I know alot of people will say "what makes you an authority of the bible?". Well really, I'm no authority of the bible in that I have had no formal religious training. My beliefs stem from 17 years of searching for Christ, and two years of private, personal and fellowship experience and study of the bible and biblical doctrines since I found Christ (or Christ found me) in August of 1995.

I guess the best place to start is where I started. My journey began in June 1978 when I believed I had a religious experience with Jesus Christ. While fishing with a new friend of mine, he asked me "Where would you go if you died today?" Well, I answered Hell, and then waited for his response to my answer. After a while when he never did respond to me, I asked him why he asked me this and if there was anything that could be done about it. He said he could help but we had to go to his friends place.

After we arrived at his friends place we discussed the bible and Jesus Christ. His friend shared the so called Romans road with me (certain scripture verses used to help someone to Christ) and asked me if I believe this and wanted to be saved? Sure I said, he then led me into the sinners prayer, which goes something like this (Dear Father, I am a sinner and know I have sinned and fallen short of you. Please forgive me of my sin. I ask Jesus to come into my heart and save me from my sin. In Jesus name I pray, amen!)

Well that was that, boy I was saved and on my way to heaven. I began going to church and reading and studying the bible alone and with the person who helped me to Christ. After awhile he said I needed to receive the Holy Ghost too. So we prayed and he placed his hands on me to receive the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking in tongues. I felt good but did not speak in tongues. I then got really hung up on this and would try to speak in tongues in order to receive the Holy Ghost. Well, eventually I mimicked him, speaking in jibberish so I too could have the Holy Ghost.

After sometime I started feeling guilty for smoking cigarettes. I would try and try to quit smoking until finally I quit for about 1 month. I couldn't stand it no more so I began smoking again. Then again I started feeling guilty and was depressed badly. I was really afraid of committing the unforgivable sin, so I cried to God that if I smoked another cigarette that I would be guilty of this terrible sin, thinking this would help me quit. Well, I smoked and felt this oppressive spirit come upon me telling me to leave His presence. In my heart I believed I had committed the unforgiveable sin by smoking, and that the spirit was God!

About 3 years later, I thought I was real sick so I wondered if God would take me back. I started looking in the bible again to see if I could come back to God. From everything I read, I just knew I could not be saved. It seemed to me that I had went too far into sin and that there was no way back to God for me. I still thought I had committed the unforgivable sin. Later I again started going to church and having bible studies with the person who first led me in the sinners prayer. I remember how bad I felt, and that everyone could be saved but me. So I stopped going to church and reading the bible again.

In early 1989 while watching the 700 Club on TV I heard them talking about the rapture of the church, which got me to thinking about God again. Again, I really could not find God and went into depression because of the guilt of all the sins I had committed. The unforgiveable sin still haunted me all the time, but I still went to church. Going to church was really difficult, because everytime I saw a picture of Jesus or a cross I would get awful thoughts about Jesus and or God. (During Easter service at a nice church, a wonderful Spirit came upon me. I was feeling wonderful, but in my mind and heart I could not believe it. I was told in my spirit to speak in tongues and show these people the truth. I did not obey the Spirit because I just couldn't believe I was forgivable.) Alot of people and pastors tried to help me but nothing they said or did helped. I had prayed with many people, pastors and friends for God to forgive me, but sank deeper and deeper into depression.

Soon I had to go to the Middle East for Desert Shield/Storm. During this time I was alright somewhat, but when I returned home from the war things started getting worse and worse. My mind was always thinking about God and on how unforgivable I was. I had all sorts of uncontrollable thoughts, and started thinking about suicide. (Alot of people will think this isn't real, but I have met many other people this has happened to since.) I couldn't even stand looking at a bible, so I would hide them from my view. This went on for along while before I could function again.

In about March 1995 I again wanted the Lord Jesus, but again I could not believe I could be saved because I had committed the unforgivable sin. Soon my mind was all messed up again. I was in terrible fear for my soul and was in constant torment within my mind, from unseen forces. I finally one day while out on my sister in-law's farm went walking to get away from everyone. I remember sitting along side of a country road depressed and hopeless, while thoughts of hell and punishment swirled throughout my mind. After awhile I began walking again and went up on a hill and yelled out "God where are you?"

One day while I was reading the bible, thinking about baptism and what it was for, there was a knock at my door. Guess who was at my door? Well there were these two nice Baptist men wanting to share the Gospel with me. I told them my story, and how my life was messed up. They suggested I pray the sinners prayer, so I did. Later I went to their church and the next week I decided to get baptized. When I was getting baptized the pastor asked me if I was saved? I thought, what do you think I'm doing here? Well I answered yes and he baptized me.

Soon after this I met someone who started telling me about the true Jesus Christ, the truth about repentance, baptism in Jesus Name for the remission of sins, and the Holy Ghost. Well, my mind started clearing up from all the confusion and fear. I started reading the bible verses this person gave me. The more I studied, the more my mind got clearer and clearer. I was now living a repentant life and went to a church service at an Apostolic church. The next weekend I decided to get baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins. Well, it was the most wonderful experience in the entire universe! I was baptized, and when I rose up out of the water, I was free from all my prior sins and guilt. I was praising Jesus with all my heart, and thanking Him for what he had done for me....When all of a sudden I began speaking in tongues as the Spirit gives the utterance. Jesus Christ had cleansed me and filled me with His wonderful Spirit!

I have not been the same since that wonderful day that Jesus Christ cleansed me from my past! Praise Jesus Christ for His grace and peace He has shed on me.