NOTE: I don't know if these are the exact words; I taped the song, then lost the tape. Anyone who knows them, let me know.

Hey man think we're gonna have a pretty good game, uh, who do ya think?
Well, the heck with the game, look the Rocky hoes are here, a whole row of them....
Ohmigod....
God they're so desparate.
Smells like fat chick.
Hard to believe we're probably going to sleep with half of them.....

I'd like to date every single Pittsburgh Penguin
I'd like to sleep with them all more than twice
Don't know a thing bout the ins and outs of hockey
But I think that Mario's butt is so tight and nice
I'm a bimbo
You know that, my standards are low
When I get my man
He'll take me on the road
Then I can quit my job down at CoGo
Everyday I'm a Hockey ho
Ohmigod, there he is, he's coming this way!!
I gotta get me a Penguin
I don't care if he's got a wife
I gotta be a little Hockey concubine

Hey man....
Yeah what's happening?
Did you see them things in the fifth row, man
Ohmigod, I wish they'd close their legs, it's kinda distracting.
COMON BABY, WE'RE WORKING!!

Tattoo the names upon my keister
I've got the lineups down there every night
If Jagr gets traded so be it
My butt's so big there's always more room to write

I'm a bimbo
I wear skirts when it's ten below
Got my hair up high
Got my panties down low
I got more makeup on than Abby Rhodes

Every day I'm a Hockey ho
Rocky Ho: YAY!!
Put a sock in it, eh, WE'RE LOSING!!
I gotta get me a Penguin
I don't care if he's got a wife
I gotta be a little Hockey concubine

Oh, what a game.
Hooah, now comes hockey ho time...
Which one ya like, eh?
Not the one that's wearing my sweater.....
You were down at the pub with her, weren't you?
No, she came up and just started talking to me, eh?
Yeah, talking to ya.
She's got bigger hair than me...
Ooh, that's hard.
She depletes the ozone all by herself....they gotta open up the Igloo, I can't breathe!!