made it fall? When a young eaglet learns to fly, does it matter HOW it knew it could? Or that it was time to try? Maybe to some it does, but not to Kimi. All that matters to her right at this very moment is that it is morning. And it is time for all to awaken. Now, it is apparent to all that she has figured out the order of waking in this household. And Kimi moves in to wake up the one who wakes up first. Or perhaps easiest.

    Have you ever laid there mostly asleep yet slowly climbing from under a sound slumber, only to know, to FEEL someone or something WATCHING you? Maybe you haven't felt any kind of touch yet, Maybe you have. Maybe you SENSE something. Maybe you don't. But whatever it is, something seeps into your consciousness and tells you IT is there. Reluctantly and regretfully you slowly open one eye. Just a crack. It opens to the barest of slits. But IT is there. Watching you. You groan, you close your eye, you pray under your breath that it's not real. And again you open one eye. Just a tad. But IT is still there. Watching you. So you consciously choose to close your eye again and pretend IT is not there. Watching you.

    Then you feel IT. A tiny, wet, cold nose, prepared that way especially for you and the job she must perform. IT bumps your nose, once...twice. Then.....nothing. Thinking, hoping IT has gone away, you sneak a tiny peek. But IT is still there. Watching you. You quickly slam your eye shut again, hoping IT has not noticed you are awake. You once again pretend to be asleep. Then IT does it again. You feel that cold, wet, jabbing nose. Once, twice it pokes you, then......nothing, Yet.....something. There are no more pokes, prods, or jabs. Yet you can still feel that wet chilly touch. Of its own accord your eye opens to the curious wonder of your mind. And there IT is. Nose to nose, watching you. Dark little beady eyes, focused on the sleepy not-so-focused eyes of Daddy!

    Laying there on his chest, gracefully rising and falling to the rhythm of his sleepy breath, Kimi waited. And watched. Knowing it was time for him to rise for the day, yet not anyone else, she knew just the right tactics to make sure he got up on time. With a deep, unblinking stare she can reach right into his sleeping subconscious mind to find his conscious mind as it awakens. And if it appears he responds to slowly, she calls in her reserves. The cold nose on the warm skin trick. Hey! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do! We all have a job to do within the family structure you know! And to keep the house running like a well oiled wheel, everyone has to do his or her fair share.

    Daddy slowly grumbles, "Okay Kimi, Okay......I'm getting up." In girlish excitement Kimi bounds from the bed yipping madly at daddy to hurry up. She wants to play! I lay there and hear daddy pulling his pants from the drawer and trying to put them on, one leg at a time. I say trying because Kimi is also trying to help. As daddy pulls them up, she grabs the bottom of a leg and pulls them DOWN! I chuckle in my own mind. (so as not to let Kimi think that I too am awake, least she turn her advance towards me!) As I listen to daddy quietly yelling "Kimi! No! Let me put them ON!" This is a daily ritual here. Our Kimi is, if anything, a creature of habit. But then aren't we all? With this, daddy sleepily stumbles out the door, down the hall and toward the kitchen. To the joyful accompaniment of "YIP!" and "GRRRR!" as Kimi nips at his bare feet, tugs on his pants leg and bounces back and forth in front of him, she serenades daddy while narrowly missing his groggily planted steps. Of course as Kimi serenades daddy with her cheerful good morning song, he blends in his own grumpy chorus of "Kimi, NO!" and "Kimi, stop it!" And as it ends with a hearty rendition of "Kimi knock it off, GIVE ME MY FOOT!" I chuckle out loud and roll over to go back to sleep. Aaahhh so glad it is HIM and not me!

    But as we all know, time seems to pass more quickly in your sleep. Before I knew it, it was time. Certainly before I was ready for it, my turn to be roused from bed has come. Now if any of you knew me well enough, you'd know I am not willingly woken, and all who come to do so tread in dangerous waters. My normally sunny disposition is well hidden by the fuzziness of sleep. Yet my senses that border on survival know enough to warn me when she is coming. Maybe it is that first pounce to the bed Maybe even before that when, somewhere in the back of my mind I hear the tiny thunder of running feet flying down the hallway, into my room, across the floor, onto the bed and WWHHAAMM!!! Landing right smack dab in the middle of my rib cage! All the air I just taken in on a breath came rushing out in a loud "OOOOFFFF!!!!!" Followed, as soon as I could breath again by "Oh Kimi!" I pulled the blankets over my head just in time to feel those tiny feet leave the bed again in another MOMMY POUNCE! "OOOFFF! KIMI!"

    I rolled over on to my back to escape those tiny toes that manage to wiggle their way between the ribs and snuggled down, hoping she would just go away. But like any type of beady eyed vermin.....she would not, did not, just go away! I could not smell her as my nose is only just a people type nose. I could not see her, being snuggled down with the blankets over my head. And I could not hear her, so quietly did she wait. But I could FEEL her there. Waiting. Watching. Just as I was about to relax, thinking, hoping, praying she had gone away, she struck. With a loud and vicious "YIP!!" She pounced me again. This time landing square in the middle of my ..uh.....bread basket.

    "UUGHH! KKKIIIMMII!" My words came out on a pounced rush of air. I threw the blankets off my head and delivered unto her my meanest, most evil glare, designed to scare off small children and drop men dead at my feet. Not that it mattered a whip to her! With a gleeful grin upon her face, eyes crinkling in the corners, she threw back her head, shouted out "YIP!!!!!!!" (BONZIA!) and pounced me again! ""OOOHH!!" came out with a rush.

    That's it! I've had it! I sat up, tossed back my hair, which of course Ms. Sneaky decided to grab as it swung out and she gave it a playful yet painful tug, and said "OW! Let go of my hair! KIMI!" That said, I gave her an evil grin, which turns out is a mix between the evil glare I cannot quite pull off over my grinning at her... and the grin of course. Taking a deep breath, I tried another approach. I quietly and politely said....."Kimi, it is NOT time for mommy to get up yet, please go away." And with that I laid down..on my OTHER side this time, pulled the blankets up over my head and closed my eyes.

    Which ought to teach my to look closer at any given situation and not accept what I believe to see on the surface. I was hoping after clearly explaining to Kimi that mommy dearest was going back to sleep, she would just as quietly and politely lay down too. I rested peacefully in blissful ignorance for all of 10 seconds. Which is about as long as it took me to settle down under my blankets, breath deeply once or twice and allow myself to relax. Then she struck. She pounced. She attacked.

    With a mighty "YIP!" followed by a vicious "GGRRrrrrr!!" topped off by a mighty "RRRYIP!" I was pounced upon. I was rattled. My blankets were shaken and yanked down. My ribs were poked, and prodded by her sharp nose. She tap danced across my slumbering skin as she pounced and all the while, finding some way to defy gravity and add twenty pounds in weight to each of her pounces.

    Still it did her no good. Us mommy types are pretty good at ignoring the needs of others when we are trying to get our much needed beauty sleep. So I treated her like you would any other bully and ignored her. Which of course frustrated her to no end. Which she then in turn took her deepening frustrations out on me! Kimi grabbed the blankets between her pearly whites and tried her hardest to strip them off of me. She bounced, she tugged, she yanked, and all the while her tiny body was hunkered down, except for the back end of course which was sky high. Yep. Nearly straight into the air was her other end! She was tugging and yanking on my blankets so hard that her chest was to the bed and her........uh...other end was pointed.....up. With a series of vicious "RRRrr'' "RRRrrr" "RRRrrr" 's she gripped that blanket with the fierceness of a bear. And not just any old teddy bear either! This was a tough mean old bear kind of growl. And as she tugged, and as she went "RRRrrr" I knew her to be saying "Come on Mommy! GET UP!!"

    And so it went like this..."RRRrrr!" (Come on mommy!) "RRRrrr!" ( Get up!) And my blankets would slip just a bit further.......south. "RRRrrr!" (Come on mommy!) "RRRrrr!" (Get up!) And another inch southward they slipped.

    Then, wouldn't you know it, just as I felt a slight chill to a spot that shouldn't be chilled, Kimi spotted that spot as well. Not having too see her grin too hear it in her "YIP!" I braced myself for her attack. Feeling her quick movement on the bed and having no time to react or take cover, she did it. Kimi nipped me. Right on the behind! "'YEOW! HEY! Kimi! NO!" came my startled cry. About 5 seconds after she launched herself at my, the thought came to mind that there are no preparations that work when one sneaks up from.....uh....behind you.

    Again she jumped forward. Again she nipped my nether region. Again came "YYEOW! STOP THAT!" And again I heard her breathy little "ahhhahhhahh" As though she were laughing! AT ME! I looked at her, and sure enough. There sat the little imp, grinning widely, tongue hanging askew from one corner of her mouth and eyes aglow with twinkling stars Reaching out for her with one hand, while my other hand rubbed and unmentionable spot, I asked her......"WHY do you have to do this to me every morning? Why oh Why oh Why???" And for her answer came this........"YIP!" Which I took to mean, "Because".....which is the answer most kids give to us when we foolishly ask them "Why". There doesn't need to be a reason in the eyes or heart of a child. 'Because' is good enough for them. Because she can. Because it's there. As it was for us when we were children. So I suspect it is much the same for our puppies as well. We ask "why" and they answer "YI!P".....meaning because.

    Glancing from grinning imp to my clock I saw that it was time to get up anyway. Knowing it was too early in the morning too battle another power struggle with Kimi, and knowing I was not yet awake enough to win it, I simply said to her..."Ok....I'm up NNNOOWWWWW!"

    And as I sat up and scooted to the edge of the bed, Kimi set about to be certain mommy did not entertain the foolish though of sneaking in five more minutes. With a quick one two jab of her nose to my rib cage and an even quicker NIP NIP to my rising backside, I was up. Kimi was happy, and so began our day. I left to take my shower, wake up to a bright day, and nurse my wounded pride.

    Wouldn't you know it though? When I walked back in to my bedroom following my shower, there lay Kimi. Sleeping peacefully. Like an angel. Well, I guess being a daily alarm clock is tough work for one so tiny. Feeling the devil sitting on my shoulder, nudging my ear, I heard "Do you dare to go and wake her?" Feeling the soft reproach of the good Kristi on the other shoulder, I stopped to weigh my options. Do I wake her now as she woke me? Or not?

    Fortunately the good side of mommy won out and I decided that for now, letting sleeping dogs lie is the better part of valor. And at least this way maybe I would be able to get my kitchen swept without Kimi the Killer (of all evil-do- ers) attacking the hidden monsters in the bristles as I swept.

    Kimi's hidden message in this story? Greet each day with a smile and share it with everyone you come in contact with. It makes getting out of bed easier to do. At least for one of you.

    walk in beauty
    Kristi & Kimi


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    Updated June 19, 1999
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